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I caught my 6yr old stepson spying on me...help?!

Cheyenne Chavez's picture

Submitted by Cheyenne Chavez on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 3:29pm

:? My 6 year old stepson lives with us full time...today after my husband left for work, I decided to take a shower. Our main bathroom is set up kind of weird, so it has a door to the back porch with a plexi glass pet door. Well, I caught my step son spying on me through the pet door.... I was already completely naked by the time I realized it, and I was in complete shock! I imediately grabbed a towel and told him to go to his room...I didn't know what else to do!I told my husband about it right away, but I will have to wait for him to come home from work before he can do anything about it... I am so upset and confused. He has lived back and forth between his mother and father since birth, and last year he spent the whole year with her because she moved so far away that visitation was impossible...I would like to think that she is a good mom and I don't think she would expose him to anything that would encourage this type of behavior, but I don't know for sure... It's concerning! Has anyone else had similar issues? if so, what did you do. Also, should we seek counseling for this child? is this a normal behavior for a 6 year old boy?

Comments

helena_brass's picture

Submitted by helena_brass on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 3:33pm

I dunno. It would be uncomfortable certainly, but I don't think it's necessarily a sign of anything bad going on. Kids are curious. Maybe the only person he's ever seen naked is his mom, and she looks really different? I know FSD notices my boobs a lot because her mom has none.

Then again, if the boy did this in addition to other questionable actions, you might have cause for concern. But a kid looking at you through a plexi door? Well, maybe it's time for a little talk on appropriateness, and perhaps that bathroom remodel...

mella's picture

Submitted by mella on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 3:42pm

I agree with PP. It's super uncomfortable and upsetting for you, but it doesn't mean that he has anything going on other than normal childhood curiosity. I would think getting him counseling because he was peeping at you would be an overreaction. OTOH, if he is showing signs of sexual acting out or other unusual behaviors, then you want to look at counseling.

My FSS4 has lurked outside the bathroom asking what I'm doing a couple of times (he once tried unsuccessfully to look in the keyhole even, and another time he asked through the door if I was pooping!). I explained to him that when people are in the bathroom that is their private time, and peeking/asking what they are doing is not polite.

The quickest way to make sure this blows over with minimal trauma to all parties is to just explain why you were upset, what the expectations are, and move on never to mention it again. And also maybe cover up that plexi with some opaque contact paper to discourage recidivism. Wink

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 3:42pm

Definitely a talk on appropriateness would do. Kids are naturally curious--I have several friends who go beet red when their parents tell us about the time he/she wanted to spy on their mom/dad/grandparents when they were very young and curious.

If it continues, then it is a problem, but for now it is something that can be addressed by a talk. If it still doesn't work, or he needs several prompts, lock up the pet door until he is old enough to understand that it is not okay.

peanut11's picture

Submitted by peanut11 on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 6:35pm

My SS6 is curious too. He has walked in on me while getting in the shower. He got all loud yelling he saw me. Anyway I did not make a big deal out of it and simply said dont be silly. Once he realized I wasn't making a big deal out of it he lost intrest. I say dont worry about it unless he is constantly doing it.