Want to Skip the Holidays
I haven't posted in a very long time just need a little support right now.
My sister and I just moved my mom into assisted living.
I just don't feel like celebrating anything this year. And my stepsons and sister keep asking about making plans for the holidays.
The only thing I am focusing on right now is holding an estate sale and mom's house.
BettyRay
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Sorry, dealing with aging
Sorry, dealing with aging parents is so stressful and sad.
Assisted living or long term care?
Is it an assisted living situation where she goes to the dining room and can talk with others? Or is it more a long-term care situation? The reason I ask is that I felt bad when Mom went to AL but within a few months, she had a boyfriend and was going to weekly happy hour! She loved it and I wish she'd gone earlier. She's in long-term now, its a different situation now that she has dementia.
I feel for you having to deal with the estate sale and house sale. Ugh. It's a LOT of work.
Assisted Living
She has a 1 bedroom apartment with a kitchenette.
BettyRay
Is she able to socialize?
Thats similar to my Mom's arrangement. I never in my life dreamed it would happen. I started hearing about D, she was having dinner with D, she went to happy hour with D, etc. This was a conservative widow who probably never went to a happy hour in her life. She was happy!
It was a nice place. They had lots of activities. My aunt was in one and liked it, too.
Transition
I thought she would thrive in this environment - there are losts of activities - and she's social but she seems to be keeping to herself more and more.
She has a lot of health problems and there was no way she would have been able to stay alone any longer. I'm happy she's in a safe place I just wish she'd get out there and make some friends.
I offered t ogo to some of the activities with her but she wasn't interested.
~BettyRay
It is assisted living or
It is assisted living or independent living? My parents are still in their 60's but the apartment with kitchenette sounds like it is the arrangement my grandmother had. She actually really liked it there. It was very social for meals- he favorite thing ever was me bringing my kids for dinner in the main dining hall. The food was good where she was and she could show us all off. There was one resident there who played piano in the evenings, the staff was great and she was monitored so we didn't feel like she could fall again and no one find her for hours, or even a day. I hope you mom is happy there.
On another note, last year was a brutal Christmas and Thanksgiving for my family. My mom had breast cancer and couldn't be around any of us. I cooked small dishes to bring to their house and hosted the rest of our family at mine. We were facetiming her and my dad to try and make it feel like it was Christmas. When my dad came to drop of presents for the Grandkids I lost in in the driveway- ugly crying for like 30 mins.
I understand wanting to just say skip it and handle business this year. Part of me wished that was what we did last year but we were too afraid that it would be my mom's last with us.
It's Assisted Living
She has a choice of eating in the dining room or eating in her apartment.
She used to be very social but now it seems like she's growing more introverted.
She hung out with her neighbor across the hall on Christmas Eve. Elliot is a musician and he played guitar. She likes to sing so I think they had a nice time. I'm hopeful for her
I just sold her car yesterday. Her condo is still on the market.
BettyRay
It's ok to pass on holidays
It's ok to pass on holidays if you're not feeling it. Holidays can be hard.
I hope your Mom does well in assisted living. It's a big change for everyone, and being good to yourself is so important.