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SKIDS invited us to Easter...do we go?

CandyLou's picture

Submitted by CandyLou on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:21pm

SO came home last night from dinner with adult skids and said he asked them to do something over Easter. He suggested we go up there and they said yes for this Sunday. I feel sick about it. I was really clear with SO that I didn't want to go up there on their turf and he said "I just thought there would be a better chance of them saying yes if we went up there" and I'm thinking "well I don't want to beg people to spend time with me!" but the other issue is that I am carrying a lot of pain still about what happened at Christmas and I honestly don't know if I can face them. I can cry just thinking about it.

What do I do? How do I just go up there and pretend everything is okay when I am hurting so much about everything that has gone on? I am not good at putting on a fake smile and asking them about their life. Do I just sit there quietly?

SO is trying so hard. He said we won't go if I don't feel comfortable, so no pressure from him.

Thoughts anyone??

Comments

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 5:31pm

CandyLou until your SO understands that his kids don't want anything to do with you and he has to be a united front with you - it will never work he needs to make up his mind that being happy and being in a relationship is more important than giving into those twits attitudes - so you need to start thinking about yourself and if this is what you want - it sounds as if SO is thinking about you and tell him HELL NO you don't want to go to Easter - ask him why you would want to go somewhere that makes you cry just thinking about it - put it out on the table and if he still does not get it then I am afraid you might need to move on and find a man who wants to be in a relationship and be happy with his partner and understand that he has taken care of his children and now that they are adults it is time for him to live his own life.

Good luck Sweetie and I advise you don't go!!!!

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:28pm

There is no reason for you to go and be uncomfortable. You have no obligation to them. Shame on SO for ignoring what you said.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:24pm

I have some in laws I have tried and tried with, but finally I put my foot down, and I don't go, if they are there. Everyone tried to make me feel bad but I have gotten along with them,the best I ever will, when I don' t see them.!! And we are no longer threatened and conned and abused by them like everyone else is. Ha ha-!!

You don't have to go - don't!! The day I stayed home is when I started enjoying my holidays again!! Take yours back too!!!

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Submitted by Eyes Wide Open on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 8:55pm

I'm in the same boat you are and it took me awhile to realize that I can say "NO" to these things. I do not wish to be there. These are not my people. I would rather be at a movie by myself than with the adult skids. You, too, can say "NO". Do it and don't look back.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 8:26am

My thought is that he demand an apology and if they give you one than you can have Easter at your house. That way he can throw them out if they misbehave again. If you do not do something with them, then they will say they tried and you wouldn't.

But, there is no way I would do this on their turf. You control it better on yours.

He needs to call them out on their behavior and demand some type of apology for everyone to move on.