Another offshoot to the SD car insurance saga…

SD17 had a job. SD17 had a reaction to something in the environment and Dr wouldn’t clear her to go back to that job until they figured out what it was. This was back at the end of the school year. SD17 hasn’t seen an allergist and has been ‘surviving’ by babysitting throughout the summer. Well here we are within spitting distance of the school year starting and SD still hasn’t found a real job. I casually asked her the other day how the hunt was going. Here’s how that went…

Me:        Dad says you might have a lead on a job?

SD:         (makes confused face) Um, no?

Me:        Oh, maybe I misunderstood him. Have you been looking or have you put in applications anywhere?

SD:         I was thinking of applying to XYZ place but they don’t even pay minimum wage. It’s just a training wage since I’m under 18. So I’m not going to apply there. I was thinking of applying to ABC place.

Me:        Well money is money. You should apply to both. The more apps you have out there the better. You need a job.

SD:         Yeah, well...(trails off, makes face and grumbles implying that XYZ place is not worth her time because it only pays like $7/hr)

The thing to understand about XYZ place is that they are actively looking for HS age kids. They work around school schedules. This girl is willingly turning away from an opportunity to MAKE MONEY. At this point I am just baffled. BM and DH aren’t being pushy about the job issue. BM of course doesn’t give a sh*t. Why should she when she can bleed DH dry? And DH…I don’t know if he’s just got too many other things on his mind or if he seriously thinks we as parents should have to foot the bill for all her car expenses because ‘she’s just a kid’. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case. He’s all about ‘let them be kids’ and sh*t. Yeah, well they’re going to be legal adults in 1-2 years so best teach them some f*king responsibility NOW before they get smacked in the face with real life. I am NOT going to support a freeloader for the rest of my life. No effing way.

If she were MY kid – she would have been out looking for a job the second she lost the other one. There would have been a steep decline in the number of frivolous trips and spending on her part. And zero gas allowance from the Bank of SM & Dad. That car could stay parked in the driveway unless she had an interview. There are times when parents do need to bear burdens for their kids because the kids aren’t ready for the responsibility, but this isn’t one of them. Like I said in my last post – I was PRIVILEGED to have a car at the age of 16. I didn’t pay insurance but I paid for every drop of my own gas, every car payment, oil changes, and also shared the cost of maintenance (my parents helped but I still paid for as much as I could). And the brief periods when I was in between jobs? I stayed home and pinched my pennies because I knew I had to make my gas last until I could make more money! Seriously, I think SD17 is under the impression that if she can’t afford it BM and Dad will just pay for it.   

I feel like I should include a disclaimer of sorts. SD is a good kid. She gets straight As. She’s not mouthy or a trouble-maker. She has good friends. Doesn’t give in to peer pressure (that we know of). She’s generally driven to succeed…at least when it comes to school work.

Outside of school she’s a bit of a slug. Her room is a sty (probably picking up habits from BM). She frequently comes home and goes straight to her room where she gets under the covers and lays there playing on her phone until dinner time, after which she goes right back to her room and continues. I’ve recently noticed that it takes some prodding to get her to do her chores. All we ask is that she keep her room clean and scoop cat litter. I’ve had to do it for her several times in the last month because she a) forgets or b) is too busy hanging out with her friends and isn’t home long enough to do it. I also noticed that the last time she said she scooped litter, it looked like all she did was dump 3 inches of fresh litter on top of whatever was in the box already.

I’m so fed up with supporting someone who says they’re grateful but gives the impression that they are totally taking what they have for granted.