Make up at 10? Weekend with Toxic SD17 and other wors
I am livid and still shaking with fury. Even after my 3-Mike run. I just want to punch a punching bag but instead I read and type this. I knew trouble was brewing - you see it's been so quiet this month, very little to no drama, so I figured, correctly so, something ugly would happen. Which of course it did. SD10 has a bday party to attend, wanted something different, so she asked her sister SD 17 to apply makeup. She applied heavy eyeliner, blue eye shadow, mascara, lipstick blush, the works. She looked like a very short but heavy teenager, so I made a comment about how it reminds me of the show toddlers and tiaras. I said it looked nice but reminded me of a beauty contest and like the honey boo boo, not to be insulting.
So OF COURSE drama princess snowflake shrieks out from her room THAT IS THE MOST INSUOTING THING IVE EVER HEARD OMYGOD.
I made certain munchkin knew I would never in a million years try to hurt or insult her ever. She's sweet, respectful and a joy to be around. I hugged her and she told me the makeup was really just too much for her anyway, and she really just wanted to try lipstick and she was planning on washing the rest off after darling sister was gone.
What is everyone's take on children and makeup?
Plus I just knew SD17 would ruin the weekend, and she's going with us to super bowl party. She got started arguing with BMs boyfriend for her drama dose and found a way to make something I said sound toxic, a twisted way to make me the bad guy, like she always does. I know her game now, I just don't want her playing it on me.
Last night, kid free night, I began a discussion with SO, about my being an equal partner who needs to be included in household decisions, especially those that include adding an adult full time housemate. Also that he needs to give conditions for living with us. He got upset so I withdrew. I understand that's his child. I also understand exactly how toxic she is. She isn't in the house ten minutes and she's shrieking at her father.
I am so anxious right now. He thinks all the terrible things she's said the last few months are old news, it I say she has no remorse and makes no apology and will continue.
I love my SO, but despise his daughter. She's toxic and I simply do not want her living in my space. Coming up on three years of knowing her and now I'm certain she will not simply get over being a teenager. She will not improve.
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Comments
Well, comparing the child to
Well, comparing the child to honey boo boo was offensive whether you intended it to be or not. Simply telling SD10 that the make-up was just tooooooo much and inappropriate for her age would have sufficed. Even toddlers and tiaras would have not been bad, but Honey Boo Boo?
If SD10 wants to try a bit of 'special', perhaps try clear or very light pink lip gloss. Ten year olds don't need make-up and dolling them up like little beauty queens is inappropriate (unless she does kiddie beauty contest, which is a whole different topic).
So why do you have to take SD17 to a football party? If she's out lived her welcome this weekend send her home. If all she's going to do is whine and squeal she might as well go to BM's and fight with them.
Or leave her at your house alone if Dad won't send her to BM. Parties are to be enjoyable, why drag big mouth along to ruin your outing?
Yes, I spouted off something
Yes, I spouted off something I shouldn't have. But she washed it off, anyway, not because of something I said.
SD17 was taking care of grandma at aunties house, and auntie brought her. She was playing with the cousins, so I did not see her.
And then Auntie thinks its a good time to tell my SO that he should let bratty AD17 paint a wall in her room a color of her choice. Forget about the double work. We already said "NO". Thank goodness SO did not back down and try to placate Auntie. I just asked Auntie if she had been paid to advocate.
LO, super jew!!! I try not to
LO, super jew!!!
I try not to speak to SD17 anymore if I can help it. But that would have been a positive response.
Yes, HeavenLike, SD17 watches
Yes, HeavenLike, SD17 watches all sorts of makeup videos (she has the time - no job or friends or hobbies), and has "acquired" a vast array of products (more than what you can buy from watching grandma every other weekend)
SD10 washed it off, and was normal looking at the party. She is becoming very conscious of what her friends think, and she is becoming more aware. I daresay that SD10 is more emotionally intelligent than SD17!!!!
I put makeup on my 5 year old
I put makeup on my 5 year old SD sometimes lol but it's just for fun and she never wears it out. She washes her face right after. I think at 10 I'd be fine with gloss and maybe some light blush or mascara but definitely not a full face. I don't see the honey boo boo comment as a huge deal but at an age where they're struggling with self confidence I would say something along the lines of "XYZ would be a bit more flattering because it'd show off your natural beauty!"
I thought you made a funny
I thought you made a funny comment lol
My SO, he thought the same
My SO, he thought the same thing I did and sort of laughed it off.
sueu2, I have no idea what I
sueu2, I have no idea what I am thinking either, I am FEELING, my way through this adventure.
I know that SD17 thrives on drama. Why would she interject when I am not even speaking to her directly? I have seen her say things to see the uncomfortable agitation, especially in front of the family. My SO has a very large, loud family, and she likes saying things to embarrass us, or put us on the spot in front of them. And she is always derogatory in her exclamations.
But yes, I did not pursue it specifically because, sure, she can feel however she chooses, and she chose to feel insulted on her sisters behalf. (Lets not forget momma June, she can also choose to feel insulted on her mothers behalf if she really wants to)
I guess I need "Demanding Lessons". Pun intended. However, I am working towards being in a situation whereby I will be able to have an equal say in my household.
Yes, StepAside - I am totally
Yes, StepAside - I am totally with you on that one. I immediately felt bad, and if you feel bad about something that means your probably in the wrong. I spout things every now and then. Oh well. My sweet SD10 didn't feel bad at all, it was SD17 who felt bad.
SD17 and I have a turbulent history whereby she has managed to destroy any shred of a relationship we once had, and destroyed any possibilities of a future relationship. She has said some vile, unforgivable things, and has no remorse, has made zero apologies, and keeps repeating some of the same things, so I know she actually meant every word. I cant stand the sound of her voice, and having her around makes me feel anxious. I have managed to keep things civil. Hello. goodbye, good morning, goo night. We stay out of each others way.
Yeah, well she has something to complain about - fabulous. She is still a liar and a thief, who was banned from JCPennies for a year, nothing I do will change that.
My ExSD constantly made
My ExSD constantly made insulting comments and then would say she was trying to be funny (your nephews have cartoon characters names -untrue, their names are gorgeous), this ethnic food would make everyone gain 500lb (untrue unless you eat butt load of it), when your DD was in school she only wire sweat pants (untrue as she never even owned sweatpants let alone wore them anywhere), your DD had useless college degree (untrue as my DD works full time for years in the field has MA and us accepted to PhD, just waiting for a grant so clearly it's not useless etc).
Then when confronted ted she'd laugh and say she was just trying to be funny. Sorry it ain't funny
I think it's better just directly say that heavy make up might not be good for 10 year old. Sometimes when we think we are being funny, we are being insulting
Yikes, what a snot-nosed
Yikes, what a snot-nosed bratt she sounds like!
Yes, I sometimes spout things that I wish I could take back. Good advice.
10 is way to young for
10 is way to young for make-up.... I might even have difficult time with a clear lip gloss...
but then again it's me.....
and NO you did nothing wrong IMHO... SD can not move back, she's a brat, SD10 will not really like it by the sound off it.... DH can suck on 13 eggs if he wants to, his adult daughter will not move back
My parents would not allow me
My parents would not allow me to wear makeup until I turned 14 yrs. My family is very conservative.
SD17 is a narcissistic, selfish, sociopath. I hope that I can swing my own place by the time sheis 18 and graduated. It wont be an issue then.
Why only 13?
My younger SD liked makeup
My younger SD liked makeup and always wanted to try some out. Her mom let her have lots of her old makeup for "dress up" purposes.
I believe it was in 2nd grade that she smuggled a cache of this to school and on a break, she and her little group of minions all went to the girls room and were late to class.
The teacher said they all came in looking like baby Tammy Fay Bakers! She had to give them all demerits but she said she couldn't help but laugh because they looked so funny.
I think a lot of it was because she wanted to be like her older sister who at 4 year older was starting to wear makeup for real around that time.
Personally, I don't think children should wear makeup (aside from Halloween..lol) unless it is in a dress up capacity. I think girls are pushed to look older sooner and wish they could stay innocent a while longer.
SD10 is kind of a tomboy
SD10 is kind of a tomboy type- she just wanted lipstick to try something new, and when her sister wanted to go over the top on everything, she just stayed quiet and let her, because it was a rare instance when her sister SD17 was actually being nice to her for once.
I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I was 14.