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SD 20 made other plans on the night we're celebrating xmas

bronx mom's picture

Xmas has always been a big deal to my dh, as this was one time when he always had the kids. I always busted my ass making a "magical" xmas morning because that's what my parents did and what I wanted to do for my kids and so wanted it equal for all the kids... it was really my problem. Anyway my stepdaughter, now in college, tended to leave many of the gifts behind and last year left everything behind.

This year, she is going to her mom's on the 24th, but just told her dad she made plans to drive with a friend to Boston right after finals and is flying from Boston to her mom's. He is really hurt by it. I feel like someone should say something to her.

He made plans to have her for dinner one night next week, and this morning I told him I have to work late that evening.

Now he's double-hurt. I feel bad, but it's just so awkward. And the truth is, I'm angry at her.

Comments

bronx mom's picture

but would I be wrong to just be gone on the night she exchanges gifts with her dad? I'm pretty sure this is what she wants anyway

StepKat's picture

You can’t change how your SD is acting, nor do I think you should say anything to her. Just being there for your DH by showing him that you love him and that you’re sorry this happened.

Merry's picture

You DH has got to recognize that his D is a grownup, leading her own life, and no longer a little girl who needs magic on Christmas. I hope he will come to be proud of that rather than spend the rest of his life missing his "little girl." That is unhealthy for both of then.

You can't help it when you need to work late. Another lesson in being a grownup. It's silly for him to be hurt.

bronx mom's picture

well, to be clear, it's not that she needs "magic" on xmas but they made plans to have dinner on the 21st and she forgot and made other plans.

Anon2009's picture

"This year, she is going to her mom's on the 24th, but just told her dad she made plans to drive with a friend to Boston right after finals and is flying from Boston to her mom's. He is really hurt by it."

I agree with tog. I can see why your DH is hurt but the reality is that she's an adult and wants to spend time with her friends.