Bm in the picture..

I have been in a relationship with my husband for 10 plus years we have two kids together and he has three kids 2 young adults and 1 teen with the BM

They have recently moved back in town the BM has still never been in a relationship since the divorce. My husband's family told me when they were moving back that this was happening I let them know that I was unsure of this and didn't really know how to feel about it, as I knew for a fact that the BM did not like me whatsoever his family was telling me that everything was okay she accepts our relationship and everything will be fine they literally told me that they didn't like or care for the baby mama it was all about the grandkids having them close.

once they move back I noticed more distance with his family towards me and my family when we would have family gatherings which were a birthday or holiday the bm would ignore me and would leave if I was in the same room when I would mention this to my husband family all they would say is just ignore her. I would find out that they would all get together in their group and go paces have drinks etc and I was never asked or even told which that felt a little hurtful for me i am the wife now . My husband also can't stand the fact how his family is very loyal and close to his bm so close that they pick her over him.

As for the kids they all get along great and love each other deeply and have a very strong relationship with each other. BUT they always want my children to go over and hang out ALWAYS at their house if I ever say "no" not today the sc get very nasty and ask to demand to know why? it got to the point where they were telling my oldest that I can't keep them from seeing each other which were never my intentions I would always ask my kids like well why don't they come over here anymore? And I just hate putting my kids in the middle anytime when my kids ask to hang out witH them the step kids say no and they never give my kid a reason why.. as they were so pushy to us I just feel sometimes they bully my kids and manipulate them to do what they want.

my husband loves the fact that his kids are very close together and that means a lot to him as for me to because the bm for years did not accept us and definitely did not accept my kids for the longest time. But anytime we don't go to a gathering or we choose not to do something all the fingers get point to me I'm the reason why. I feel no support with his family whatsoever. Iam at my ends of this dilemma..

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Why is your husband's ex

Why is your husband's ex going to his family's gatherings?

Bm still in the picture

She is included in everything. My in law said that she is still family because she is the mother of the kids? I really dont know why but I feel that they love her more and really dont like me? I feel his family is two faced they would talk so much shit about her and how she would parent her kids and now look at them now I feel betrayed and maybe never really liked. To be honest my in law would and has never done anything with my kids but when it comes to the ex kids she will go beyond for them and defend them always.

First off the BM doesn't have

First off the BM doesn't have to ACCEPT a damn thing. She is irrelevant and if your H's family wants to entertain her by all means let them but if I were you I'd draw some boundaries and keep my distance from them. They talk about BM but whisper bullshit when you're not around, what type of family is that? Personally I wouldn't go to anything that she attends. Your H needs to talk to his family about the lack of disrespect you're getting and stand up for you.

Thank you! And that's exactly

Thank you! And that's exactly how I feel about it! And have stated it. But H family trys to make me feel that my feelings are crazy and wrong and jealous? and say they love us both and dont want to get involved and in the middle of it. and want us all to be civil? once we bring anything up negative that the BM does they act shocked and surprised and try to manipulate the situation and it's for the kids Me and my husband both agree that were done and wont attend anything do to the fact that she is always invited and attends. Now the only thing that my husband suggested was that we drop our children to the family events and him & I just not attend I dont like the idea I feel were are a hole ( family) and we should stick together and we can arrange for the kids to get together just not to the family events?