You are here

Those RED FLAGS....

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 11:41am

Did ya see them at the time? Hinsight being 20/20, do you look back and see them now?
Especially to the SP's that have done this more than once, did you see the red flags?

Those red flags with skids, or BM or even DH, that said "whoa! Think about it." Or the red flag that made you say "i dont believe it.."

What was your "red flags" that you saw or didnt see but see now?

Comments

broken hearted's picture

Submitted by broken hearted on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 11:59am

hahaha, toooo many to write!

I saw them, my gut told me too! But love would conquer all! I was wrong! but you live and you learn! Mistakes are worth NOTHING if nothing is learned from them!

Carley's picture

Submitted by Carley on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 11:59am

yes

stepmonster_2011's picture

Submitted by stepmonster_2011 on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:12pm

You know what? I saw the flags - and I KNOWINGLY continued with the relationship.

My friend who introduced me to DH told me how screwed up his kid is/was... Her daughters went to school with him - they gave the real deal info on how rotten his behavior was.

And I will admit - I had a bit of a parenting ego/Superhero thing going on - "he needs structure" "he needs balance with a mother-figure" "I can do that for him!!!!!"

Blech.

I have opened my eyes to reality - yes he now has structure and rules - but he is who and what he is because he CHOOSES to be an ass. He's had opportunities to make changes and he continues to make the same bad choices. So I've disengaged.

I can survive this way for a few reasons - 1. My husband gets it - his kid, his problem. He knows I'm there to support him and what he wants - but DH is responsible for managing the boy 2. I travel a lot for work so I am not HERE for many of his craptastic antics. and 3. He's only here for another 2 years - then he's out.

I don't regret marrying my husband. He and I are really really good together. And it makes me happy every day to be with him.

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 12:18pm

Stepmonter, you emphasized the correct word...... CHOOSES!

it is all about choices.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Sat, 01/21/2012 - 1:37pm

My first red flag was when I realized there were two BMs...during the first month or so that DH and I dated I just naively assumed both kids had the same mom. I remember vividly the night, place, conversation, and exact moment when I realized that there were two evil bitches. I remember when I asked DH, the look of embarassment on his face and he was like "oh, I thought you knew that?" Soooo I felt bad for him and let it go.....if I''d only known what I was in for......