I am new to this site, but not to being a SM. I have 1 BD20, SD13 and SS11.5. BD is off at college and SKids live with DH & I FT with very little (almost nonexistent) help from BM. I am sorry to hear about your infertility. I hope this site and the wonderful women on here will help you through the difficult moments ahead. There is a lot of good advice and support here and I'm most certain that there is someone on this site who is experiencing the same as you.

My new StepMother's Motto:

When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.

I am happy to welcome you, there are the most amazing people on this site and soon you will know them all and their stories.
I am a SM to one girl- 15 now- been here since 4 though, been on this site for a year- thanks everyone, I do also have two boys- I was told I would never have one really early in life and it took forever to get either one- they are now 10 years and 9 months- I told you they took their time.

I came to the conclusion a big part of their age gap was from stress, so when I finally said I can't change what I can't and relaxed a little more when things finally came to a head- here comes #2, I hope you can use this site and us to help you through whatever you are facing.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

I am a SM and BM, but wanted to say hi and welcome. There are some other women on here in your situation. I'm sure they will comment. If not, try another post with a title more specific to the things that are most dear to your heart.

Goodluck and welcome "home."

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

I'm going to be a stepmom if I decide to stay in my situation. My fiance cheated on me last year and told me in March. The twins were born to his ex in December. He didn't know they were his until last week, for sure. We were supposed to get married in September, but have at a minimum post poned the wedding until next September. I was told three years ago that I should consider having my ovaries removed because of cysts and abnormal cell growth. I decided that I wanted to try to have my own kids, so I'm trying to wait. Part of why I feel like the twins may be a blessing in disguise is because I may not get to have my own kids, and then there are these two babies who are going to need a non-psycho mom figure, which just might be there chance to be there for me and my chance to be there for them.

To every thing there is a season.

You will find that even though we are all in different situations, our situations run together in many ways and the group of people on this site are incredible. Give us the chance and we will definitely help out!

I am a SM and a BM. I had my daughter eight and half years ago with me ex husband. We have full custody of SD who is six. DH and I have been together for three years and have been trying to have a baby for two. I have not been able to get pregnant and although I do have one child which I know was an incredible gift from God, I still am dealing with the fact that I cannot share this with my husband now. He has three kids... three women. I tell him it is heartbreaking that he can have babies with someone by looking at them and then the one woman who wants to have his child and tries so hard, cannot. So, I can somewhat understand your feeling...not entirely, but enough to always give you a shoulder if you need it!

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head." ...Martin Mull

I'm a BM and a SM 3 are mine 1 his. I felt the same way you did. none of my friends,family, or co-workers were step moms,I had NOBODY to talk to or vent to about my situation. This sight helped me alot,some women have been SMs for many years and have so much knowledge in this area, stick with the sight, you'll love it. a little F.Y.I some fo us (ME included) changed our names to a fake name to avoid future issues,DH's and BMs that found out about this sight, that way we can really let it all fly.

Welcome to the wonderful world of evil stepparents (just kidding). It's good to have you here. I have 2 sd's and 2 bs's. Look forward to hearing more from you!

I have to stop myself from saying that alot... I'm guessing maybe you feel that way sometimes too? I have two step-sons (12 and 15, been with them 4 1/2 years) and no bio kids. I am 47 and while I would have loved to have kids of my own things just did not work out that way and now that boat has unfortunately sailed. I think one of the biggest frustrations is knowing, or at least believing that if I had raised kids from infancy without the influence of a crazy woman (their mom) many things would be very different. It's also very difficult sometimes knowing that as hard as I try to fill the role of a sane maternal figure when I’m with them there is never any question that I am not their mother… and yet this is the closest I'll ever come to having that kind of relationship. I don’t know if this is anything similar to what you’re going through but regardless of what your specific situation is there are some great people here who will listen and try to help. I'm fairly new to this site as well... it is SO great to come here and have moments of not feeling guilty for being frustrated. Welcome!