First a little background:

1. BM is perennially late/DH is always early. BM was 10 minutes late to the 20 minute conference appt.
2. BM doesn’t check homework consistently/DH checks homework all the time.
3. BOTH BM & DH are inconsistent in correcting SS10 when it comes to respecting adults. SS10 doesn’t acknowledge adults when they acknowledge him. Example: When an adult says “hello” to SS10 he will just stare at that person without saying anything.

So SS10’s teacher tells DH & BM:

1. SS10 is inconsistent in completing his homework.
2. SS10 is unorganized.
3. SS10 needs to work on his manners. Example is that he sat in front of the teacher with his back to her during a class activity and never acknowledged her or asked if it was okay.
4. Was disappointed SS10 wasn’t at the conference with BM & DH.

DH was steamed when he got home, saying he didn’t like this teacher, she wasn’t being fair. And I quote “It was like she was calling us bad parents. SS10’s teacher should correct SS10 when he does something she doesn’t like.”

He asked me what I thought. Here’s what I told DH:

“It’s not the teacher’s responsibility to parent SS10, which is what you are suggesting she do. From my experience SS10 is disrespectful to adults. He consistently ignores adults when they acknowledge him. Both you and BM are inconsistent in correcting this behavior. I’m not saying you’re a bad parent but SS10 never learned from you & BM that this type of behavior is wrong.

SS10 has ignored you (DH) at school events and BM says nothing to him. SS10 ignores me daily when he’s with us. SS0 will not return a “Hello”, “Good Morning” or “Good Bye” but instead will turn his back to me and walk out of the room. I correct him each time; but you, DH, correct SS10 occasionally (only if I go off on DH about it). I’ve seen him do this to his grandparents as well.

The problem is that now SS10 thinks he’s entitled to act this way. Think back to all the times you thought SS10’s disrespect was cute. Those were all times when you could have stepped in and called him on it.”

And shockingly DH didn’t take it personally or defend SS10, but actually agreed with me. But IMHO it’s too late to change this behavior.

~BettyRay