I really feel that these last 14months with majority custody with SS12 and SS8 has helped us become a real family - having my BD at the same time has really cemented this, as it's provided a common point between us all. Its been great for the kids - I can see how far they have come being with us, and how much they enjoy belonging to a family unit.

But because BM has not been making the effort with any of us, she's starting to feel very left out - and is now doing her best to insinuate herself into our lives. I would feel pity for her if she didn't cause so much heartache and trouble.

Since BM realised her control over her ex and children are slipping, she has ramped up her campaign to photo bomb our lives and our family picture. This all came about in a recent "discussion" about SS12's high school where she couldn't have her own way, so proceeded to use every manipulation tactic under the book, with no result. She then turned her attention to SS12, but he wants to "live with his sister" - her response...panic.

Mini photobomb #1 - Let's throw a joint bday party at YOUR place
SSs had only lived with us a couple of months, and I didn't have much contact with her - and all of a sudden she's emailing me suggesting we throw a joint birthday party for SS8 at our place. In my world, you start off with neutral territory and wait for someone to invite you - not suggest you throw a party and use their place. My response - we suggested SS8 have a sleepover with no adults.

Mini photobomb #2 - Can I hang out at your place
She promises SSs she would take them out every week for dinner because she was only going to see them EOWE. This happens for a few weeks, until her BF decides to stop paying for her petrol and dinners with them - then she comes to us crying poor, wanting to "hang out" at our house one night a week, either in the living room or in their rooms. My response - ...ummm NO (I'm supporting your kids by going to work every day, you do nothing for them and now you want to come and hang out with them (and my daughter) while I'm at work, with the possibility to stay so SO has to cook you dinner? Can someone say dreaming).
This resulted in months later her accusing me of "keeping her from her children and not letting her tuck them into bed"...it's called boundaries, spend time with them outside of my space.

Mini photobomb #3 - Can I housesit for the weekend at your place?
BM gets into a fight with her BF, she doesn't have a place to have the kids for the weekend because it's "not a very nice environment there at the moment". Her suggestion is that she come and housesit at our place for the weekend because she knew we planned to go away. Our response - plans cancelled, we'll look after the kids for the weekend (No, we don't want you looking through our stuff or stealing our money - she's lied to get more money in the past and stolen money off the kids that we gave them).

Major Photobomb #4 - Moving closer to us
Even though she lives 1.5hrs away - she's decided it's "in the boy's best interest that I move closer to them and assimilate myself into their lives". (Why do I think of the Borg from Star Trek whenever I read that?)
We have finally made a great environment here, and now she wants to move in. She's looking for places 10mins away! I just want to tell/yell at her "Stop moving around and try and deal with your problems - you are just packing them up and taking them with you every time you move (4th time in 14 months)."

Photobomb #5 - Holiday bliss denied
We saved money so we could take the kids on a holiday visiting a few theme parks. When we arrive it turns out SS8 is just a little too short to ride the big rides (probably a good thing). In the very next phone call she's promising she'll take them back to the theme parks when he's tall enough so they can all go on the rides together. Can you please just wait until we return from our holidays before you promise to take them back? You are just riding their high that they are having so much fun. And stop making promises to them you can't keep. How are you going to take them on holidays when you have no job, no savings, bills to pay and you're trying to organise yet another house move (which means bond, new furniture, rent and living expenses - all of which you aren't paying now). Plus you had your chance 18 months ago when you were staying close by for family, promised you would take them on the rides, but then pulled out at the last minute because you didn't have enough money.

I just want BM to stop photo bombing us and start making her own pictures with the kids.