I knew it-open bar for high school graduation?!
H was home this weekend, and SD14 spent the weekend with us. Sunday H takes her home...and H and BM (I was excluded) decided-guess what? Open bar for SD17's graduation.
I knew this was coming-I even blogged something about a tiara and dance-(he did not say there would be a dance, but who knows?)
But since they have to have the fine and fancy country club for graduation, they've now decided to have an open bar.
Had another job interview this morning-surely something will open up soon...even my BS thinks open bar for high school graduation is over the top and asking for trouble....
But we all know, anything for the princess!
And of course when I offered my negative opinion (after H came home from planning with BM), it was ignored.
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WOW
I'm sorry but your DH is a LOSER. Who does open bar for a graduation party? Will there be more adults than kids? What if some kids get intoxicated? What about the liability if one did and something happened when they left? You have GOT to be frickin kidding me. I am praying that something opens up for you soon!
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
It's illegal in our county
for parents to host parties where underage drinking is allowed. They are even making sure everyone knows by advertising on TV. The parents will be fined and jailed.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
I didn't get the impression
I didn't get the impression that the open bar was for the kids, but available for the adults in attendance.
It will be interesting to see how many people show up for this soiree. It would be a shame if it ended up costing $500 per person to throw a party for a girl when it sounds as though she's not very well liked by others.
Minors drinking is very illegal-so is providing alcohol for
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
minors. Just another good reason for me to stay away from this event. We all know there are parents who allow their underage kids to drink...and I would love to know who is going to "police" the bar and make sure no kid drinks, no kid sneaks a drink off the table, no "permissive" parent actually gives their kid their drink.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. H and BM, with stars in their eyes, blinding them to the reality of the folly for SD17.
Funny thing is, H doesn't even drink!
Bewitched - where do you
Bewitched - where do you live? I would be afraid if H gets sued over something happening to a minor after drinking at the party...you could be involved in the lawsuit also??
Kansas. And I'm sure if he's sued, we're sued.
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
BUT do you really think he cares? Not.
He and I will be having more discussions regarding this before it's all said and done. Everyone that I've discussed this with thus far has been in total agreement with me. If there's alcohol around, kids will find a way to get into it. And the adults are the ones responsible.
Isn't this party at a
Isn't this party at a country club? Will they serve minors?
By the way - where in KS? I'm from Topeka.
I have the same
question. if its at a country club dont they card? im not sure what the background is but if the open bar is for the adults then i dont really see the issue. Im not sure of the age range on here, but i know that when i was a senior that drinking was not something that only a few kids did. I was a 4.0 student, played sports and i did in fact drink when i was in high school. I photograph high school students now, and the schools i photograph range from poor public schools to schools that are 30k a year and they are all alike in this area, a large number of hs kids drink, some are irresponsible and some arent. I would suspect that whether you provide the alcohol or not, the kids interested in drinking are going to find a way to be intoxicated.
as far as liability, if they are serving it (the country club) they are liable for any minors drinking and getting in to trouble. Most places already include insurance for this in the price of your event, or ask if you would like to purchase it, if it in fact is not included. However, for the adults, in planning my wedding, i found that if you do provide an open bar for adults, you are responsible for the time they leave until they reach their destination that night.
OK - Trying to understand.
Trying to understand this so please bear with me. This is not meant as a slight, because I am really confused. Are you saying that kids will find a way to drink if they want so it is no big deal? That the responsibility would fall to the country club because they are the one's serving the alcohol? God forbid if anything should happen, but the country club would be liable but there is a strong possibility that the parents/hosts can be attached to said negligence.
If the party will consist of the majority adults then fine whatever, but if it is for a majority of teens and a handful of adults...NO WAY! AND another thing to consider is that maybe you were responsible and nothing happened, but it is still a bad message and example to set. Don't take offense to this post because I really am baffled or just confused, but maybe that is because my viewpoint is different.
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
...
its not that i feel its no big deal if minors drink, im just saying that it does happen, and i think a lot more than most parents realize. I was going under the assumption that there would be adults there enough to rationalize an open bar. However, in the case that there wasn't, then, no I don't think that is appropriate to have an open bar for the party, and that does look poorly on the parents. I just feel that if a minor wants to drink, they will find a way to do so, regardless if they get it from an open bar or perhaps some where before they show up. On my 21st bday my legal friends and i went bar hopping, and then returned to my house. A girl that was the sister of the guy i was seeing showed up at my house already drunk, and left when everyone was passed out and got a DUI (even though her brother had taken her keys, she found some one else's and took their car with out permission)We found out that she was going to come after us for damages for her dui, after all she didnt, but we found out that possibly she very well could have, even though we did not provide her the alcohol, and even tried to prevent her from driving.(it was my father, who's house it was, that they were going to go after) I guess it just seems that as a parent, you are pretty much stuck holding the bag no matter what. For this sm, it just seems that if her sd has friends that are up to no good, and do not have good judgment, as well as the sd, then no matter what, open bar or not, potentially there will be problems.
I am sorry, but I disagree
Yes, kids will probably drink and they do try things in their teenage years as well but I do not agree with condoning it. The bottom line is that this is illegal and they could be charged with endangering a minor. To me, this is the real issue here.
They will not intentionally serve minors, to my knowledge
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
It's not the Country Club serving them that makes this an issue. It's the kids sneaking it. How hard is it for a kid to pick up a drink left on the table by someone who went to the bathroom, or off to chat across the room? It's the drunk father in the corner being a man=pal with his son. And it's also BM with SD17. BM has let SD17 have a boy in her bedroom, alone at home, in her bed, since the girl was 15. So much for her common sense.
I had a long talk with my BS, who, trust me, if he was one of the kids at this party, would've been one of the kids sneaking drinks. And he told me things about some of his friends parents, when they were minors; some of his friends parents have the attitude that "they're going to drink anyway, so let 'em drink with us". Which leads to trouble, as H is hosting the party (with, of course, the ever wise BM).
for me i was better off
i was allowed to drink with friends at home as long as we did not go anywhere. I never got in trouble, but the majority of people who had strict parents that had a zero alcohol policy, had DUI's within the senior year, or first 2 years out of hs. My parents always told me that if i needed them to pick me up i could call them and they wouldn't be mad they just didn't want me doing something like drinking and driving. I always felt safe to call them , and they respected me for making the right decision to call, even if it wasnt a good thing that i had been drinking.
They are opening themselves up for liability
and I do not know of any reputable establishment that is going to risk losing a liquor license by serving minors. I can't believe your Dh is comfortable with serving minors. What happens if some gets into an accident after the party? Your Dh could be charged. Hopefully he will rethink this decision.
H turns a blind eye. I'm sure he doesn't think any of the kids
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
would drink. Of course, he also believed SD17 when he found a bottle in her car-that it was not hers. He also believed her when she got caught shoplifting-that it was her friends fault. He also was shocked at her video (prior blog). He simply didn't believe me when I told him about her behaviour towards me when he wasn't around. When he accidently saw a text on her phone, asking a friend to pickup her "cigs", once again when she said it was a miss spelled word, he believed it. It's great to believe your kids-till they prove you can't, which she has done over and over again.
The thing here is simple-there are kids who will behave, and kids who won't. And we cannot afford to hire a limo to take each and every kid who shows up to this party home. While I'm sure the country club has liability insurance, we do not. Most liability policies, however, will not pay if the covered party is breaking the law. And if there was an accident because a kid snuck a few drinks, anyone who would sue the country club would also sue the sponsors, if you will, of the party.
Some kids come from families like smnikki, and that's fine for those parents to make that choice in their own home; it's a different matter when it is going to be a variety of kids from a variety of homes, with H (and guilt by association, me) and BM being accountable for the behaviour and safety of each and every kid who walks thru the door.
Please tell me
that your name is not any of that paperwork! H is just setting himself up for trouble. An open bar at a high school graduation is absolutely ridiculous. Be careful and watchful.
No, my name is not on anything. I have refused to attend
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
for several reasons, I told H weeks ago I will not go. Because I asked H why my BS was not sent an invitation (you know, the bs who used to live here, and gave up his bed on Christmas so SD17 and SD14 could stay here, while he got a motel room).
Then, during the course of the conversation, H revealed to me that SD17 HATES me. Now, I for the life of me, cannot figure out why I should attend a celebration that a. my son is not good enough be extended the courtsey of an invitation and b. for someone who HATES me.
So the bar is a third reason I will not attend.