Seems like the most rational choice to me! let the mom keep the kids until they are clean. You're suggesting switching not skipping visit all together. Why would he get so upset over that? especially if you've shown interest in his kids before. Is there something else and he's just using this as an excuse?

Maybe you should follow up with... "are you serious? Cuz I'd like to talk about it if you are" I think the bios need to be flexible and understanding, they are the ones with the baggage!

I can relate - my OH started to use the "you hate my kids, perhaps we should split up" etc excuse a few times. At first I fell for it and it stopped me.

He tried it on last week, and I wised up. I said "I do not want you to go, but if that is what you choose then goodbye, I will not ask you to stay, and I will do just fine without you thanks. IF however you CHOOSE to stay then this is what I need to happen - ..." and proceeded to list the changes I needed to see in him.

(He stayed LOL and has attempted to be more of a parent and less of a mate to his son, and to respect that I have the right to an opinion and a voice in MY house as does he regarding my kids)

My BallessDH used to say this to me as well, but not when the step-shits didn't get their way - when I wouldn't do what his Ex wanted on MY days off.

He has said it about 4 times over the years. It used to break my heart. He said it one too many times this summer and I became ENRAGED and started screaming at him to go file and that if he didn't I sure the Hell would. Then I went and got a marriage counselor.

I can tell you that it scared the daylights out of him and he has been bending over backward and trying to do black flips to get in my good graces again.

All of this BS has made me lose my respect for him and I have 0 passion anymore. His mere touch makes me cringe.

Call him on it CPauqette. He sounds like a real douchebag. You seem to be thoughtful, sweet and caring. You don't deserve this and I'm sorry he says it to you.

Oh yeah, and your not wanting to spread the lice to your house seems completely logical and a good call on your part.

Honestly, I never understood the "if kid's sick, kid can't come" mentality.
He is their FATHER, which means he has them in sickness and in health. (Kinda like those marriage vows.)
If the girls have lice, they should be treated. Even if HE is the one who does it. Again, he's their parent.

I, personally, never have and never would tell my DH that his kids couldn't come to our (his, too!!) house. It wouldn't be ok with me if he pulled that crap, so I won't do it to him.

The "divorce" comment means he's at his line, too. This was just the catalyst.

I think it is more humane to the kids to let them stay with mom and get cleared up all the way rather than saying they have to go because its MAH WEEKEND, infest Dad's house, then the next week they come over they pick up the lice right back where they left them.

Making my head itch just thinking about it. They shouldn't be in school until its cleared up either. Why? So it isn't passed around!

Something might be going on with your hubby.

The year I took in my SGD all I did was battle lice. Keep her at her mom's house until she is clear of it. The school system sends the children home until she has been checked by the school nurse and cleared to return.

My SGD was placed with us by DCS. We were not told one of the many factors was that her daycare had filed numerous reports of lice infestations about her. Not once did her mother mention that to us.
At the time she moved in I was going to my mother's home every day to take care of her. She was in the end stages of liver cancer. All my sisters and I would meet at the house with our children and grandchildren to help,

The day I discovered she had come into my home with lice was one of the most expensive days of my life. I had 9 siblings and all their immediate families exposed to lice. I had been the one who brought the child and exposed everyone to it. It took 3 drug stores to get enough lice treatment for everyone and hundreds of dollars.

When I mentioned this to her mother she admitted an ongoing lice problem had been going on with all the child's cousins on that side of the family for many months. They had all been in constant contact prior to the DCS placement. They all had been using mayonase as a treatment. Obviously it did not work but it was cheap.

those who posted about being a parent reguardless of illness...i believe you are correct, ALWAYS a parent. however, there is another player involved that needs to be looked out for also, his spouse, who has much to lose if she becomes infected. and i believe she is ALWAYS his spouse, his next of kin, and her needs have to be considered also. if they are not, why marry? when you marry, that person becomes equally as important as your children. it's a balancing act really and very hard. neither person gets 100% anymore. so, why is it so wrong to ask that the children switch weekends? no harm will come of the children, but could potentially harm op.

Divorce over switching weekends due to lice??? Either

1) Your DH is using a manipulation tactic to get his way. or

2) Your DH is unhappy in the relationship and *looking* for an excuse (any excuse) to leave.

Both are big red flags, and I'd handle it the same, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."

If he's trying to manipulate you, then he'll just go pout for a while, and if he's looking for an excuse to leave, well, who the hell wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't also want to be in that relationship, too?

We've tried making BM keep SO's dd when she has lice she just kept having it so then we started getting her and wouldn't return her till she's treated twice BM would just tell the school she had an appointment and snatch her early (not we had no idea the school has a not nit policy or she wouldnt even been allowed if we'd told them) so we've been dealing with lice for a year. His dd gets treated almost every time we get her but last time it was just awful her head wasbswarming! SO told the school what's been going on she missed the first day of school was and been sent home twice in 2;weeks BM swears it's from iur house yet the first time ever BM let SO have her she had them no one in my house has it and we always treat the house. Well after the nasty swarm in her head I got it I was done I spent almost 100$ and treated everyone in my house the carpet floors steamed the furniture and treated the pets. Then told SO no more his kids have lice BM deals with it I will not spend another penny another second dealing with BM's inability to nit be nasty! SO'S upset but he knows it's my way or tge highway he's unemployed if I won't pay he has no option it has nothing to do with his kids but protecting mine and my kids.

This is just down right pathetic & senseless of him!!!!!!! Yes, sure, they are his kids but geesh people, where's the common sense here?!?

The OP is NOT banning his kids from her home! She merely asked him to switch wkend with BM so that the infestation had been cleared up!! She was definitely NOT out of line!!!!!

Let me ask you all this-- lets say it wasn't lice- lets pretend it's Strep Throat!! Now- are you seriously gonna pretend you yourselves wouldn't ask to Switch-not ban-wkends with BM do as to not infect both households?? I sure would. Wanna know why?!? It's called COMMON SENSE!!

Your DH is playing a Very immature & wicked game here OP. he's trying to Manipulate you-- so that way he can Always get his way. That's pathetic of him really. I agree, call his bluff!! I really do think it's a manipulation technique that he's sadly picked up somewhere along the line of " you WILL do as I say". It's crap. It's BS!!

Call a marriage counselor. Set up a time & date. Call your DHs bluff- but follow thru. He needs to hear from a 3rd party that emotionally blackmailing you is NOT cool at all!!!

The staying out all night thing? Would be a dealbreaket for me!!!! Has he done that before? Where does he go? & what should he do if You did that to him?

Sorry for the typos-on my phone & "auto-correct" isn't always correct. Lol

I would go back to DH with a counter offer. The girls are perfectly free to come. You will go out of town to visit mom/dad/friend/whomever and HE is responsible for treating the lice.