The straw that broke the camel's back....it's always something that might seem insignificant to others, but after dealing with years of this nonsense it's not insignificant at all. It pisses me off when these kids are told over and over again not to touch something that doesn't belong to them and they keep doing it anyway. Of course our idiot husbands continue to undermine our authority and refuse to discipline, so their children don't take us seriously.

I'm about fed up with step life today so I totally feel you and your frustration.

So AFTER you told DH what PF did he still had the balls to call you to see if PF ate? Did you ask him if his head was up his own ass when you previously told him you’re done with PF and that was why he didn’t hear you?

I'm so sorry you went through this. So many times a DH/SO will trivialize things like this, possibly thinking, "It was candy! They do make more!" What they’re missing is that it’s just another violation of the stepparent and the boundaries the stepchild should not cross. They can’t see the big picture and instead want to look at the single infraction. They just don’t get it. 

Why can't skid just have his own bag of candy?

We learned w/3 teens long ago to hide our food in our room -chocolates or other valuables we really like - not worth the high blood pressure.

Cooooookies, I'm ready to hop a plane and force-feed M&Ms to PF until he's so sick, he will never again be able to so much as LOOK at a bag without gagging. Right after I kick your DH square in the arse with my pointy-toe b!tch boots, smack him in the back of the head, and bark, "PARENT, damm!t!!!"

A great hiding place is at the bottom of a box of Tampons. Or in spare purse in your closet. I actually have a SAFE and the key is locked in my car. Even DH does not have access to my car keys.

I don't blame you one bit, it's pure disrespect.

And why is your husband asking YOU if his 15 year old kid ate? He's not a toddler.

"Don't know, don't care", would be my answer. About everything regarding the step kid.

UGH I can't tell you the number of times that I nearly lost my marbles over SD just helping herself to my things.  Be it makeup, hair products, food, phone chargers, luggage, my shower.....well pretty much EVERYTHING!.  And no matter how many times I'd yell at DH about it, she'd continue to do it... which of course meant that he was saying nothing to her because we wouldn't want to upset poopsie, and as you said, he'd rather pity her than parent her.  So freaking annoying. 

I just got to the point where if I noticed she took my lipgloss out of the drawer, I'd go in her bedroom when she and DH were gone and I'd take my lipgloss back along with 1 or 2 items of hers.  I'd never use any of her makeup or wear any of her clothes, but I'd still take the stuff and then just chuck it in the garbage.  Tit for tat right?  How do you like it when YOUR shit disappears?? I know it sounds childish, but there was no sense complaining to DH because he'd just fight with me and do nothing, so that activated my bitch mode. 

I get it.  I would seriously buy a large locker, put it in/near the kitchen with a big LOCK on it.  Only YOU know the combo. 

I am not surprised he called you about PFs lunch, not in the least.  DH still expects me to laugh about "how funny" SD14 is.

My god do i know how you're feeling. It's like your head wants to explode .  Don't even start me on the high functioning thing (i love the comparison btw). It will never stop imo, unless you lock it up. I know you dont want to but they just have no conscience  Zero. Beginning to think ss sticky fingers is a sociopath.

I dont understand your dh though, asking if the brat had dinner?? Why should you care even?

Get a cash box with a good sturdy lock and tape pics of m&m's on it plus and other sweets he really likes to goad him. His father should be punishing him amd making him replace whatever he takes. Why doesnt he.? Playing nice guy? Or is it the autism card again? Either way it's not helping the situation. 

Just wondering... Does he only take your sweets Cooookie? Or would he steal some sweets of your dh too? Wondering if this is about you and he wants to take specifically from you.?

He will look there 

Dont boil wash your m & m's! 

https://www.delishbeads.com/products/14mm-fake-m-m-chocolate-candies-res...

I go through this crap too. The worst was when I was pregnant and they ate my Froot Loops. I think I made a post about it. Nothing like having all of your snacks eaten without your consent! 

My adult SS (33 years old) drank five 1.7 litre bottles of booze while we were out of town.  That's the alkie's version of eating pounds of chocolate. He's almost certainly bi-polar. Not my problem.  Neither my DH nor I drink hard liquor, but  we bought it for entertaining.

That was just a "piss on you" action just like your SS's eating your M&Ms.

It isn't about the M&Ms, but these are the kinds of small things that remind us of the big issues that really bother us. How many times have I commented to my DW about SS17s actions and she has said, "It's just..." or "He was only..." But the issue is a kid who lives in my apartment for whom I can set no boundaries or rules.

Just the other day, he was playing video games and he can talk to his cousins remotely, who are also playing the game with him. You might say that he was just minding his own business, but I was extremely irritated at the sound of his voice. I thought about it and considered that it was not about his voice, the issue is that this is a kid for whom I can set no boundaries or rules, and the sound of his voice is filling our entire living space.

Peanut m&ms, awesome, i love them too!!  If i get them they stay in my room. I buy so much stuff for them- that the few things i get for me are either in my room, or in pots and pans!!  

Recently my irritation is i like tea/lemonade....ss14 has never drank my lemonade, but the last 2 times i bought lemonade it was gone so fast...this third time..ss pours a hug cup of half n half, right in front of me, and it sinks in he has been drinking it too!! Ugh.  Im off sodas because of diurtic- im not a coffee drinker- my soda was coffee- so ive reduced to tea and lemonade in morning, then water rest of day because of diurtic! And this selfish teen is drinking it!!  He has a bunch of drinks i buy for them!! So now i keep my lemonade in downstairs fridge- sucks for me but so over fighting about food and drinks! I just keep things as seperate as i can.

The downstairs fridge is overstock, and ss will go down there to poke around sometimes, but he is to lazy to get something out of it and put it back, or get something without being asked to get it. So he would have to really be on a mission to drink my lemonade from downstairs.

But i feel ya- it sucks but saves you a headache keeping your stash in your room somewhere!!  

Skids like this just bring out the very worst in an SM. 

You can be the nicest most accepting person in the world but when a skid uses up the last of your very expensive salon shampoo with no repercussions or reprimands from their parent, it makes you want to fill the bottle with Nair!

I have fantasies of sending you rabbit turds covered in chocolate sealed up in an   M&Ms bag! Let skid find and eat one of them!

Roll some of those M&Ms in habanero powder.

As for hiding it upstairs, I'd buy a mini fridge and place it in public view - LOCKED UP - and carry that key like a chatelaine.

....and that is why I'm more of a food nazi...

beyond things that are very clearly for general consumption - they know what foods they can have, and where it is. They know what is NOT for general consumption, and where that is.

They also know that if there is something out of the ordinary, DO NOT TOUCH. ASK.

you want, you ask.
don't ask, don't touch.
you touch, I punish.

no hiding of food.
No irritation at having things taken.
Simple.

I am ready to give up on my marriage and my SK are adults.  I plan on just leaving the whole thing behind and my husband is a great husband and father that I love but the whole SK and the grand child etc is just too much for me anymore.  I was told to take a deep breath and think and I am and it is still frustrating