Hi Guys
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, extra work and family commitments have left little spare time to write but I have been reading all the posts. So here I am with the latest issue and I don't really care if BM reads this, in fact I wish she would. SD14 recently was told to wear a back brace by her doctors. We have joint custody of SK's which means we have them the same 2 days every week and then alternate weekends. BM is not welcome at our house because of how she has acted previously so DH and I decide that on the transition day we'd get a bag for SD to carry the brace discretely in to school so that she can then bring it to mom's after school and vice versa. SD puts brace in her locker as soon as she gets to school and doesn't bother with it until after school. This is 1 day a week. So for the first few weeks everything went fine although SD did complain she was embarrassed to bring it to school. She talked it over with her mom and the two of them decided that BM should come and go to our house on transition day picking it up or dropping it off and that she should be allowed to leave it in the garage (access required by keycode) at any time of the day. I told SD politely but firmly that that just wasn't going to happen and that she would be taking it to school with her. Well all's quiet for a few weeks and then bam, SD "forgets" it and leaves it at her mom's. This is a day I was supposed to be out of town but ended up at home. When SD is asked about it she's distinctly suspect. BM calls my DH to say she'd drop by with it. I call her back and say no, we'll pick it up. BM is pissed and somewhat surprised. Why? 5 days later when SD is due to bring it to our house again she remembers to bring it with her but BM tells her to leave it in the car "that day". She then calls my DH and says she'll be dropping it off. I'm out of town and she knows this. My DH says no and she asks what the problem is, and says the problem is me. My DH backs me up and says that I do wonderful things for the kids and that if this is how I want it this is how it will be. In error he told her to just have SD wear it at her house to which she said she'd take us to court for not making SD wear it. The best about it is that SD no longer has a real problem bringing it with her, one of her best friends has had one for the last 2 years and takes it to school every day. I told my DH to stand his ground and not to be threatened by her, because we can always counterclaim that she obstructed us from having SD wear it by not allowing SD to bring it with her. We looked into the possibility of getting a 2nd one and it will cost $1500, my view is that although SD might feel somewhat embarrassed by bringing it to and from school she is not traumatised by it. Seems the only person with any real gripe about the situation is BM. And what is the obsession or need to call at my house all the time. Get your own life and leave us to get on with ours. I'm standing my ground but would appreciate some feedback on it whether in agreement or not.