Spinless DH and the Step Tryrant (Long vent)
So, last Wednesday I go looking for my converse sneakers to wear for the day. I wore them the day before and suddenly they are no wear to be found. I looked every where in the house for them and they are gone..It suddenly dawns on me that Step Snot has been "bugging" for a pair of converse for herself since she has already destroyed her other pair. They were a pair just like mine and in face I bought her and I are pairs of converse at the same time. (Mine is a size 9 and hers was a size 8.)
So, I have my suspicions about where my converse have disappeared to but I am not going to accuse her outright with no proof. Step snot coming rolling in the door from school and I am sitting in the family room right by the front door. I hear her in the "mud room" say "Oh my shoes are muddy" and she proceeds from the mud room with NO shoes on her feet. (Hmmmmm...The brat wouldn't have cared if her shoes were muddy any other time or had the courtesy to take off her shoes.) So, I take a glance into the mud room and there sit MY converse on the floor in plan site, they are not muddy, but they are wet, covered with grass, and are sitting in the center of the mud room floor. Yep, the little bitch actually had the nerve to steal and wear MY shoes..
I wait about 15 minutes and then I casually say "I wonder where my black and white shoes are?" Dumb ass, trys to be all smooth and goes into the mud room and presents me my own shoes wet and with fresh wet grass on them and tells me that they were there the whole time and she found them underneath the shoe shelf!!! Yep so now she has not only stolen from me but has the nerve to lie to me to my face!!!
I call her on wearing them and lying to me about it..To which she stands there with the shows clearly wet and grassy and tries to tell me several times that she hadn't worn them!! :jawdrop: I pointed out that I happen to know that she did because I saw them sitting in the middle of the mud room floor after she came home and they were NOT under the shoe shelf as she had said..I had looked all over the house for them while she was at school to include under the shoe shelf and they were NOT there. Furthermore, they are wet and grassy! Thirdly, I told her that she said her shoes were muddy when she came in and walked into the main part of the house in her socks...So if she didn't wear my shoes then where were the muddy shoes of HERS that she claimed to have taken off in the mud room??? BUSTED...
Then she has the nerve to proceed to tell me that she thought those converse were HERS and that's why she wore them! ANOTHER BLATANT AND NOT EVEN CONVINCING LIE TO MY FACE!!! I point out that is "bull shit" and she knew those shoes were MINE...Hers were thrashed and had been thrown out months before and mine where still in new conditions. She wears a size 8 and I wear a size 9 therefore they were too big for her feet which she had to have noticed. If she thought they were hers she could have check the size on them or asked me if they were hers. Furthermore, had seen me wearing them for several days before she helped herself to them. And ,if she thought they were hers she wouldn't have bothered to try to cover up and lie about wearing them!!! I told her that I didn't want to hear one more lie or excuse out of her mouth. And I sent her to her room until her dad got home for her safety and for my own well being.
So her dad comes home..I tell him what happened and why she is in her room. With out even discussing it with me first he goes up stairs to talk to her and he deals out her punishment..He grounds her to her room for two days!! Ohhhhhhhh...what a punishment. The kids is gone to school from 6:30 am to 4:00 pm. If she is "grounded" to her room it merely means that she can come right home from school and take a nap. As soon as daddy is home from work she comes up with everything under the sun to continue to come down stares and half the time he doesn't even call her on trying to manipulate and use excuses to stay out of her room.
She has Karate classes on one of the nights to which she was grounded and then has her chores and homework to do after school which she has to do down stares because if she isn't supervised doing her homework she won't do it..SO basically, on school night grounded to her room means she gets to take a nice nap after coming home from school!!! Gosh, I wish I could get into trouble and be grounded to my room for two nights during the school week!! I sure wouldn't mind taking I nice nap in the after noon!! :O I mean, really, she stole from her step mom and repeatedly lied to her face...Silly me, but I think that warrants being grounded for longer then two school nights..I also couldn't help but notice that DH made sure to ground her for only two days which means her grounding would have been over on Friday...Just in time for the weekend!! GRrRRR...
So my oldest gets home from school and then proceeds to ask step snot why she was grounded and for how long..To which Step snot replies "Oh for two school nights..no big deal." My thoughts exactly...So whats to keep her from stealing from me and lying about it again?? Nothing at all..She has no remorse and found her punishment "no big deal". GRRRRRR... I inform DH of the exchange between the girls..He just sighs and rolls his eyes and that's the end of it.
So Sunday, he is at work and she is whining about getting new clothes and coming down stares every few minutes with some drama or another. She wants more pairs of "skinny jeans"...Not only are they expensive but Step Snot has a large bubble booty and those "skinny jeans" look anything but "skinny" on her..In fact, they just make her butt look larger then it already is for her size. I told her that I am not buying her anything and I am especially not buying her "skinny jeans" because they are to tight on her and are not flattering for her shape.
She keeps on and on about "how bad" she has it, how all her friends parents buy them the things and the clothes that they want blah blah blah blah..I told her that I don't care what her parents friends do and buy for them and that she doesn't need everything her friends have..She looks me right in my face and says, "You stupid and you have no idea what your talking about!".. I hauled off and smacked her right upside the head. It wasn't hard enough to hurt her but it sure stunned the crap out of her..
I then proceeded to tell her that she has a lot to learn about how to treat her parents and I was tired of her awful behavior and her getting away with it. That I wouldn't put up with that brand of behavior or back talk from my girls and I wasn't going to put up with it from someone else and that if she thinks she has it so bad in our home she can go live some where else for all I care!!" Tell you what she shut the hell up and went upstairs to her room!
Snotty ass descends the stairs in overly dramatic fashion an hour later with her bags packed saying she is leaving and she wants to talk to her dad on the phone. We live in the middle of rural bavaria Germany on a small army post..Where is she going to go?? Oh I am sure she thinks the is going to go stay with her friend a few doors down..A friend whose house she isn't allowed to hang out in because the mom is a drunken whore who brings different guys home every weekend while her husband is deployed. And lets her 12 year old daughter run amok all hours of the day and night and dress like a 12 year old porn star!! Needless to say, Step Snot thinks drunken whore is the "coolest" mom ever because she lets her kids do whatever they want!!
She gets him on the phone and tries to take her phone upstairs..I know what she is up too so I tell her that she will say what she wants to say to her dad right in front of me. She then proceeds to stand on the middle stair landing and lie up a storm to her dad..Telling him that I "beat her up because her jeans are to tight" and that I was "throwing her out of the house"..And all this other outlandish bull shit..
She made it sound like I balled up my fists and proceeded to pummel her with violent blows for an extended period of time...It is obvious she trying to "tattle" on me to her dad, get him to take her side, and to get him to be angry with me so I will "get into trouble" by him...I was so mad that I just wanted to shove her down the stairs!!! She is done with her obvious attempt to "divide and conquer" and to "get me into trouble" for giving her the pop upside the head she so richly deserved and to cause problems between me and her dad.She hands me the phone and goes to her room.
I try to tell him whats really been going on..He interrupts me and says "whats this about her pants being to tight"!! WTF??? First of all he is the one who complains to me when Step snot isn't around that her pants are too tight, how big her butt looks in her jeans, and he is worried about her because of how she eats and her butt is just getting bigger and bigger!!
It seemed to me that what was REALLY GOING ON and the truth wasn't what he wanted to hear. He was more interested in her version of events and what I might have possibly said to her about her pants being to tight..I was floored!!! So, I just tell him, never mind its obvious that your more interested in what she had to say then what I had to say..He certainly never questioned her about anything she might have said to me!!!
He then proceeds to tell me that he "doesn't need this at work"...Excuse me??? I pointed out that I agree but I am not the one who called and bothered him at work his little angel is and I didn't hear him telling her how he "doesn't need this at work". He just says it to me. Oh and I never asked to speak to him after step snot was done with her lies and drama..He asked to speak to me from work!!! Ass hole. He then proceeds to tell me he will deal with it when he gets home, that she isn't going anywhere, and to tell her to go to her room until he gets home..
Yeah, he got home from work last night and said NOTHING..Nothing to her about it and nothing to me about it...He just carried on like nothing happened!!! So basically, his daughter is allowed to steal my stuff, lie to my face, cause a bunch of chaos, then call him at work and blatantly lie on me and try to cause trouble between him and I...And NOTHING is done about it at all...I suspect he is probably feeling sorry for her because I actually had the nerve to pop her upside her head...Poor abused Step Snot!!!
To me all of the above is sooooo disrespectful to do to a parent and certainly should never be allowed or tolerated, especially by a freakin 12 year old!!! I would never dream of doing any of those things to my parents as a child or ever and neither would my two older BD's!!! But, the 12 year old step snot can do all of this and just basically get away with it with her "daddy". He does nothing to back or support me at all and yet he expects me to raise this kid and keep her during his year to 15 month long deployments!!!
I can tell you what...I don't have a lot of respect for my x husband..But there is no way on gods green earth that he would have ever done NOTHING if one of our girls ever had the audacity to do the things or say the things to me that step snot gets away with. After I had popped one of our daughters up side the head for being a smart mouth their dad would have come home from work and busted their little butts for talking to their mother like that, made them apologize, and then given them extra chores and grounded them for a very long time!
I am so sick of it, of him, and of her.. Whats wrong with this guy that he won't even correct or discipline his own 12 year old for stealing from her parent, lying to her parents faces, and being so disrespectful????? I just don't get it!!!
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Comments
You are SO RIGHT...
I can't imagine doing these things to any of my parent and getting away with it... The same way, I can't imagine my husband not dealing with it at all...
!
MY SD4 lied, saying that I had hurt her arm and I had pushed her, and I DID NOT! when she told him on his face that I did that to her, (she was showing a little cut on her arm the half the size of an ant) he FLIPPED OUT at her... he whipped her butt and she was in time out, for lying, he told her that he didn't want a liar in the house...
He also has made clear that he would not allow her to disrespect me (as an older kid)... and he aLWAYS believes my version of everything...
Anyway, this STEP SNOT needs to be stopped!!!! your DH needs to open his eyes, and MAN UP!!! You should really have a conversation with him, i mean, yeah, you knew he had a child when you married him, but he is supposed to make the child respect you, and you have no reason why to put up with this Bullsh!t...
Oh and I have never put a finger on my SD4 but I asked my DH like 2 nights ago if I was "allowed" to spank her, and he said that was a silly question, that OF COURSE I'm allow to whip her butt whenever she disrespects me, although I do not feel comfortable doing it, It's nice that DH supports me and trusts me so much.
Let me tell you, the whole "I hauled off and smacked her right upside the head." that was great, she DESERVED IT!!!!!
G
She has...
Actually, vickmeister she has called his mother "stupid" and his sister. Granted his mother and sister ARE STUPID but still..That is handled like it always was with his family members...They would just think it was "cute" and make an excuse for her bad behavior.
His family is a large part of the reason she is such a Brat..Because they treated her like a "princess" to such a disgusting point that she actually thought she was one!! His family is absolutley disgusting in the way they allowed this brat behave and treat adults...
His parents and siblings worship the ground step snot (aka the golden child) walks on..She could call them anything she wants and they would just baby her over it. Makes me sick.
My Dh does exactly the same
My Dh does exactly the same thing all the time. I complain and he ignores me, tells me it's unimportant and then proceeds to carry on as usuall.Strange but true.