Can you stop trying to be part of my life?
Well I knew I would be back on here at some point this weekend. Last night was the benefit for BM and I grudgingly agreed to go to show my support. It was a pretty drama-free evening, except she did tell me she wanted to get everyone together for breakfast the next day and she would talk to my fiance's mom. I was like whatever. I assumed it would just be breakfast with her and her boyfriend, my fiance's son, and my fiance's family (and him of course). So we get to Ihop and what do we find out, but her parents were also invited to breakfast. So I spent a hungover morning feeling even more awkward than usual because I had to spend time her family and my fiance's family (who have made it clear they would prefer he was still with her than me). Last night she went into her spiel about how she wants to be friends especially where I was going to be her son's stepmom. And then she does this. It's bad enough that she wanted to go out to breakfast with his family and us. Its even worse when she invites her family. I think she does it just to piss me off. I mean what kind of a sane person would think that anyone would feel comfortable in that situation? I'm sure her boyfriend felt the same way. I just feel like I don't have my own life, I have to share everything with her. I wish she would get support from her own family and her boyfriend's family and not my fiance's. I wish she would stop trying to act like we can all be best friends and then turn around and either say/do something hurtful to my fiance or to me. Is it too much to ask that she just lives her own life?
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Why is everyone going along
Why is everyone going along with what she decides to do? Why did you and fiance go to the Benefit? You were setup at the breakfast. That was a show for Fiance's parents and her parents to show what a great person she is!! :sick: What she is trying to do is show she is better than you. Hoping to get a rise out of you. Obviously, she runs the show, including fiance's parents, to do what she wants.
My advise to you is to sit you fiance down and explain this concept to him - Boundaries! There are certain areas where BM does not belong. If boundaries are not set now, things will get worse later. Start asking who will be going to events, etc. Then decide if you will go.
What does your fiance say about her behavior ? He knows her better than you. Find out what kind of person you are dealing with...
I understand she might have
I understand she might have done some things to you...I don't know the details...I understand his family prefers her...I understand it was not confortable for you...i can't imagine it was for most people there...but, she was diagnosed with cancer. You could end up being a fulltime smom. You don't have your own kids? Can you imagine being diagnosed with cancer and not knowing if you'll see your kids grow up? Can you imagine wanting to make amends and get to know the woman who will be there for your kids when you are no longer around? Can you imagine wanting your parents to always be a part of your kid's life, therefore attempting to get them to get to know the woman who might be with your kids 24/7, in the hopea that your ex, his new wife and parents can have a decent relationship so that both your kids and parents continúe a relationship once you are gone? Think about this. It will bring peace to you and your marriage. And when you have your own kids, you will understand...and be happy with yourself for changing your views.
Oh crap! I didn't know she
Oh crap! I didn't know she was diagnosed with cancer !!! :O That changes everything! I retract my previous post!!
For the record, I am not a heartles, soul-less SM
BTW, I could never stand my
BTW, I could never stand my dad's mother...to this day I resent all the problems she causes between my parents, how badly she treated me as well just because she hated my mother...when she died, I didn't she's a single tear, but my father was heartbroken...I took off work and flew out of the country to her funeral in support of my father...and ONLY because of him. Sometimes we have to suck it up and do the right thing, no matter how much I disliked and resented her.
Nobody will tell you to forgive and forget, just be the bigger person in such delicate circumstances and yes, you will prove them all wrong about the way they view you.