As you all know from recent posts, my emotions today have been on a roller coaster. Well, I went down to get my mail, and there was a letter from skids for us. I was surprised, they don't usually write. I opened the letters, there were 2 inside, one from SD, it was a cute , happy note. Just her style and one from SS, thats the one that got me! He wrote a part directly to me, saying how much he misses me, loves me, and misses how we laughed, and had good times, when he lived w/ us. He even wrote he misses my cooking ( i am italian, and by family law, cook really good.) I did not realize the impact I had on him. Believe me, I tried like h---, to be there for him, as his mother was to busy being a "hater" to care about him, or anyone els. I treated him with the love and respect I thought he deserved, that all of my kids do. I tried to motivate him to go in a better direction, and always told him he was smart, and could do anything. His self-esteem needed that, and it's true! When we moved , he acted as if I was a pain in the butt, and could not wait to go back w/ BM. I felt that maybe I pushed to hard, created something that was not there. I really felt like I was used, when he needed me , or his father for that matter, we were there for him ALWAYS. So for a while I have been feeling this way, like I did it all for nothing, and what I thought was a good relationship , really was not all that much. Then today, I read this letter, and I could feel all of his love, and emotions, pouring out of it. He really does care....alot, like I do. I miss him, I miss them both. Now I see, that I did make a difference. Maybe being apart made him realize it to?? Also, he's growing...14 now. I was thinking I will write him back this week, just to let him know I miss him to, and I'm still here for him. I need to go cry now. Chel