I feel so much better. STBDH and I are tying the knot on Wednesday. I was feeling very anxious about getting married a few days back. I was freaking out. There were no problems at all. Our relationship is wonderful. He has my back and I have his. OSS is a gem, YSS was and still is acting up but it's noting that couldn't be managed. I have a normal father-son relationship with Dad again- something I was needing. 

I was afraid of screwing up. I have everything I ever wanted and my biggest fear was that somehow I would screw it up and lose it all. STBDH saw I wasn't acting like myself and inquired about it. I broke down. All he did was hold my hand and listen. Apparently, I'm his whole world and me not being in his life fightens him. He was willing to post-pone the wedding if that's what I needed. I spoke to my dad, a close friend of mine, and one of my fellow Steptalkers and all three said the same thing- don't let the fear of screwing up dictate my future. STBDH had to remind me that's he's in this "for better or for worse". Conflict is a part of any relationship. They're going to be ups and downs but at the end of the day, we will always have eachother. This is his second marriage and my first and we both intended to make it our last. 

I'm back to my old self again. Over the weekend , we went for a walk and I ended up slipping on ice and twisting my ankle.He ended up carrying me all the way back home and has been very attentive to me since, almost to the point of being my shadow. I wanted to strangle him for some space but he refused. Bless his heart. We talked, laughed, drank, had plenty of sex. 

Wedesday is the big day. 48 hours from now, I'll be DH's DH. I'm eager to start addressing him as such :)