If it's not one thing...
Christ. We just got back from the 10-day SD-fest that was our England trip, I realized that in two weeks, it was a three-day weekend from work. Of course, we also have SD. For all three days. So I thought, "No problem, I'll go out of town for the long weekend and just get a break." But nope. I forgot that it was the same weekend as SD's birthday party that it's SO's turn to throw (SD's birthday is the Thursday prior). So I said, "FINE. I'll just go out of town for that Friday, and stay for the rest of it." NOPE. Now SO wants to take her to do something special on that Friday ASIDE from her party, and guess what! He wants it to be a FAMILY event- in other words, he wants me to be there for that, as well. Never mind that we JUST DID a huge family thing by going to England. Never mind that she gets time with BM on the actual day and the party on Saturday. No, let's ask ME to sacrifice MORE fucking time that SO could use as bonding time with her, so that we can do things as a FAMILY. I told SO, "I'm not even sure that's appropriate; shouldn't you do some things with her on your own?"
I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH THIS.
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Too bad it didn't work.
Too bad it didn't work.
If I told my boyfriend that,
If I told my boyfriend that, he'd dump me. And I don't mind being around her; in just a few short years, she won't want to be around either of us, anyway, and unlike SO, I don't have to care.
How old is SD? If she is
How old is SD?
If she is younger, yes...he should be doing some things with her alone. That is appropriate. If you just got back from a huge trip with her...then no, you have no obligation. Go out of town. If you were married, then maybe it would be a little different...but even then, I was always ready for SD to go see her mom!
I know where you are coming from. Daddy tries to build this new little family and they don't always account for our opinions or feelings!
She's turning 6.
She's turning 6.
Thanks for backing me up.
Thanks for backing me up. I'll be strong on this one.
I'd be saying that it's very,
I'd be saying that it's very, very, important to spend one on one time with his little girl. Suggest that you are concerned he might be 'like a fish out of water' being on his own with her but assure, and reassure, him that he'll cope. There are a ton of things to do 'daddy daughter' wise everywhere. She's having a party and you offered to be there for that...soooooooo let this 'separate' time be just for the TWO OF THEM!! Ask him if he wants his daughter to grow up with severe issues because she did not get enough 'daddy' time??
He finally saw the light
He finally saw the light after I told him:
a) We just spent 10 days with her as a family.
b) We're throwing her a party as a family.
c) We are going to have her, once again, for 11 days out of the next 17.
d) He needs to bond with her without me on occasion.
d) I need a fucking day off.
Free Friday for me!
I like d). I need one of
I like d). I need one of those too!
hahaha, obviously, the second
hahaha, obviously, the second d) was supposed to be an e).
But yes. We all do.
No obligation. You have done
No obligation. You have done enough and it is only a birthday...How many days is it supposed to be celebrated?
For a normal parent? One. For
For a normal parent? One. For guilty daddy and PASinator BM? Three, apparently.
i hated when i couldn't even
i hated when i couldn't even look forward to a weekend because sd was going to be here. it used to really burn my ass every year in july when the shop fdh and i both worked at shut down for 2 weeks. i always got those 2 weeks off and fdh always had to work them. i always had sd for at least one of my weeks off. the way i see it, if you're not even going to be here to spend time with her, she doesn't need to be here. why should my vacation be ruined from having to watch the damn brat?
Ugh, I know how you feel.
Ugh, I know how you feel. That totally sucks. I agree, she's YOUR kid. YOU hire a babysitter if YOU can't look after her; or hell, at least pay me what you'd pay a babysitter if I'm doing your dirty work while you go about your life. It was YOUR decision to become a parent; I made the decision not to for a REASON.
Stay for her birthday and
Stay for her birthday and then go out of town Fri. She's not your kid, and your DH foisting her on you will just make you resent her. You're only human!
Sadly, BM has her ON her
Sadly, BM has her ON her birthday, so I am kinda stuck for the party just based on general principle of not being a dick/starting a fight/I can tough it out for two hours.