screw it - they're on their own
so where do i begin.
i've dealt with ss15's silent treatment off and on since summer. i signed up for a discount site and got a coupon to where ss17 works. i asked dh if he'd be interested in going while ss worked. when i got home he said he told ss15 we'd be there to pick him up at 6. i had a shitty day at work and seeing ss15 is NOT what i wanted to do. i finally just laid it out to DH. i said i dont want to go with ss15 because i get the shit treatment from a coworker all day and i sure as shit dont want to do it on my own time. i will not go with him - have fun. and i went and put on my comfy pants. i proceeded to download the coupon for DH and found out that it wasn't able to use until the following day - it had to be activated or something. DH was quiet and pissy all night. he got up early and went to go work on his garage projects - whatever i dont care so i stayed inside and gave myself a pedi and was contemplating to go have my nails done. DH comes inside and says he needed my help and that after that he was going to go take his boys out for lunch and i was more than welcome to come along and that i needed to get over whatever my problem was with ss15. i said my problem is that HE gives ME the silent treatment - i said i brought this up to ss15 during the summer and that he never answered me and just walked away. DH didnt care and said that i need to act like the adult. whatever DH!!! so i text the little shit and said whatever your problem is with me - let me know because i do not appreciate teh silent treatment. he responds that he doesnt have anything against me - just doesnt want to talk to me - it's just his mood and how he feels. DH says - he gets that from me i guess.
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i'm thinking i'll just quit
i'm thinking i'll just quit going to anything that has to deal with ss15. i dont know why i keep putting myself in teh position to have my feelings hurt by a 15 year old - but what more pisses me off is that dh doesn't see why i think there's a problem.
i guess i never thought about
i guess i never thought about keep going and pissing the kid off.....i was going to just remove myself, but i almost like going and pissing him off even better
Ya know, I was taught and my
Ya know, I was taught and my kids were taught that when an adult addresses a kid, the kid better answer them, especially if they are in YOUR house. That is just common courtesy and ss should be taught that when an adult speaks YOU, YOU better answer them. I don't get why this is ok with hubby.
Nothing against SS, but respect should be shown to the adults of the home. Not answering an adult when spoken to should not be an option. Little asshole.
I KNOW!!!! but anytime i try
I KNOW!!!! but anytime i try to correct a behavior i get shit from dh.
when dh first told me to talk to the kid and i reminded him that every time i talk to his kids in teh past dh always rags on me saying im too hard on them or it's not my place to talk to him, so when he told me i need to handle it, it sort of pissed me off. of course he would - because for HIM to talk to his own kid would be conflict for dh - he hates talking to the kids that would cause any hurt feelings or cause them to feel bad. aka discipline for bad behavior
Uh - it's your home, don't
Uh - it's your home, don't "get over it..." that's ridiculous - don't get your ipad and run - confront it first hand....if he's not going to talk to you...or respect you - he can stay at his mothers - if you're DH doesn't like it - tell him he needs to deal with it. The kid is 15- there is no reason for that disrespect! NOOONNNNNNNNNEEE at all! saying to ignore it is saying it's okay for kids to disrespect anyone they just "don't like...." Sometimes we have to be nice and deal with people we don't like- for example - I may hate my boss but I have to speak to him, acknowledge his prescense and treat him with some respect....it works the same for your SS.
thanks. i dont agree with it
thanks. i dont agree with it either- i just dont understand - is this a step child thing and daddy dearest protecting his kids and of course it would be ME the one who has the problem and not because YOUR child has bad behavior. how could he tell me that i need to get over it. shouldnt he have a convo with his kid about respect???
and i'm not going to let him
and i'm not going to let him win - before i thought it'd be easier to just bow out - but i think i've heard frmo enough of you that i would be making a bad decision if i did that....because then i would be slowly excluding myself from probably more than just anthign to do with little fkr ss15
-My ss12 has been giving me
-My ss12 has been giving me the silent treatment for over 3 years now. I have tried everything to get him to stop-nothing has worked. He has also told me, "I just dont want to talk to you" "I dont like you and I dont like being around you". I've known him since he was 1 and he did previously talk to me, but stopped when he moved in with bm. I've had many long talks with him about the behavior, dh has had multiple discussions with him, hme's been given the choice to sit in his room if he doesnt want to interact with me and he chooses to sit in his room. I've treid ignoring him and acting as if I dont care-I have stopped doing ALL things for him-I've tried being super nice and engaging him in conversation. We even told him he didnt need to visit and so he didnt come-but then came the next time and it was the same treatment. Occassionally he will say, "hi" if dh gets onto him bad enough on the way here. But that's about it. If I do ask him a question right in front of dh he will usually give me a brief answer and then get away as fast as he can, but if dh is not right there then there is not even an attempt to be civil.
This Summer-I told him, "you win. I feel exactly for you like you feel for me". Not the most mature response but I feel like I've been knocking myself out to get a spoiled rude brat to speak to me and I am tired of it. He skipped some visits following that and then my dh left in November for military service and I havent seen ss since then. I know that we will be making some changes when dh comes back as I am tired of dealing with it. i just dont know what. Sorry no helpful advice but i do know how you feel. I dont know how long it's been going on for you, but at this point I dont know if ss could even be different with me it is such a habit for him now and he has no desire to change it.
i dont understand why - i
i dont understand why - i dont know bm and it pisses me off to think that i'm being treated like this by a child because his mother says so - how stupid
and for ss to just do it on his own with absolutely no reason infuriates me even more. i have people that i dont like to deal with sure - but when you have to because of work or they're family you just have to fake it. i'm jealous and super happy for you that your dh at least gets on ss about his crappy behavior towards you too. my dh isnt so helpful and i almost blame this on him. hold that thought....i dont almost - i do blame him - he allows this.