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First weekend at BF in 2 months. I had an ex parte and no visitation was order. Dad is not monitoring or give OCD BS his meds.
Judge had this go on for 2 months and at the 3rd court date dismissed my request stating he doesn't give a damn whether my son takes his meds. OK
I hired an attorney last week. BS meds were only one reason for ex parte and request for modification.
BD has been making BD11 feel really uncomfortable. Both BD and BS have reported to me and their counselor that BF puts his hand on the upper part of BD inner thigh. He pats her butt and makes comments about her boobs. So much so BD refuses to sit in the front seat with BF. She is miserable with the idea of this weekend at dads. More and more has come out. BF makes BD11 wear shorts rather then jeans. Says it's summer you wear shorts. Then puts his hand on her thigh under the shorts. Going to the movie with BF BS has told me and DH BD brings a blanket to cover her legs and has started demanding to sit next to BS away from BF. She told me she is scared of what he may do.
I have an attorney on this, counselors involved and CPS has been called. And yet still had to turn BD over to BF tonight. It is going to be a stressful weekend. Monday she sees her counselor, Tuesday I see my attorney to update him and CPS gets called for update again on Monday. Thankfully next weekend they are home. We have 2 weeks to get CPS in gear or my attorney to jump.
I know these are not huge deals, but let me tell you something is off. We can't place it and fear the worse but we do know BF has no boundaries with BD and she is creepies out. She asked me herself if she can please speak to the judge about all this. I have let her know it isn't as important that she tell mom ( me) just tell anyone. Trusted teacher, school counselor, church leader... Someone so we can protect her.
It is horrible to send your kid to the one other person who should love them as much as you do knowing something majorly wrong is going on. Like I said even if he hasn't crossed the major line, he has crossed her boundaries and don't care.
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Comments
Thank you. Thank you for
Thank you. Thank you for helping me feel like I'm not making issues out of nothing. Having been with her BF for 10 years dealing with verbal and emotional abuse (I have an RO against him) there are times I find I still question myself. I have had her tell her counselor, and she mets with him again Monday. We are doing everything we can to get her away from BF.
Thank you. It is nice to hear
Thank you. It is nice to hear someone else say it is a big deal. I've been questioning myself but trying to do everything I can to get her safe. Attorney is filing, CPS, counselors. I didn't think to have her tell every adult she comes across. I did tell her to talk to her teacher about it. Tell someone.
Stupid court issue, because it was dismissed by one judge, the attorney needed one new weekend so we could file with new information. It is hard to teach your child approiate touch and how they have the right to say no, when their own father won't respect it. It is heartbreaking having to see her there.
Whatever your beliefs, please pray for her, send positive thoughts, good wishes, whatever it is you do. She needs it.
Had one, for 2 months. Had
Had one, for 2 months. Had the wrong judge. After 2 months no visitation due to all this with BD and not supervising BS medication, judge just denied the motion. This weekend is the first time they have seen Bf since July 6th. Due to the law they had to go back once for there to be "new" information to refile and get a new judge due to the judge bein biase
This might sound lame, but
This might sound lame, but you three have brought tears to my eyes. BF has at times convinced the kids and to a degree me that there is nothing I can do. And that I'm making it out to be worse then it is. You have no idea the relief to have complete strangers understand and agree it is wrong. I wrote this out, second guessed myself, went back and added the "I know these aren't a big deal". I didn't want anyone to think I was making issues when I just really needed some support and guidance. 2 years ago DH was dropping BD off at school and she made the comment and dad fell asleep on top of me, isn't that funny??? And ran off to class. We started watching more closely after that. She no longer thinks it is funny. She came to me 6 months after that to shave her upper thighs because BF would pull the hair there and it bugged her. About 6 months ago I was going to the bathroom as she got out of the shower. I noticed she had shaved her privates. I asked her why?? She responded with well, you do. I said okay but your still young, and don't have much I shave because I can't wear a bathing suit if I don't. Then she told me well and Bro and BF made fun of it. I asked her how they even saw it. She told me BF will not let her lock the bathroom door, BS came in while she was going to the bathroom, BS saw it told BF, and they made fun of her together for hours. Made her cry. I told her how wrong they were and how she is completely normal. I told BD they are jerks, and don't ever change yourself for a jerk. Showed her how to trim but told her, she needs to not shave it. DH and I noticed at BF BS is always in the front seat. It was weird because in my house BD gets the front seat because she is the oldest. I asked her about it and she told me BF makes her uncomfortable so she told him there is more room in the back. And now she never sits up front. She broke her toe and had to sit up front, she put her brother in the middle (truck).
This stuff has been building for about 3 years. But only over the last year has BD gone from making excuses like it was a joke, to I feel uncomfortable, I don't like BF, I don't want to go over there. She cried when I told them the judge dismissed it and they had to go back. Yes, I told them court was happening they aren't stupid, they knew they weren't seeing their BF for 2 months. I just told them basic facts. I had already hired my attorney when I told them. So I let BD know I have a plan. Just wait. About a year ago, BF got BD a kitten. Her cat has been used against her. She is the odd man out at BF. Everything they do is what BF likes. Movies he likes, music he likes (I took her to her first concert at 10, it was her and her best friend and me. It was a singer she likes) BF took them this past summer BS is 9 but BF said it isn't fair BD has been to a concert not BS (BF believes in fair, I believe in earned, age appropiate, responsible levels and BD is older so she gets most things first) anyway it was to Bf favorite band BD told him I don't like them, I don't want to go, can I stay with mom? BF response you will go and you will have fun. BS turns into BFs clone over there totally different kid, likes and dislikes match BF completely. He gets home and goes back to what he really likes not what Bf tells him to like. BD is 11 has hit puberty and her likes are not BF likes. So she has no place over there. Nothing is geared to her. I don't think everything has to be about her, but every once in awhile, it should be about what she likes to do, what movie she would like to see, where she would like to eat. But if BF doesn't like it, they are not allowed.
There is a big difference between I am the adult so I choose and I don't like that place so you can never eat there with me. I don't like that music so I won't buy it, not it is inappropriate (Selena Gomez, 1 direction, Pink, Katy Perry) but BF won't buy it for her because he doesn't like it.
He took BS9, BD11 to xmen days of future past and BS and BF teased her about Logan's full butt at the beginning of the movie for the entire weekend. Comments like oh, you saw wolverines butt, you liked it didn't you??? Just BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!
Sorry that was so long, this all has been building for soooo long. Finally have an attorney, the counselor is starting to finally hear it from BD. bF used the kids. He told them and at time BD has believed and BS still has a very hard time, but BF has tried to make them believe mom (me) is going to take them away forever and they will never see him again. And they have to protect BF. BD no longer beliefs that or cares. She wants OUT!!!!!