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Finances going to Ex

CityGirl's picture

Submitted by CityGirl on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 1:53pm

The BM has been on my husband about settling up the finances that she feels she is owed. BM sent several spread sheets for 3 years of stuff she feels she is owed for. My husband has sat down and gone through all receipts she has and made his own spread sheets. She did not like them and redid hers claiming he owes her over $9000! She has not paid him for the house and that bill alone is over $10,000. She was suppose to have it paid to him by the end of January 2009. She also never paid him for the van she got in the divorce. She claims that she did yet has no documetation. She is now saying she will also take him back to court for more child support. She gets almost $1000 dollars per month right now. In the custody agreement she is suppose to buy all the children's clothes yet I am always having to buy the children stuff. Plus they often come to our house not fed and without proper clothing and often without enough clothing. The custody agreement is joint residency, joint custody. She never brings the children over on time and often makes sure they have plans so they go back early. She is ready to go to court and he feels he will fight to get more time with the children. I am just getting frustrated because I see how she is screwing him again and she has said she will lie in order to get more money. He has no problem paying for his share for the kids but wants to see reciepts. Will the court look at things she does not have reciepts for? Will they take her word that she paid for the van without proper documentation? I support my husband but I feel like he is going into battle when it is a losing battle. I would love to have the children more but I feel like if he goes to court she will lie until she gets her way. She is very manipulative and fights until people are worn down and then gets her way. How can I help him not lose or not get racked over the coals for more money?

Comments

Everyones Interest's picture

Submitted by Everyones Interest on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 1:58pm

The courts are mainly concerned with facts and proof.

I would hope that anyone waltzing into court claiming a bunch of expenses would need to show receipts or a bank statment supporting her claims. Also, she said she paid for the van, he says she did not. The onus is on her to provide proof that she did.

It doesn`t sound like a loosing battle to me, but then again, I`m from Canada so things are a little different here.

***Life - It's not a rehearsal***

CrystalRE's picture

Submitted by CrystalRE on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 2:37pm

I agree with the previous posters. If the courts didnt require proof the legal system would be an even bigger mess than it already is. When we were going through this with my husbands ex, our lawyer told us to "overwhelm them with paperwork". Documentation is key! I think, if you have your ducks in a row not only will it not be a losing battle but one that should be pretty easily won.

Denial's picture

Submitted by Denial on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 2:45pm

CityGirl, we are going through the exact same thing right now. BM insists we owe her $7250, and most of it is bogust. We have an attorney we are working with and they concur - the court is only interested in proof, facts, documents, receipts.

BM can't seem to product most of those items right now. For the van, in the earlier post - she says she did, he says she didn't - judge says "show me!"

Don't get me wrong, we do owe her money for medical bills - according to our and the attorney's calculations - $267, which is a far cry from $7250. Even some of the stuff she's listed as "Dr Appointment - vaccines" $620 - SS said he hadn't gotten vaccinated in years, no shots, no nothing.

SS thinks he's so smart trying to sabotage us all the time for his mom's sake - you ask him the right question, his brain can't comprehend the answer will contradict what his mom said. He truly is a product of his environment.

Soooo, it's not a losing battle. If she doesn't have the receipts and the proof, judge will tell her to come back when she does.

Good luck - we have court soon with her - OH BOY!!! Another 1/2 day of my life that I won't get back:)!

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 3:12pm

We went to court once with an issue like this with DH's ex. Actually, she showed up at mediation asking for this crazy $1500.00 amount that she says we owed her, but had no receipts, documentation, nothing, except for a typed up, misspelled piece of paper where she wrote out what was "owed". The mediator thought she was a fruitcake. She whined and cried and tried to get DH to agree to pay it, even acted like she was upset that he didn't trust her and what she said he owed. He ended up owing her nothing, but it took 1 hour and $200.00 of lawyer fees for the hour to get her to shut the hell up.

"Kindness is usually mistaken for weakness by stupid people" author unknown