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Kinda numb

blessedwithstress's picture

Submitted by blessedwithstress on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 10:03am

Things have been going smoother since DH agreed to quit trying to force me to be excited about homecoming. Only a couple more days and it will all be behind us. Until then I've been trying to stay zen about all the hooplah leading up to it - the dress fittings, ordering flowers, the Powder Puff football game, picking up the dress... all that jazz. DH keeps sending me pics of the kids doing all these things and whatnot and I just...don't care.

pic of 'the dress'... whatever

pic of the Powder Puff game... woohoo

talk about the convertibles they're going to ride in and who is driving and how they're going to announce the winners... *yawn

I feel guilty about not caring but I suppose it's better than being angry. Guess that makes me the sh*ttiest stepmom on the planet. I'm so done getting excited for all of their stuff when all it does is put us in the poorhouse. I/we took a drastic step toward digging us out of the poorhouse, though. Worked with a financial advisor and decided that a debt consolidation loan was the right way to go. Three credit cards went into the trash and we will have a more manageable payment going forward. Also laid out a snowball plan...we could potentially be debt-free (except for the mortgage) by Dec. 2023...if we can be disciplined and hopefully avoid any major catastrophes. That's a pretty big IF, I know, but at least it's a goal to reach for (and in a lovely Excel spreadsheet that I can track our progress!)

I'm also tired of trying to pretend I care so DH doesn't get mad at me and accuse me of being a monster. If the situation were reversed and I had a second spouse feeling this way toward my littles, I would probably feel the same as DH. I'll own that. Does't mean I can flip a switch and stop feeling the way I do - especially after a decade of living my life holding the skids up on a pedestal while I kneel in the mud. 

Guess that's the end of my pity party for today. Just needed to get it out. 

Comments

SammieJ's picture

Submitted by SammieJ on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 10:27am

I get it. I feel the same with my DH and my SKids. You are not horrible at all.

Thats why I have 3 accounts. My check goes in my account in my name. His check goes in our account in our names and we each transfer x amount per paycheck to the account I use to pay bills. He knows that account is off limits. I dont pay anything for my skids out of MY account. He will thank me when we retire.

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 11:42am

All these activities, especially if they’ve been such ungrateful, selfish and disrespectful people. 

I told hubby that his disney parenting and feeling guilty about the divorce and that he married the exwife so he allows his kids to walk all over him, manipulate him and tell him he must pay child support indefinitely and ven as graduate adults with a post university job is insane when our 2 kids won’t have that same privilege 

my husband decides to work several more years under the pretense of its savings for our toddlers whilst i finished my degree overseas and our kids start schooling in my country, but reality was it was the uptimatum from sd23.5 telling daddy he needed to continue the ATM indefinitely.

so now my hubby who has worked his arse off into good retirement savings that he can and should retire early is now guilted into working out of sd23.5 and ss21 laziness and failure to launch or be independent.

i told hubby i would not be a single mum whilst married to him with 2 toddlers purely because adult skids are effin lazy idiots... 

my hubby knows better than to message me shit about skids. So ss got a b grade at uni, woopdidoo.... he has his college fees fully paid off and allowance from daddy so that is easy, all he has to do is study.

know whats amazing? A mum of 2 toddlers managing to run a household, study fulltime for her university degree whilst sick or having sick kids whilst ex wife has sat on her arse the past 25.5 years milking and screwing men for money..

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 12:06pm

Hey, it's not YOUR kid. Why on earth should you feel all excited about the hoopla surrounding HIS kid??

Ignore and delete the texts. If your DH requires a response, give him a lukewarm "that's nice, dear" and change the subject.

This time next week, the "excitement" will be behind you. {{hugs}}