Big Updates SS13 and Exciting News

SS13 is riding the spring break cruise high, as he has been SUPER talkative and engaged with us on our twice weekly phone calls since he went home last weekend. Clearly the cruise for spring break had a positive impact on SS. We are happy to see him so much more engaged with us.

This time of year is typically my most dreaded time of year as we await BM's notification of summer visitation dates. As a reminder, our CO gives DH 4 weeks total (typically in 2 two weeks blocks) and gives BM full discretion of dates/time blocks due to sport obligations. BM isn't legally obligated to provide dates until the end of May (1 week before the first visit is supposed to occur). I hate this stipulation as it creates chaos, stress, and unnecessary conflict because BM is in control and typically leaves us scrambling to arrange vacations, PTO, and things for SS to do. Anyway, SS' coach sent an email last week, providing the football schedule, which has no scheduling conflicts aside from Memorial Day weekend. DH decided to email BM a proposed schedule for summer, giving us a 1 week and 3 week stint, similar to last year. BM emailed DH back and said BM and GF's work schedules with work trips won't support his proposed schedule, giving them a week in the middle... and she offered DH the full 4 weeks consecutively, starting the day after Memorial Day and ending the third week in June. DH and I are thrilled. We have been begging for 4 consecutive weeks for years. Its unfortunate it took 13 years to get this much consecutive time with SS, but we are just grateful it's happening.

In other news, DH and I found out that we are expecting Baby #2. We found out just before our cruise with SS. I am still early (6 weeks) and tentatively due in early December. I have been struggling with significant morning sickness and exhaustion, but I'm pushing through. We plan to tell SS this summer when he visits, pending no issues with the pregnancy, and we are actively working to clean out our basement so we can finish it and create a space for him. We are very excited about this addition to our family and for DD3 to have a full-time sibling she can grow up with.

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What great news!

What great news! I know you didn't plan it, but in this case BM turning down your idea actually worked to your favor, for once! I bet a longer visitation will work to your advantage, especially if you can figure out ways to limit contact with BM and GF to only what is absolutely necessary to comply with the court order.

Congrats on the new baby. I can't believe that DD is already 3!

DH already told me that he

DH already told me that he will be limiting SS' cell phone usage while he is here. I don't know that I can handle 4 weeks straight if BM and GF are up SS' butt 24/7 via text.

I am really happy for the way

I am really happy for the way things are going for you! Might I suggest you leave a few details for SS to decide about his new space? Can you discuss themes and colours with him? Or, if not, could he add his personal touch afterwards?

I'm not surprised he was thrilled with his vacation with you - you're the only people who have ever kept their word about vacaction.

You go girl!

Thank you!

Our basement will be pretty open concept, so we are planning to build SS a murphy bed and a closet instead of a formal bedroom, that way we can still utilize the space when he isn't here. He will have privacy since there is a door at the top of the stairs, separating the basement from the rest of the house. He will also have his own bathroom downstairs and the basement will have a full bar with a microwave and mini fridge, and a living area with couch and TV. Since the basement will be multi-functional, we decided that SS can pick new bedding, some decor, and decor/towels/curtain for the bathroom, but paint, flooring, etc. will need to be coordinated to ensure it all matches since it's so open.

That sounds awesome!

When can I move in?

Surprise... It is a bouncing 61yo baby boy!

Congratulations on all of the incredible news and blessings for your family.

Take care of you and feel better soon.

Congrats... I'm guessing

Congrats... I'm guessing though.. that the only reason you got the 4 weeks is she thought you had reason to WANT it split into two visits.. lol.. (oooohhh don't throw me in the briar patch... )

I thought that too. Maybe by

I thought that too. I know that BM only makes decisions that benefit her and I know this is no different. Maybe by us telling BM we had plans (which we don't) and offering the schedule we proposed, she thought she would screw with us. Oh well, it worked in our favor.

I think we got 4 weeks because BM needs a babysitter while she and GF are out of town for work and she doesn't want visitation to take up too much of her summer since football starts in July. With this arrangement, she gets a full 4 weeks prior to football. She wants some of summer too. Plus, I think with DH standing firm on maintaining his 4 weeks and not eliminating weeks in the summer, she is realizing she may have to make it consecutive to fit it all in with sports once SS hits high school.