I am new!
Hi Ya'll, I am new here and want to start blogging about my life. I have a 14 year old stepson and two children of my own. We have my stepson every other week. After we got married last year, me and my kids moved into my husband's house. This was the house that he used to share with his ex-wife. Since it is a three bedroom, we made my daughter who is 10 years old have her own room while my my stepson shares with my 7 year old son. This has created many problems for us. My stepson bullies my son all the time. He is always angry that we married without telling him. We did not tell him because his mother would have created some drama like she always does. But my stepson always brings up how we included my children and not him, and how he hates all of us. My stepson is the "golden child" in the family. Everyone thinks he is the greatest thing ever. But at home he makes us all tense and walk on egg shells. My stepson was a product of my husband's ex-wife last desparate try at keeping him. It boils me up because this boy should not have even been born. My husband trys being strict with him but just rolls over in the end. He makes my life unhappy. Any advice?
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Comments
I think your SS has every
I think your SS has every reason to be resentful that he was not included in your wedding, when your children were. I can also sympathize that he has probably had is own room for the past 14 years and now is resentful that he has to share a room with a 7 year old. I was an only child until my mother got re-married when I was 10 and I suddenly had to share a room with a 5 year old and I can tell you I hated every minute of it.
Honestly, I feel sorry for the kid. Not his fault that his BM is a freek and would have created drama... Would you not have been upset if your DH wanted to include SS but NOT your kids because of some possible drama that your ex may have caused?
Trust me, I have two skids.. both were products of psycho ex girlfriends who were looking to trap DH so I can totally sympathize with you there, but I think you need to do some damage control in regards to this whole wedding thing. IMHO this is what has spurned the majority of his resentment for all of you and yes, he needs to build a bridge and get over it, but I think you need to provide a little assistance there.
We did not have a choice
We did not have a choice unless we wanted my husband's ex-wife to come crash the wedding and create a scene. We did not think it would be such a big deal for him. Of course now we regret it. But we can't recreate our wedding to appease this kid. I have been nothing but nice to him from day one and he is just bitter and angry all the time.
I cannot even begin how to
I cannot even begin how to explain to him that he could not come because of his mother. I can just imagine the world ending. Heaven forbid we say anything even remotely negative about his mother. It will get back to her and we can prepare for WW3. We tried explaining to him it was visitation and he said, you could not put in the WEEK I am here. We could not talk our way out of that one.
That was exactly what we were
That was exactly what we were afraid my stepson's mother would do.