Has anyone just avoided their house?
I am so emotionally DONE with my husband and his oldest daughter that I find myself just avoiding being home with them. The hard part is that I have my own kids 5 out of 7 nights a week - and I hate to drag them around too much.
Yesterday I brought them to a friend's house and took them to a movie, then I dropped them off at their dad's house for his Wednesday night visit. Today I will pick them up from their dad's house on my way home from work and I'm just going to bring them out to dinner. SD11 always complains about eating with them because my devil spawn are noisy and hurt her delicate princess ears. So I will treat my devil spawn to a nice relaxed dinner out with plenty of dessert 
Friday night should be interesting because BOTH our sets of kids will be with their other parent so it is supposed to be date night. But at this point, why would I go on a date with a man who doesn't discipline his own daughter but has no problem being a complete DICK to my sons? Why would I go on a date with someone who never has my back? Someone who makes excuses for his daughter's rude behavior?
At this point, I think I'm going to just go sleep over a friend's house. If he doesn't want my noisy kids around during the week, then he doesn't get a hot wife to go out with when they are gone. FUCK HIM - but not literally because he doesn't deserve that either.
Has anyone tried this method??
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I used to do this with my
I used to do this with my girls, it was easier in the summer then it is in the winter but yes I know how this feels. I now do it on the weekends my DD's are at their Dad's and SD (stb17) is home. I dump her and Daddy in each other's laps and disappear
Recently a single friend of mine gave me her key. She frequently goes to another state to visit her son on the weekends so I have open access to her house. I will be utilizing it after the 1st of the year.
Thanks for the reply Tuff
Thanks for the reply Tuff Cookie. I have genuinely TRIED to mend these fences but after repeatedly being not supported by my husband in terms of at least RECOGNIZING SD's poor behavior, I honestly don't feel very loving towards him.
Maybe some time apart from each other will give us some clarity. And if I'm being totally honest I am hoping that it gives HIM a wake up call that if he doesn't start disciplining ALL of our children equally then he will be ALONE.
Look, I am by no means saying that my sons are perfect. Far, far from it. They are noisy, they fight A LOT, they still think that burping at the dinner table is HILARIOUS and sometimes they can be real pains in the asses. But when my husband corrects their bad behavior I have his back. However, his oldest daughter is allowed to be rude, dismissive and to LIE and he claims that it didn't happen.
If you read all of my blog posts - this is my core issue. Different rules for different kids BY HIM. I have begged, pleaded, and played nice and it has gotten me NO CHANGES. I am hoping that this new tactic might make him see how friggin' SERIOUS I am.
i've avoided my own home many
i've avoided my own home many times. the most recent was back in march. sd20 had texted bd17 the day before to tell me she was coming over. yes, TELL me, not ask. and why she didn't text ME, i have no idea. i had no desire to see her. so i packed up bs4 and went to my mom's for a while. when i thought i had been gone long enough for her to have been there and left, i headed home. and passed her on the road. she wasted no time doing a U turn and following me the rest of the way home. so i didn't dodge that bullet after all.
there have been many times i've taken another street home, one where i can see my driveway from a ways away and will know if anyone is there. i only went home if the drive was empty.
what did she say after she
what did she say after she did the u turn and followed you home? what excuse did she give for leaving and then coming back?
she didn't say anything about
she didn't say anything about it except that she had been there but no one was home. i'm sure she took advantage of that time to snoop, although there is nothing downstairs that she can really find anything out from. no doubt she gave my calendar the once over like she always does when she's here.
one of the first things she asked me was if fdh and i were going to have any more kids. really caught me off guard. who the fuck asks that out of nowhere? i told her i didn't know. it was about a week later that she hemmed and hawed and didn't really say she was pregnant. i ended up telling her i knew what she was trying to say. i didn't know at the time, but obviously her reason for wanting to come over was to announce her pregnancy, but she chickened out. i don't know why whether or not we have more kids matters to her. but it always has. she wants us to have NONE. i'm surprised she was happy when i got pregnant with bs4, as she was furious a year later when i was pregnant again, and thrilled when i lost my baby. she never did tell us she was pregnant. she texted and kept saying she had something to tell us but was scared. really, you dumb bitch, scared? she was 19 and out of the house, i don't know what she thought she had to be scared of, unless it was her own conscience about not being ready.
Yes, I do this, I did this,
Yes, I do this, I did this, this week. I love my SD but past hurts come up (mostly to do with BM interfering with our family) and it gets to be too much for me to deal, so I disengage. I don't think SD realizes her mother has hurt our family. If I told her she would probably get defensive.
I do this all the time still.
I do this all the time still. And its not easy with an 8yo who just wants to go home. I even do what bi does and watch the drive and turn around if skids car is there.
Kinda sad really isnt it?