Do you ever wonder what DH/BF/SO saw in BM?
Seeing all of these pictures of what we "see" BM looking like got me thinking. Ever wonder what in the hell he ever saw in her? You look at her and she's not even cute and her personality sucks. So was he drunk or high or both?
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He was young. They got
He was young. They got married and had kids too fast. He didnt take the time to know her. But I can say the same about my ex. Also people change over time. Some people who were decent at the beginning can end up being total assholes.
But I dont really dwell on what he saw in her. He saw something, they married and had 4 kids together.
BM now does not look like BM
BM now does not look like BM that my SO dated. Actually she and I look a lot alike in our younger years. Skids have a picture of them with SO and BM. SS once told me that BM and I look just alike. We both have brown hair and wear glasses.
She looks a lot different now, but so do I. We've aged and gained weight.
She dresses better than me but I don't have an extra $850 dollars in CS to spend on myself. I spend my extra money taking care of her kids.
Her personality is crap. SO says she didn't use to be like that. I don't know. I'm different than when I was in my 20's but I'm more mature now, not less.
A few weeks ago, there was a blog asking the question "What is BM's nickname or you" or "What does BM say about you" something like that. I asked SO what BM says about me. Pretty much nothing. If anything, I bet she tells people she doesn't get why I'm with SO.
My BM is actually nice and we
My BM is actually nice and we get along ok so far - we only communicate when we have to about the SDs (usually only pick up/drop off) if DP can't for some reason.
I know they met when she was really young, DP was her first serious relationship.
I think she grew up a lot during their marriage and she decided it wasn't what she wanted and I think he was unhappy because he couldn't figure out how to communicate with her.
Then it was done, very messily, but done.
what zero said. he was young
what zero said. he was young and they didnt take the time to get to know eachother. the were both very attractive, outgoing young adults. he said she changed aLOT after lurch was born and it all went downhill from there. he admits he changed alot too, and not for the better. once rid of her ass is when he was able to get back to his true self. then he met me
DH was the super jock and she
DH was the super jock and she was the prettiest girl in HS. Neither of them had dated anyone else and they had no idea what they wanted. Not from each other or for themselves or from life.
They got married because all her friends were getting married and he went along because why not? It was the next step in a relationship.
His father and two best friends asked him if he was really sure he wanted to marry her. Of course he said yes.
Despite her good looks she was very very insecure. Everyone but DH could see it. He says he kind of saw it but thought if he loved her enough she would be ok.
He spent the marriage trying to keep her happy, with money, with houses, with cars, things she said she had to have to be happy.
In the end I think she realized she wasn't happy and blamed him.
I still don't think she's very happy, she tries to buy happiness and you can't do that.
DH has said he didn't even realize how unhappy he was until they split. That life with me is a million times better. We talk, we laugh, we don't need other people around us all the time. Life is good.
"We talk, we laugh, we don't
"We talk, we laugh, we don't need other people around us all the time"
My SO has told me many times how much he loves having someone he can really talk to. We debate, we challenge each other and we make silly juvenile jokes to crack each other up.
He said he and BM never talked, they didn't laugh. When I think back to my relationship before I was with my SO it was the same way. I hardly ever laughed. I remember towards the end of the relationship thinking, "Who am I" I lost myself. I'm sure lots of people get in relationships and don't realize how unhappy they are until they are free and able to be themselves again.
WOW!!! So many similarities
WOW!!! So many similarities to my DH and Medusa.
They met while DH was in college and at a bar. He was 20. She was two years younger, a 10th grade dropout who was hanging out in a college bar in a town that was an hour away from her house. DH was/is very ambitious, and although Medusa dropped out of high school, DH says she was the most ambitious girl he ever knew. I always tell him that she must have been able to suck the chrome off a fender - lol!!!
He was a fixer and she was definitely broken. After college, they moved to MedusaTown and DH helped her start a business. They grew the business together and it became very successful. Nine years later, when all of his friends were already married, he asked her to marry him because it was the next step in the relationship. His friends tried to talk him out of it, his parents tried to talk him out of it, and ever Medusa's OWN FATHER tried to talk him out of it.
By this time, he had left his job and was running the IT side of the business and felt that he had way too much invested to walk away. He knew she was difficult, as they had broken up tons of times, but figured if he just loved her enough she would be normal. He wanted the business to succeed so that she would have something to make her feel better. Bought her everything she wanted, cars, jewelry, trips, things blah blah blah - none of it was ever enough. In fact, it only made her MORE narcissistic and MORE full of herself.
He felt stuck once the kids started showing up and was ready to just live a completely separate life in the house with Medusa because he couldn't stand not being near his kids. He went on that way for about a year -until they had an argument and she called the police and told them that he had beaten her with the butt of his gun.
He left that night after the police showed up and totally called Medusa's bluff and he never went back.
He is amazed that I take care of him, that I do his laundry, keep his house, go out of my way to do little things for him. It's really quite sad that he never knew that's what people who love each other do for each other until he reconnected with me.
They had a company together
They had a company together too. They built spec homes, she still tells everyone she's a home builder.
He did all the work, hire the subs, ordered the supplies, was on site, etc. She picked the plans and the finishings.
She would show up around 2 pm, tell the guys a closet wasn't big enough and then get angry if they wouldn't tear it out and rebuild it. She used to say if she was a man they'd listen to her.
DH said if she wasn't a bitch they'd listen to her.
He worked 12 - 16 hour days just so that he wouldn't have to see her. He'd get the kids up, feed them and get them ready for school then work till 8 come home say goodnight, put them to bed then go back to work for a couple of hours.
After they split she tried to get jobs with builders and renovators. She never made it past the 3 month mark. She would oversell her abilities. Now she's in real estate, her site talks about her 20 years as a home builder (insert face palm)
She told him that he'd never survive without her. That he wouldn't be able to use a washing machine! Had did just fine for 8 years till he moved in with me!
The thing that is so telling to me is that they lived in a small community and hung out with a group of people. None of them have anything to do with her. And she stayed in the community, for a bit. She's now moved. DH is still friends with most of them and they've welcomed me. We don't live in the community. They all love DH, he's fun and happy. People have told me how happy they are that he's found me and gotten rid of her, no one liked her. They put up with her because they liked him!
He says he knew that and that was one of the reasons he felt he had to try to up her self esteem.
OMG - DH did everything,
OMG - DH did everything, Medusa would roll into the office around noon, then lock herself in her office and smoke. She would disappear around 4. DH also worked a lot to just be away from her.
She used to say the same thing - people would listen to her if she was a man. DH would tell her that if she were nice, people would listen to her, but since she had to feel like the smartest person in the room by belittling everyone, yeah, they wouldn't listen to her. She fired every employee they ever had. DH hired them back on the spot.
DH would get the kids up, dressed, fed and ready for school because Medusa couldn't be bothered to get up before 11. He would put them on the bus and then head to work. He would leave the office when they got home from school and headed back to the office the second Medusa walked in the house.
DH and I were friends in high school, so many of his friends are either friends of mine or the younger siblings of friends of mine. ALL have said that they couldn't stand her and never understood what the attraction was.
Again, I always said that she must have been able to suck the chrome off a fender }:)
Yes, Yes, Yes. We seem to
Yes, Yes, Yes. We seem to have the same BM!
She had no friends, said that women were back stabbing bitches who were just jealous of her. And when her flirting didn't get the guys to do what she wanted, that's when the - If I was a man they'd listen to me started.
I still don't think she has any friends. She made SD her best friend and shares EVERYTHING with her. In fact I'm sure that's why SD doesn't like BMs BF. SD hears all the stuff that we share with our girlfriends about what DH does to piss us off. Then expects SD to be okay with it because BM and BF have made up. But SD is protective of BM and can't let it go.
Once DH moved out of the house the skids were late 25 out of 35 school days, most days they didn't get there till after lunch. She had to drive them because they'd missed the bus. She wouldn't get out of bed till after 11am and then have to get ready, so didn't get out of the house till 1pm!
One of the people they'd been friends with was a teacher at the school. He called DH and said if something doesn't change the school board is going to get involved.
He started calling the skids every morning to wake them up.
I am honestly amazed that those kids turned out as well as they have. I didn't meet them till they were in their late teens and DH didn't introduce them to the GF before me. BM has been crazy enough about me and my involvement in the skids lives. I can not imagine if they'd been young when we met!!!
DH and I should have gone to the same HS. I decided to go to one across town, I needed a change of people and influences. It is amazing that we never met, we have so many people in common! He knows everyone I went to JrHS with and we've discovered that we partied at the same places on many many occasions.
We met on a blind date and when we started talking it was like we'd know each other forever! My son said it's like an episode of the Twilight Zone.
I tease him that in another universe we met in HS, he dumped BM and we got married, had kids, got divorced, he went to a HS reunion met BM again and married her. That in that universe I'm the crazy BM! He says no that's not another universe, that's a total nightmare! LOL.
This picture of them is still
This picture of them is still on his facebook page. It used to bother the hell out of them that he wouldn't delete it. http://imgur.com/qOdRZAN And he has this music video on youtube where he wrote a song and he strung together a bunch of pictures of her looking very beautiful and that too used to bother the HELL out of me. But then I started really looking at the pictures and in most of them.. there is the other guy.. the one she left him for in a heck of a lot of her pictures.. and all the pictures are selfies.. very narcissitic selfies of "look at me, I'm beautiful and sultry.." None of them had pics of them together, or pictures of them raising their kids together and then that's when it clicked to me that sure you can be beautiful and sultry but if you are self absorbed narcissist cheater, ya, your marriage isn't going to last.
Every time I see her, think
Every time I see her, think about her... hear about her. Yes. WTF was he thinking??
When BioHo was 18, she was
When BioHo was 18, she was really cute. Cigarettes, alcohol, partying, junk food, 100 lb or more weight gain, and countless sexual partners later equals a 38yo who looks like she's pushing 60. 'Ho likes flashy and gaudy and thinks she rocks nylon/spandex. It is THE worst look possible and it does NOTHING for her body except emphasize the flaws. I'm no toothpick, but I don't think skintight and skimpy looks good on MOST women - especially when it usually shows every cellulite dimple.
They worked together and a bunch of them were talking at lunchtime about an upcoming work campout. DH said he wasn't going because canoeing/rafting was no fun alone. BioHo piped up that she'd do with him. She got knocked up on the campout. Lesson: Never trust a woman who claims she's on the pill AND supplies you with condoms. HOLEY condoms. He stupidly decided to move in with her (NOT marry). She was cheating on him when she was 3 mos. pregnant with SD19. He was going to leave her when, lo and behold, he got drunk, she begged him not to leave, and she got prego with PrincASS16. Darn those faulty BCPs she was taking. Uh-huh. He married her before PrincASS was born.
This isn't about DH - but a
This isn't about DH - but a couple of women I have now known for over 50 years (all in our 60s now) have aged HORRIBLY. Both were cute, cute, cute as least thru their 20s. I mean adorably cute and popular. One became a lawyer and one a nurse so both got an education and had a career.
I think the lawyer is a meth user. She has a history of drug use. Just think of all the meth face pictures you seen and she's worse. When someone sees her that has not seen her in decades (reunion) they literally gasp and cannot believe it is the same person. She is stick thin with bad teeth. We thought bulimic for years but now are pretty sure it's meth.
I just saw a picture of the nurse the other day and was shocked. She literally looks just like my 90 year old aunt - except that she's on oxygen (years of smoking) and my aunt isn't. Actually my aunt probably looks better.
Both have been single for years and years now. I am sure that their exes cringe at the thought of ever being with them.
My DH had just gotten out of
My DH had just gotten out of a several year relationship with a psycho. He hooked up with BM because she was young (like 12 years younger than him) and hot. They had a few months of fun when the "oops I'm pregnant" happened. He should have known better than to believe she was on the pill. Later, she basically admitted she had trapped him because she said she and her oldest daughter "would have had a bad Christmas" if they were on their own.