Can she really do this?
I am hoping that venting this may result in some peace of mind or at least get it off my chest so I can try to enjoy my week off work with my BD6, so here goes...
SD8 came home from BM last night and was telling her dad that her mom and her mom's BF "told" her that they were moving out of the cities about an hour and a half away and that she was going to be living with them and going to school out there and only seeing her dad on weekends. Dafuq???!!! I can't wrap my head around this one. SO is the custodial parent and has SD8 about 70% of the time, he pays for her lunches, medical care, and child care so HE can work, and supports her 100% without getting a penny from BM. This is also coming from the woman who walked out on her family on Mother's Day (nonetheless) of 2008, willingly gave up most of her rights to SD in the divorce agreement, and has not contributed a thing aside from drama. And now she thinks that because they might be getting a house and moving she has the right to change the custody agreement after almost 4 years? I am so confused as to how she even thinks that could happen, but also scared because of what COULD possibly happen (worrier+devil's advocate=VERY anxious!) I mean, yes, SD8 bugs the crap out of me and is annoying and gross, but I don't hate her enough to want her to go live with lazy ass BM and be subject to her neglect, or to end up paying her lazy ass money to do nothing but spread her legs and pop out kids to put on welfare. But, in order for ANYTHING to even happen she needs to get that house, because as of now, when SD is at her apartment, it is not even legal for her to be there. She has a 2 br apt, and there are already 4 people living there; BM, her BF, and their 2 kids, with SD they are over occupancy and it is breaking fire code. Ugh, I am a mess right now.
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I agree. Last night I looked
I agree. Last night I looked up the paperwork that needs to be filed in order to ask the court to change custody and there are several places where it asks "how" and "why" a custody change is in the best interests on the child, and several places where it asks about child protection, abuse, ...etc. I don't think she could even fill out the form well enough to not be the laughingstock of the courthouse. But, I do highly doubt she has told the truth about her situation to everyone else, and there are probably others telling her that she can, as well as her BF's daddy "Norm", a.k.a "sugar daddy" could be helping her out with regards to putting a payment on a house for them, giving them a loan, or possibly hiring a lawyer for her (eek!), or she may even try to bring her case to legal aid. Not that doing so would get her what she wants, but it might make her look more credible than she is. As of right now, I have started a file named "white trash" on my computer, and included the photo from facebook of her BF holding her toddler daughter on his lap next to a full ashtray with a lit cigarette in it. It's on as far as I am concerned. And telling a small child that she is going to be moving with no real plans or even discussing it with her father is plain BS. Smh...
Oh, yeah, people can do FAR
Oh, yeah, people can do FAR worse things beside smoke indoors with 3 small children, but it does not make them look better than us. The only reasons I can see BM wanting to do this is that a.) They are moving and with her never working and her BF changing jobs all the time, she won't be able to afford to drive down here to see SD. b.)She wants to use SO as a source of income and this was the easiest way she could think to get some fast cash, because in her mind they will just rewrite the court order for her and order SO to pay her loads of money. Aside the fact that she is insanely jealous of the "stuff" we have, ie; we bought a house last year and we have 2 vehicles (they are both 10+ years old bought with cash), and a few other misc. things we WORKED for, so she thinks we are loaded. Oh, to have a 2 income household to be able to afford a $100,000 house AND a 1996 van AND '02 car, we are SOOOOO wealthy.
it says dad gets her sun
it says dad gets her sun night-friday night every week and BM gets the rest of the time. I'm bad with fractions, but saying 70% is easier and shorter.
Courts require a "material
Courts require a "material change in circumstances" that would necessitate a change in custody. This is usually defined, in laymen's terms, as something that had it been in existence at the time of the original decree, or had the court known abou it at that time, the ruling on custody would be different. It's a hard standard to meet. Usually it requires some showing that the current custodial parent is no longer fit to be a parent. It's not enough to show your situation is better, you also have to show that the situation on the other side has changed enough that the court would have ruled differently. I hope that makes sense.
Well, the court really didn't
Well, the court really didn't even decide or deliberate about the custody order, they agreed to everything that was in the divorce decree amicably, if that makes any difference. She had every right to raise a stink before the ink dried on the papers, and apparently she had 6 months after the papers were signed to challenge anything that they had previously agreed to, but she didn't. There has not been any change in our ability to provide for SD, or any involvement with child protection, or any abuse allegations (yet), BM just has these entitlement issues that make her think that she should get everything her way. And ok, so she and BF are supposedly moving out of town 1.5 hours away, that is their decision to make. Just because they want to relocate does not mean that she has the right to turn everyone else's world upside down.