Leaving was put on hold as DH has been sick BUT
My plan was to be gone a month ago.
Plan was put on hold when it went from a small injury at work to DH might have MS and therapist said most of DHs issues are PTSD, OCD.
DH has been depressed barely leaves bed.
His DD, fauxSD or her husband come over and he is all happy. Then right back to bed.
DH is now moving out on Monday. I'm selfish because I react as a normal person to his anger, his ignoring me. I do everything. Every once in a while he will decide to do something around the house, and damn it I better be grateful!!!! He has tried to talk to me about it all. I stopped responding after I told him how hard it is to be the one responsible for everything and his response was how as his spouse I should be helping him with his depression. I should get him out of the house. The list of his reasons (excuses) for his behavior is long!!!! Anything I say about his behavior is met with I'm not understanding Or I'm blaming him.
Anyway I know this is a good thing. There is no way even living together is good when he is never at fault for his behavior. I've been working with a therapist who has me to the point of seeing I thought I could fix all his problems. I could be there for him and he would treat me like he does fauxSD and fauxSGD. But that is my issue. He is moving in with them. He turns to fauxSD for everything. He really should stop calling her is DD and just call her his partner.
So today is it. Tomorrow I take my kids to school, go look for a job like I have been for months and I'll come back when he is gone. Therapist I've been seeing saw me and DH together. She has told me he is incapable of seeing his faults. He is stuck and emotionally very immature.
One thing she has stuck on with me is how I got myself here. I realize what I did. I try to not judge and I wonder what is wrong with me when things that didn't bug me now do. You know what I have figured out? When he became DH then I gave myself permission to "judge" because his behavior his choices affected me and my kids. I didn't become as important to him as his fauxSD and fauxSGD as I thought would happen. This has been a huge learning lesson for me.
I do love him. But only who I thought he was. Not who he is. That is why I felt I needed to be here for him. I'll I did was put myself in the path to be blamed by him.
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Just make it a clean cut. No
Just make it a clean cut. No need to have anything to do with him. As a friend of mine said "Next". Not that you need to find a "next" anytime soon - but just make sure you cut all ties with him.
My dad was depressed a lot- I
My dad was depressed a lot- I think due to his alcoholism. God rest his soul, he was very good at blaming others for it too. Finger pointing when the person to blame was him. That's what sounds like with your DH. Very hard for them to have self reflection. Like my mom ,you'll be lot happier with him out of you life.
Best of luck.
"When he became DH then I
"When he became DH then I gave myself permission to "judge" because his behavior his choices affected me and my kids. I didn't become as important to him as his fauxSD and fauxSGD as I thought would happen. This has been a huge learning lesson for me.
I do love him. But only who I thought he was. Not who he is. That is why I felt I needed to be here for him. I'll I did was put myself in the path to be blamed by him."
OH my Dog. That is almost identical to my relationship with my H. I completely understand how you're feeling.