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Authority over skids

CBCharlotte's picture

Submitted by CBCharlotte on Thu, 08/13/2015 - 7:09am

I seem to have the reverse problem of many on here. My stepsons (5stb6 and 4) seem to view me as the one with authority when with us. I'm the one they ask for permission for anything, for snacks, for help, etc. I keep reminding them Daddy can help as well, but they always want me. I think because in their house, BM is boss and stepdad is second, so they just view the woman as the boss? I don't know. They are sweet boys but sometimes drive me crazy! Go wake up your dad if you want breakfast, not me! Just a mini rant for today.

Comments

CBCharlotte's picture

Submitted by CBCharlotte on Thu, 08/13/2015 - 8:30am

I have 4 SKs.....2 SDs (15 and 12) who live in my town in NC, and 2 SSs (5stb6 and 4) who live in Texas far away. We normally go to see them once a month, but they stay with us for an extended period in the summer, and at the holidays.

We are much more involved with SDs due to the fact that they only live 20 mins away. Plus they are older and girls so me and them have a lot in common!

Boys are a whole different animal!!! LOL

silversong's picture

Submitted by silversong on Thu, 08/13/2015 - 8:06am

SS7 definitely views me as the one with ultimate authority in the house. Sometimes, even if DH says that SS can have a snack, he will come and confirm with me first. I just go along with it but it can be exhausting.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 08/13/2015 - 11:53am

Oh, I have this issue. But it happens when SS is at BM's too. SS will text and ask my permission to do things. Last one I got was "can my mom bleach my hair?". Happens all the time. Then when BM is mad she blames me of trying to "control" him. I just tell her "I don't control him, for whatever reason he comes to me for things. Apparently he trusts my opinion".

Glassslipper's picture

Submitted by Glassslipper on Fri, 08/14/2015 - 12:22pm

Same in my house, my kids and skids walk right past Dad and come strait to me, I am the permission granter and the provider.
SD says "sometimes its just easier to do things with you because your a girl" ie: can you take me clothes shopping or I need bras ect.
I will sometimes redirect to Dad sometimes, I will always redirect to dad for the "NO!"
Like when SD wanted a guinea pig. She asked me if she could have a guinea pig for her birthday I told her "Dad would be the one who would know more about that than me."
lol