I forgot
So this morninig I forgot to tell SS16 & SS12 to take their lunches. I forgot to make sure SS16 had his work-shirt. I forgot to make sure SS12 had his ADD med. And what happened?
The boys left without their lunches. SS16 left his workshirt and SS12 didn't take his ADD med.
DH was pissed and I know he blames me but he kept his mouth shut.
My mom is having health problems and I'm totally distracted. She's having surgery tomorrow and getting test results this morning for something unrelated to the surgery.
But REALLY DH? REALLY?
First of all the boys are old enough to remember this shit on their own. Second it's not my responsibility - it's yours. Third if you would stop spoiling them they'd be more responsible.
Vent over.
~BettyRay
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Comments
Yes, Yes and Yes! Over the
Yes, Yes and Yes!
Over the years I found that my DH got the maddest at things that were his responsibility but he wanted me to do for him. If I accepted his anger and tried to make up, appologize, etc, then I validated his belief that I should be responsible.
Today I do not accept responsibility for anything that is not mine. I don't argue, explain, justify, or appologize. I am not mean or rude, I just refuse to take on responsiblity for stuff (X) just because he does not want to do it. My standard reponse has become "if you don't like the way I did X then perhaps it would be better if you handled it yourself". Then in the future when he tries to return the responsibility to me, I would remind him that he did not like the way I handled X and politely refuse to be drawn in to do it again. Walk away and change the subject.
BTW - at 16 my kids were getting themselves up, getting breakfast, getting what they needed for school, and making it there on time without any assistance. They also did their own laundry, made supper on rotation, and cleaned the kitchen. They also had part time jobs for spending money.
DH called and apologized. DH
DH called and apologized. DH said he was angry at the skids for forgetting everything. Translation - he's angry at himself.
I told him that he sould just let it go and not bail skids out. The skids need to face the consequences.
DH told me he's already texted them to tell them they forgot everything. Whatever.
I totally agree with you about what the skids should be doing on their own, but DH: wakes them up, makes their lunches for them the night before etc.
The only thing SS16 has going for him is that he has a part-time job and that's only because I put my foot down and refused to pay for car ins. and gas.
~BettyRay
It's like watching a train
It's like watching a train wreck. I've pulled back a lot, no one was happy especially me, I do the bare minimum now.
DH has taught the skids to be helpless - so the skids are - now DH is shocked by it.
I've learned to stay out of it, I only say something when it will impact me directly.
~BettyRay