Hi there! This being my first entry since joining I am going to give a little background first. But it does lead up to an event that happened 2 days ago that I am still struggling to admit actually took place.

      I live in Central Oregon with my boyfriend of almost 7years and our 2 dogs. I do not have any children of my own but boyfriend has 3 boys. I'm not going to disclose their names but I will refer them this way: The 24yo - B, 18yo - D, and the 13yo - E. My relationships with B and E are very close and strong. However, what led me to find this website is my relationship with D. Calling the realtionship with D rocky, doesn't even come close to what we have going on.

      D and myself have always butted heads, but aren't always butting heads. When him and I are getting along. I love it. But it seems like there is always something lingering. No matter what, there is always this feeling like he is up to something or planning something bad. Which 95% of the time, he was... Don't jump to quickly to think I just don't like him or anything similar. None of these feelings come without reason.

     Maybe some other time I will go further into the story of D. But to save you time right now. Let me give you justt a quick timelime of some events through his teen years....

• 13yo- we find out he is smoking pot and possibly stealing
• 14yo- gets first minor in possession ticket
• 15yo and 4mo before turning 15- gets 2 more MIP tickets and a harassment charge for allegedly pushing his mom. (That charge went away)
• 15.5yo- A law enforcement friend informs us that D has been struggling pretty heavily with behavioral and substance issues at school.
• 15.5yo- law enforement friend calls to say that D was arrested and believed to either be on an unknown substance or having some type of mental health crisis.
• 15.5yo- D is sent to behavioral hospital for 2mo and also placed on probation. 
• 16yo- D is diagnosed with earlty onset schizophrenia and possible Opposition Defiant Dissorder
• 17yo- D is released from probation and stops all mental health treatment and medication
• 17.5yo- D is sent back to behavioral hospital for almost 2mo after numerous concerning events. Once released, he immediately stops all care.

     D has been 18 for just over a month now. He claims he wants to live in a tent. He makes claims to be smoking crack (doubtful) and his disrespectful behavior has become incredibly worse. To a point I said something to him 2 nights ago I never thought I would.

    I have been fighting a really bad double ear infection for the last 2 weeks. My boyfriend nearly took his pinky off in a work accident 3wks ago and is awaiting surgery. 2 nights ago, our area was hit with a really bad snow storm. My boyfriend had left to try and plow the road and I was outside clearing snow, cutting wood, and attempting to knock snow off the tree limbs that sit above our home. D, was inside playing on his phone. I was not thrilled about it and I tried to explain that to him. 

     D made it very clear that he didn't care that I wasn't supposed to be out in the cold or about his dad's hand and him possibly causing the tendon he nearly cut through to snap by doing what he was out doing alone. I said something along the lines of how he should want to help his dad if he injured or not. He responded with "I didn't come here to work or help you guys. I came here to chill." During this he kept calling me "dude" and "bro/brah". I told him not to call me any of those again. When he was "explaining" to me how if I was a dude this whole interaction would be getting handled so differently, he called me bro again. The cocktail of it all pushed me to my limit. I told him to get out.

   Boyfriend came in shortly after we leveled up to screaming. I left the room and boyfriend took over talking to D. At the end of the conversation I hear D tell his dad, "I don't show people respect or respect anybody because I don't like how it makes me feel. It makes me feel weird to do it. So I don't". My heart dropped. It's the first time I have felt truly defeated when it comes to D. And he once told me that my face "looked very punchable" to him.  

   The feelings I am left with after this last weekend towards D, I feel awful for having. I can't imagine what boyfriend must be feeling. I feel like D and myself are putting boyfriend into a position to chose between us. Not something I would ever intentially do. But I will not be talked to the way D does to us in my home. I will not be forced to live in an uncomfortable state in my home. Is that selfish? Am I wrong? It seems that if we allow it, in a sense, "D wins". It teaches him that it's okay to treat us and other people that way. I wont do it. I can't. 

                   There you have it. My first of hopefully not many entries that are fueled by negative interactions with D. If anyone has anything suggestions to offer, please do so.