i think kids definitely can benefit from alone time with their parent-however, the problem personally with our family is that skid was one of four children in the household. If my dh is giving me and each of the 4 kids alone time how on earth does he find time for all that? How is it even feasible? Because it is also important to have "family" time together. Realistically I just dont think most families have time for each individual child to have a designated one on one time on a regular, recurring basis.

I try to look for little opportunties with my kids to go to the grocery store together, run errands, make use of time picking them up from practices, etc-but it's a rare and pretty much nonexistant thing that I'd get a whole day or whole afternoon to give each of my children one on one time on a regular basis.

Just to clearify i dont exclude my skids when they are here. I am also not upset that they want alone timewith their dad.

It was the way it went down yesterday that upset me. Dh daw it too and tried to incude me but ss16 refused if i was going to be there. There is a problem with ss16 that we nerd to get to the bottom of.

Yes kids need some time with their parents but doesnt meqn they can be hurtful about and be mean to the step parent which is what happened. Dh will be talking with ss16 to find out what problem he has with me.

I think it is very important for all kids to spend one on one time with their parent especially in a Step situation. It is a great chance to bond with your kids and spend time doing something with just that one child. I do not have any of my own children, but I encourage my DH to take my SS on trips for just them. This year they went to Washington DC (we live in Canada) just the 2 of them for 3 days. Last year they went backpack camping for a week. Now mind you my SS is a pretty good young adult and he really appreciates his dad taking him on these trips and I know their relationship is better because of it.

Hypovic you are sooooo right. Why are we cimparing ADULT relationsips to that of a child and parent? They are totally different relationships.

My dh loves his boys and wants what is best fir them but he will not let them disrepect any other adults in their lives including me. Which is why on sat night when ss16 made it clear he didnt want me included dh knew he was being disrepectful. Dh told me so. Which is why he tried to include me last night and ss16 refused which confirmed that ss1y was being rude. And that ss16 has a problem with me and he wants to kniw what it is.

I have no problem at all with DH spending time alone with SS17.

I do think it's kind of weird when they are supposed to be spending one on one time and BM shows up. :jawdrop:

Tuff cookie you just proved the point that adult relationships are no comparison to parent child. He dhould not have taken her in a cruise like that. Sorry but what ever happened to NORMAL parent child relatiinships????

I have NO problem with DH having time alone with SS. He has EOW with SS without me around. I cleaned the shit out of my house this weekend and it has actually been relaxing not having to entertain SS, and not having to sit there watching and hearing, and dealing with the train wreck of psychosis the BM is passing down to the poor kid.

The first week, I missed my husband. The next week, BS and I went out and really enjoyed ourselves. This week, not only did I clean, I cooked for the week, and spent time with BS, again.

I'm kind of worried at how much I am enjoying SS not being here. If DH ever manages to figure out what to do about the BM corrupting the kid, or, God forbid gets custody of him, I think I will have to insist that at least once a month they still continue staying at MIL's!

Quite honestly, as my SS gets older, I'd prefer he request to have one on one time, that way I won't have to ask them to.