Fed up
My wife and I were married in 2005 met in 03. I had no children she had 3 (2 boys and 1 girl) she had also lost a child to drowning at the age of 4. That being said as far as she is concerned her children can do nothing wrong
The kids had 0 chores or discipline from the time that they were born until we met at that time the youngest was 9 the oldest 12 there has never been any discipline on her part they made huge messes and never cleaned or contributed in any way. I thought it would never happen but the oldest moved out at eighteen well let me clarify when he was eighteen my wife's job transferred her to another state the son was in the military and had just completed basic training. After a very long discussion we left him I Tennessee at our house where he had agreed to pay the bills so he could be with his unit in the national guard and his girlfriend he was making enough to cover the basic bills and had also received a 10 thousand dollars bonus for joining the national guard.
Me my wife and the 2 younger kids moved to North Carolina for the next 5 years. The first 2 years long story short we had to cover all bills including house payments for the house in Tennessee and where we lived in North Carolina because the house in Tennessee was under our name we made the payments and stayed completely broke just over 2 years into it he started paying the bills in Tennessee. He still tells all of his friends and his aunt that we left him high and dry and never helped him with anything. What an ingrate, I will never financially help him again also we had to move back to Tennessee after I got meningitis and was unable to work when we got back to Tennessee we discovered the house had been completely gutted the windows were all broken and nothing had been cleaned since we left the yard was never mowed even though I left him a new push mower and a riding mower that was in great shape. Come to find out that he sold everything that we had left for him what he couldn't sell he took and sold as scrap metal. My next post will be about the middle child. Ps I failed to mention the water heater had started leaking 3 years after we went to North Carolina and was still leaking when we moved back just over 2 years later.
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I cannot think of ANY
I cannot think of ANY eighteen year old that I would entrust my home to, and especially not a skid that I know to be a slacker halfwit. Without a track record of responsible and successful adulting, you set that brat up to fail, and let him stay in the home even after he repeatedly showed you that he couldn't hold up his end of the agreement.
I can certainly understand your anger and frustration, as my house was trashed by partying step grandkids who were supposed to have been supervised by my SD. I was angry with the eighteen & nineteen year olds, but it was the adult who was to blame. You married a crappy parent who didn't teach her son to clean or conduct himself with integrity, and that is the crux of your problem.
Don't be a victim. Pursue every legal option available to hold your horrible SS accountable, and tell your wife she can either stand with you or get out.
you have my sympathies
you have my sympathies Sir....
I have nothing to add lol, I have a bio son and he lives in my flat, it still looks the same as it did the day he took over, could be because I live next door in the main house lol..... but I pretend not to do inspection, this I do when he's not there.... couple of dirty dishes, normally the morning coffee cup and cereal bowl... his place his problem..
Then I look at skid.... living in our house.... I do not live with them I moved out, she ruined her bedroom carpet, and burned holes in the spare bedroom carpet with a bubbly.... she messed up the coach, he room is a health hazard area IMO
point being, some people teach their kids the right way and some people do not teach their children...
With the lack or respect and
With the lack or respect and discipline that her kids show and have, did you not foresee some of this coming? There would be no way in hell I would let skid live n any place that I own especially for free and especially if I lived hundreds of miles away.
In your case I would be so made at my other half that I don't know if I would be with them anymore and I would definitely would never talk to her son again or help him. Can you press charges?
As unfortunate and horrible
As unfortunate and horrible the situation was if we would have sold the house then we would have been left homeless once I got sick with meningitis. We would not even have a gutted house to live in. That is life completely unexpected you can not foresee or predict that 3 years from now you will be laying in hospital with your life changing forever at the moment you get sick. You can comment and guess and say that you would have done it different until you are struck down with a life changing illness
Belija, you are in a tough
Belija, you are in a tough spot. You are right: what's done is done. "Now" is all you have to deal with.
Threatening to leave your wife or kick her out may not be much of an option for you, in a state of fragile health.
But it does give you a good glimpse of the future. Hopefully you will recover from what you've got now but both you and your wife will one day be fragile elders -- how will this boy and his siblings treat you then when they will have such an advantage over you?
In your state of illness you may not be able to take any steps right now to fix this situation. But do please feel welcome to vent and share.
Hope you feel better soon.
My step daughter is the worst
My step daughter is the worst manipulating vindictive person I have ever met 2 years after my wife and I married sd goes to her aunt and tells her that I have been beating my wife and all 3 kids luckily the aunt came to my wife and I before calling the police. Stepdaughter is only happy when she has to do nothing but sit on her but and sleep or watch tv and this scenario played over and over until she graduated high school by the skin of her teeth. She sat on her but for 2 months doing nothing when we pressured her to get a job she refused to do anything for another 2 months she had been told by one of her friends that she could get disability easily for psychiatric problems she threw herself into the act wholeheartedly and within the next 3 months she was admitted into hospital 5 times for 8 - 12 days each time within 5 months of the first hospitalization she had been awarded disability so now 4 years later she still does not a thing but complain unless everything is her way. At this point she is over 400 pounds has convinced 1 doctor that she has to be on oxygen so march of last year oxygen bottles and machine have been installed at the house the only time that she uses it is when she has to go to that particular doctor. The practice that he runs has been dropped by her insurance so she had to go to different dr that told her there is no reason for her to be on oxygen so now she has decided that she will be a self pay patient at the original doctors office so that she can keep her disability. As I mentioned in my first post my wife lost her first born to drowning at the age of 4 and stepdaughter uses that to her full advantage with her mother. I was really thinking of leaving my wife that I love dearly during stepdaughters senior year of high school her graduation ceremony was June 2013 I got meningitis the week of her graduation she graduated on Saturday on Sunday I went into emergency room and was admitted with meningitis for the next 7 days since then I have had almost daily migraines I now walk with cane and have been fighting for disability for the last 3 years this is just a quick overview of life with stepdaughter it's hard to go into great detail about someone that I have grown to despise.
It's really a crushing
It's really a crushing depressing thought that the only thing that will relieve the anger the arguing and the flat out being pissed off every time that I have to hear or see sd is to leave my wife and in my situation I am unable to work am flat broke so I'm stuck stepdaughter is the Bain of my existence and there is no hope that she will ever be able to move out. My wife and I have zero privacy because stepdaughter is always stuck to her mother. I love my wife with all my heart but you can only put up with so much and 13 years of stepdaughters actions and attitude is enough to split up even the strongest marriage. The point being stepdaughter will probably keep up her this act until I'm dead. Because she wants all of moms attention all to herself. Considering she is almost 23 there is no light at the end of my tunnel
Stepdaughter has been home
Stepdaughter has been home everyday for the last week luckily she has decided to go to group tomorrow usually she only goes on arts and crafts day which is every other Thursday. It's the only day I ever look forward to because she is gone till 230 in the afternoon. Looks like I'm lucky tomorrow. How pathetic is that I look forward to 1 day every 2 weeks