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DH finds a surprise and it's not good

BettyRay's picture

So DH has been asking SS16 for his safe boater card. Where we live kids now have to take a boater safety class by the time they turn 16 in order to legally operate a boat or jet ski. But I digress.

We took the class with SS16 in January. When we got our cards DH gave SS16 his. I questioned it but DH's reasoning was that SS16 is old enough to keep track of it.

Well SS16 has "misplaced" it. Translation: he lost it. SS16 swears DH has it but we can't find it anywhere. As a last resort DH asked SS16 if he could search for it in SS16's room. SS16 was fine with that.

So DH is tearing apart SS16's room searching for the card. He opens the bookcase cabinet and...

The smell is horrid. DH pulls out 3 pairs of underwear full of shit. :jawdrop: :sick: :jawdrop:

Apparently SS16 has started crapping himself again. *sigh* Sad

Besides being totally grossed out I thought SS16 was past this. DH is going to talk to SS16 but I don't think it will do any good. DH is disgusted, he washed out the underwear. I would have left them for SS16 to take care of, I've done that in the past.

For any of you who doesn't know my story this has been an ongoing problem with SS16; he's been to the doctor they can't find anything physically wrong with him. See my past blogs for more info.

~BettyRay

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Holy crap. Literally.

First I think I would have thrown them out. Wondering how long they have been sitting there.

And second, I didn't go back and read your other blogs, but have they tried a pshycological dr, rather than medical?? This sounds like emotional or mental trauma.

BettyRay's picture

Yes we tried pshycological in addtion to medical. Everytime the Dr. wanted a joint sesson with SS16 and BM, BM wouldn't schedule, so DH would schedule it, BM wouldn't show up and then therapy would be stopped by BM. DH tried 5 or 6 times, same pattern everytime, he just gave up.

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

DH asked her about and BM said it hasn't happened at her house in a very long time.

overworkedmom's picture

Those would have gone in the dumpster real fast!

Sorry you are going through that again...

Jmom's picture

I would have put them into a zip lock freezer bag and saved them for him. The kid needs to be embarrassed.

Jmom's picture

Just wow. . .I have BS13 and every now and then he'll pull some stupid shit like this. I save the gross (lazy ass) stuff for him and hand him stuff when we have people over. Needless to say he's stopped.

Jmom's picture

Also, my BS13 has a bad habit of sticking snack papers in the sofa. . .I put them all in a ziplock bag and when he has friends over I pull it out and say "I found these in the sofa today". He's totally embarrassed and he no longer does it. I also throw threats about his room. "if that room ain't clean by the time I get home I'm coming in there". He played his card a couple of times and when he realized I throw away everything and I mean everything he got his act together. Girl I would leave the basics. . .bed, desk, rug, lamp, tv. . .you get the picture. Anything that was out of place got thrown away. He's a work in progress but he's learning.

BettyRay's picture

I agree with you on this. I think a little embarassment would do SS16 some good. But DH and BM don't agree with me on this. Don't want to hurt SS16's fee fees.

~BettyRay

Jmom's picture

Same thing goes for my SD13. BM and DH cover up everything because they don't want to hurt her feelings. I feel that my BS13 will be the one better prepared to live in the real world. DH even admitted last week that SD13 is so sheltered she has no streets smart and he's scared to death for her. GOOD GOD!

stormabruin's picture

That's disgusting. Next time he sits down for dinner with you, serve them to him on his plate.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

YUCK!!! We had a similar issue with SS14, but it was wetting the bed rather than crapping himself. If you took him to the doctor and nothing's wrong, and if he has no psychological issues, it could be pure laziness. SS14 wet the bed pretty much nightly. We eventually started making him HAND WASH his sheets and PJs in the tub, and that got old real fast. He did that 3 times, and hasn't wet since. Not once. Later, he admitted that it was easier to piss himself than get out of bed and walk down the hall to use the bathroom. NASTY!!!

I don't know. THis stuff is so gross to deal with. Maybe if you made him hand wash his crappy drawers, that might have an impact? It may be worth a try.

Geez, 16 and still doing that....

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

That's what he told us when we asked. Yep. This is the laziest kid ever born. I swear to God.
Nasty.

BettyRay's picture

Same approach here.

In the past DH made SS16 handwash them himself.

SS16 used to put them in the bottom of the dirty clothes bin. Which is totally gross to find when sorting laundry :sick:

DH decided that I'd put them in a bucket in SS16's room. DH would have SS16 scrub them out when SS16 would come for visitation. DH would also make him shower. This seemed to be working.

I told DH to leave them where they were and talk to SS16 when he gets here on Sunday. But that totally grossed DH out. So DH cleaned up SS16's mess which I feel was a mistake.

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

I agree. In the past when I've intervened and said something to SS16, nothing mean, just a talk about hygene and cleaning up after yourself. DH thought I was being mean, so I figured I'd step out of it.

Makes me wonder what's going to happen when he goes off to collage someday, I feel sorry for his roomate already.

~BettyRay

hismineandours's picture

Oh-brings back some memories! My ss15-no longer lives with us or visits (arent I a lucky gal)-BUT he was still wetting his pants nightly when he last lived with us about a year ago. I remember my absolute favorite was a couple of years ago when he would just visit. After every visit ended I and my children would get to play "Find the pissy pants". SS would be back at bm's and dh was active duty military living on base 2 hours from us so he too would return on sunday night. The smell would not get too bad until around Tuesday and then we'd all beceome aware of the smell of piss emanating from some area of the house. My lucky ds got to share a room with him so he was often the "winner" of this grand game, although at times ss definitely thought outside the box and would do things such as hide thme in the linen closet in the hallway (thus ensuring that all the blankets I stored in there had to be washed as he'd hid the stuff right in the middle of them)

After one visit I kept smelling the pee. I sniffed all around. High and low. Looked int he hall closet. Under ds's bed (one of his fave hiding places), and in ds's closet and dressers drawers. I just couldnt tell where it was coming from. We looked and looked. Finally that weekend, I told my ds that we were just going to have deep clean his room as the smell continued to worsen. I thought maybe I needed to clean the carpets or whatnot. SS slept on a futon when he was here. It sits quite low to the ground so I relaly didnt think there was room for anythng under there. I pulled it away from the wall in prep for cleaning the carpet and could see that somethign was caught up underneath there. So-and this is soooooo gross- I stick my hand under there to pull whatever it is out. I had stuck my hand in a pool of liquid. Went ahead and latched on to what was there and ended up pulling out ss's plastic sheet (the one that was supposed to go over his futon so he didnt ruin it but he refused to keep on there)that was sort of wadded up and in the middle of it was literally a puddle of brown urine. I am assuming it had sat for so long it had started to turn to this lovely brown shade. I gagged, choked, stumbled blindly from the room, ran outside and inhaled fresh air. immediately turned around and ran inside and sprayed bleach cleaner on my hand and rinsed with hot water. He has been telling me he had been keeping the plastic sheet on the bed, when really he had stuffed it under the futon and he was pissing through the futon onto this plastic sheet. There was literally probably 16oz of fluid there. I immediately called to dh and told him he needed to come upstairs and take care of something. I walked him back to the room, pointed to the piss, and said here, ss left you a gift-he wadded it up, threw it outside and then went inside and vomited. Upon further examination there was also a monopoly game under there was wet with piss.

The sad thing about this whole ordeal-is that dh never mentioned it to the kid. Didnt say a word about it although he actually vomited. You shouldnt have to be cleaning up a 13 year olds piss, KWIM? So I finally confronted him on it, not using the plastic sheet, how effing disgusting it was, and all he did was deny it. Sadly he did it AGAIN a year later. We gave him that room when he moved in and once again I smelled the smell and there was yet another plastic sheet wadded up under teh bed with a puddle of piss. I m not even sure how he did that one-I dont think he could have pissed through the bed, but I'm not sure how if he just peed on it he would be able to retain that much liquid in the middle of the sheet without it all sliding off. So I strongly considered that he had just wadded it up in the middle of his room, and took a piss on it and shoved it under his bed. He tried to say the dog did it.

SS15, by the way, has been to the doctor for this, ahs been tried on a couple of different medications-which would work for a bit and then stop. We tried to make him do his own laundry and he would literally refuse to do it. He would rather sit in his room all day, day after day, with a room full of pissy sheets and blankets, and towels, and whatever else he could find to piss on and cover up with then just comply and wash his own laundry-we are not talking hand wash here-we are talking about him using the washer and dryer. We apparently had a huge behavioral issue-Typcially there are 3 things control-their eating habits/their elimination habits/and their sleep. If you have a defiant kid, or a kid who just feels out of control often you will see problems in these areas because they CAN exert control. We couldnt make him not piss. He knew it and I dont think he ever bothered to try not to. He would not limit his fluids, he would not make sure he went to the bathroom before bed, he wouldnt use a plastic sheet, or clean up after himself in anyway. His response to all of it was, "I cant help it so why would I try to stop it?" When youd try, even in a nice way, to give encouraging tips on how to stay dry for the night he'd scream at you for "screaming" at him over something he couldnt help. Yeah, he was definitely a little freak.