My DH is an amazing father and husband. His whole life revolves around our family and work (mostly in that order). He is a very hands-on dad, helps with diapers, homework, getting up with baby at night (yes, still! grrr), bed and bath times, and cleaning. He is really the most fantastic man, and I am a very lucky wife.

My biggest gripe with him is the television. He grew up in a household where his father came home from work, kicked off his shoes, and plopped down in front of the TV. FIL even took his dinner in front of the TV, and would stay there until bedtime, and then slept with the TV on. This is how DH did things when we first met, although when we decided to cohabitate, I said NO WAY to a TV in our bedroom. (I can't sleep with a TV on, and have always felt that the bedroom is for sleeping and sex only). We compromised on a fan in the room for his "white noise", and that has worked wonderfully for the last sixteen years.

I am a SAHM with our DD2. I suffer from Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, and cannot work on a regular basis, and am unable to be gainfully employed with these conditions, even medicated. Even if I could work, it is important to both of us that I am home with DD2, and we waited ten years to have another child so that we could afford for me to stay at home. Almost every day is a struggle for me to keep up with her. I am in constant pain, but I do the best I can to give my DD a full and happy experience during the day when we are on our own. It would be very easy for me to strap her in her highchair and plant her in front of the TV while I sit and relax. But no matter how bad I feel, I do everything I can to avoid screen time for her. I feel guilty even when she watches TV for just a half hour so I can get a shower.

When DH gets home in the early evening, I pass DD to him so I can get dinner prepared. He kicks off his shoes, sits down in the living room, and turns on cartoons to occupy DD2. We have dinner about an hour later, then I do kitchen cleanup, while DH again takes DD into the living room for more cartoons. Then it's bathtime (DH does this because I cannot bend over the bathtub to bathe her without muscle spasms and extreme pain), and then I get her ready for bed. DH then takes her back into the living room for more TV, so I can get lunches made for him and DD12, and catch up on laundry, bills, whatever. I have offered several times to take over DD2 during this time especially, while DH takes over the things that I usually do. He always acts surprised that I would ask that, and has declined each time I've asked.

Tonight I hit my limit with the TV issue. I told him that I can understand how tired he is (because I'm right there with him), but that I am getting concerned with DD2's development. My sister's son is three weeks older than DD2, and he has a much larger vocabulary, speaks more clearly, and although I know each child is different, I worry about her nonetheless. I feel that TV is playing a big part in this. I can't STAND the glazed over, vacant, spaced out look DD takes on when the TV is on, or the whining that goes on when she's had enough and just wants his attention.

Any ideas on how to talk to him about this so he "gets" it? I really don't feel like I am overreacting. This is our baby. We don't get a do-over with her development. And I can't stand the irritated affect he takes on when I ask him to turn off the TV and pay attention to his daughter!!