I have read a few comments from other step parents and it's quite a relief to see there are other people suffering the same situation as me. I moved to Spain some time ago and met my partner with whom I have been with for 6 years, his kids were young only 4 and 6 so I thought that it would make things a bit easier.... couldn't be more wrong.
Basically the main problem is their mother.... I have never come across a person so void of basic human decency. The children have been brought up wild and without rules. Thay spend all their days in an inappropiate environment (family run bar) where she works all the hours god sends, she is even there when she is not working!!! I was brought up in a strict environment by my parents and respect for ones elders was always so important. These children respect noone, they are both girls and their behaviour is so tiresome I cannot take much more. Their mother is happy that they behave badly with them and applauds them, I know full well that her family speak badly of me and this must be confusing for the children as we try to teach them the right way to behave themselves and she undose anything positive that we teach them.

These children are unbeleivable, they complain about everything, nothing is good enough, they want to stay in when me and my partner want to go out, they want to go out when we want to stay in. They protest about having a shower, brushing their teeth, brushing their hair, getting dressed, doing their homework, making their bed...... the list is endless.

My partner is pretty much at the end of his tether too with them but is far more patient than me, I just hit the roof with them and the slightest thing makes me flip!!! I have got to the point where I refuse to take them anywhere special as they behave so badly. I don't even want to be around them most the time.

Not only do we have to put up with their behaviour but also their learning problems. When my partner seperated with his ex she would not let him see the kids other than every other weekend. They were very young and starting school. As the mother has no intelligence at all (leaving school at 12) she has never been able to help (or wanted to help) them with their studies. She let him see them more a couple of years ago when they became too unruly and she couldn't control them but the damage has been done and they are unable to sit still, concentrate and learn well so getting them to do homework and study is near impossible as they call for constant help.

The school system over here sucks and teachers are not willing to help nor do they want to recognise there is a problem. In my country social services would have been involved and his exwife would not have custody.

I could write a thousand pages more about the things I have to suffer and have thought so many times about leaving my partner because of them but I love him and really believe that these children need the stabilty that me and their father provide. I have spoken about seeing a child psychologist to help but my partner believes that the mother would not consent as she thinks this means that I am saying the children are 'crazy' and also sees no benefits as they spend so much time with her in a bad environment.

I feel better having been able to write all this out and would appreciate any advise that anyone can give me...........