visitation this wkend--disengaging i will go!
so this will be the first time we have seen SD in over a month bc of all of BMs bs at court. needless to say i will be disengaging to the max. i just cant do it...all the drama from court and all that happened and how the situation is now is just too fresh and i really cant deal. i will be home as little as possible this wkend. i just cant be around SD rite now. i know its not her fault, i know that, but looking at her is just too painful after everything we've been thru at court, and everything we've been thru w BM. plus, not being around us for over a month, im sure her manners, or lack thereof, have gotten even worse. i just think its best to remove myself from the situation as much as possible, as least for this wkend, until i can resolve it all alittle better in my mind.
so tonite i plan on shopping, tomorrow afternoon i am going to see the Sex and the City movie!!! yay!! and tomorrow nite i may be working...i picked up 2 PT jobs so we can start saving money to get married later this yr, since it wont happen any other way now. then sunday she will go home and we are going to the baseball game. so thats my wkend...avoiding my own house...
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its such a shame.....but
i think its sounds like a good weekend
i know hwo you feel tho i try to avoid my own house at all cost when the skids are down and its frustrating when you just want to be in your own home and be able to relax. its just impossibly to relax with 3 little turds of skids at mine so i try to go to my dad and go shopping and things
but shppoing is hard with no money hahaha
so its dads for me
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
oh my BF is very upset w me
he hates when i leave when shes there, not bc he wants help w her or a babysitter, but bc he really cant stand to not be w me. but he chose to keep us in this awful situation w BM and i have to do whats best for me too. and it just hurts TOO MUCH rite now. our life was so wonderful for the month we didnt have to deal w it all and im just not ready to accept that it cant be like that anymore.
crayon, i dont know how u do it. i honestly think i wouldve left by now. and really, who cares if he gets mad? do what u want! what does he expect especially when he wont push BM for a set schedule and its every freakin wkend so u guys get zero time alone???
where do u live? anywhere near missouri??? i'll come kidnap u and we'll go get drunkie
sounds like a great oppitunity for me
tell him if he really doesnt like to be without you then he best buck up his ideas and stop this crap its not fair of him to aks this of you we dont have kids therefore we should be able to do what people without kids can like go out every weekend go shopping ectect
i think you should
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
leaving the house sometimes is our only option
to prevent us from saying the things that we really want to say to these skids and their dads and getting ourselves in a whole heap of trouble. i do it all the time and yes, DH takes it personally and is offended. but i figure it's a hell of a lot better than me sticking around to stew in the immense amount of tension in my house where all i do is cook, clean, keep my mouth shut (because i have to) and watch a 12 year old run the show. trust me DH, it's BETTER if i leave.
the problem is: disengaging is such a temporary fix isn't it? damn.
Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.
Oh I also
have to leave the house when SS comes over. But I would have to leave the house if ANY KID CAME over. Talk about done!!!!
My dh KNOWS that I am an equal opportunity child avoider. I can't stand listening to sports (loudly) on tv, or watch any highly testosterone charged movie, or watch slaptick comedy------& guess what? That is exactly what normal teenage boys like. That's why I have to get outta Dodge.
I would stick around the house to do projects but my husband has to "entertain" the boy/man 24/7 while he is with us. He'll do small chores with the man/child but never a large time consuming "project"; so I leave because I can't take on the project alone. I will clean out the garage this summer. I will hire help. The two will watch me.
I am thinking of buying the Sex in the City series & putting that on full blast all Saturday & Sunday & see if they don't want to run out of the house-----------------and avoid the estrogen. So why does a woman sound like a bitch when she does it and a man sounds "nagged" when he does this?
thats what i told him
if i stay, i will get so upset at how she behaves and i will take the whole situation out on her...not meaning to but im just so upset about all we've just been thru and how it turned out w no protection from BM and nothing to stop her crap that im just sick...so if i stay, i will just be bitchy and mean and i dont wanna be like that
Good for you!
I get along just fine with my SD15 when she is here - which is not that often but let me tell you I leave for long periods of time anyway and go do stuff with my friends or run errands or whatever. I do have dinner with them or maybe hang out for an hour or two for a movie watch tv, etc. but that is it. FH is her dad - that is why she is here to see him not me. I dare him to anything to me on that one. I cant stand SD's mother and all the crap she has pulled with us and sometimes I feel like I will wind up being bitchy to her or say something that could be reported back to the ex so I just la di da on my way and let my FH entertain. She was a little snippy a couple of hours after the first time she met me and I was like this is what we are doing end of story. I'm not trying to be anyone's mother, best friend or even a stepmother to be honest but I am who her dad chooses to be with and she better damn well respect me. If we can be cool and have a friendship and get along great. She knows I am a bigger bitch then she can ever aspire to be and her dad totally backed me up so she knows when she is here she has to fly straight. Sounds like on top of all the other crap your dealing with your FH needs to not let SD get away with any crap in your home. BTW I don't cook or clean for her while she is here either. FH makes sure she cleans her room, helps with the dishes, etc., he cooks or we eat out. AND ENJOY THE MOVIE I SAW IT TODAY AND IT ROCKED!
oh i loved the movie!!
i predicted everything that was gonna happen pretty much while i was watching but i thot it was fabulous anyway!!! just how the series shuda been capped off!
thanks to everyone for their comments too...the support here really helps me get thru so much. i luv u gals!
i do the same
sometimes when we have skids on weekends, I make plans to work or out with friends or whatever. Seems i can handle doses but a full 24 is way to much at times. Basically who cares...skids want (especially SD ) wants 100% of dad's attention 24 hours a day. SO there is no time for me. I make my own happiness. No way am i gonna get in line for attention! They can have their time together and i can have my time. We should post 100 things to do while skids are around and you need to get away or keep from killing them...lol
doglover
thats a great idea! lol! start the forum topic!!!!!!!