LOL yep these resonate pretty true with my step experience.

8. Never pretend to know anything pertaining to the skids, BM will always know better, be better, cook better, bake better, wash clothes better...etc.

Remember, you are NOT the child(rens) mother. You just have perform all the mothering duties but you don't deserve the title.

Never, ever say anything negative about the skids to Daddy. You know, it's a reflection on his parenting if you do.

Remember all skids are destined to be either doctors, lawyers, or astronauts. Each and every COD is intelligent, interesting, and well-rounded and we must sing their praise.

Dont think that your own life and your own boundaries mean anything. Dont think that your rules or expectations are given consideration. The dysfunction that broke up the first marriage needs to carry on in yours and things will still work out ok. The fact that BM and DH are divorced doesnt mean that BM doesnt have a say in YOUR home.

My bottom line now: avoid dysfunctional people who have kids. Dont marry them or have relationships with them. Let these people marry each other and other free ranging dysfunctional people with kids.

Those are great!! The haircut one is priceless and so true

These are great!! #4 as an add on "Never ever LOOK happy. That's disrespectful to the BM and skids. Look miserable just like them. At least that will put a smile on their "sucking a lemon" face.

Never invest your feelings OR money in the skids.

While there may be a time you THINK you get along just fine, they will eventually turn on you like a rabid dog and be loyal to their lying, skanky, moneygrubbing 'ho of a mother.

They will come to expect you to buy them any/everything. That money will be better spent on something worthwhile, like health benefits for stamp/envelop lickers. Have you ever sprained your tongue licking an envelop?

NEVER remind the skids of rules that dh has told them COUNTLESSSS times. and certainly don't ask them not to do something completely age-inappropriate, like sitting their naked @$$ on the counter, or sleeping with the overhead light on and tv blasting full volume, or walking **PAST** the EFFING bathroom (that has the light on, mind you) to walk into MY bedroom four or five times and evening, just to say "nnnnngggggdddddaaaadeeEEE? i hafta peeeee."

Never help skids sorh homework. How dare you contribute to their education and academic achievements.

Don’t ever question BMs interpretation of child illness and the unnecessary ER visits..didn’t you know that she bscaame a pediatrician, dermatologist, pulmonologist, podiatrist, and every other type of MD.

I really wish I had this list eight years ago, everything you wrote turn out to be true.

This is what I should’ve been told versus the crap books I read about blending a family and having a bonus child :sick:

Thank you for these......I thought I was the only one who felt this way. The "mother of his child" comment was the best! That apparently can be used in every situation imaginable. Oh, and #3, I'm never really sure what I am allowed to do or say, I'm never good enough, unless its convenient for BM. I'm new to all of this, how much longer till she stops making my life h*ll?

brilliant blog made me laugh
I’d add a deadly sin, SM is the reason why DH can’t go back to BM (because deep down inside he really wants) and live happily ever after with their gift of child that bonds them forever more.
Except DH had been living alone for years before he met me and says he never told her straight there was no chance of a reconciliation because he feared never seeing the kid again. So he thought she’d just get the hint and be a big girl about it... 5 years on and she’s single and still answering the door in a towel.

i would like to add the cardinal rule of step parenting:

1. no good deed goes unpunished.

regardless of how kind or considerate or helpful we are, we will always be the bad guy. bm can have the morals of a street corner hooker, use the child support money on herself and her lovers, or have the brains and common sense of an earth worm,but she will always have a place on the pedestal over every one else.