men...enough said
I guess I am just feeling frustrated right now. DF and I were talking about the bio daughter he has, but hasnt seen in over 15 years. She was adopted by another guy, not part of our or his life at all. Anyway I asked him what reason he had for not wanting kids and he said his age. I pointed out he is not that old, early forties. He came back with that he doesnt think he has the paitence for them. I got quiet and he asked whats wrong. I told him I was thinking about things he doesnt like talking about...so he just says "oh" and goes back to watching tv. WTH??? So I cant even talk to him about it and I really want to. He just says "why do we have to talk about this?" when we do talk about it. Men are so irritating.
I have come to the realization that if I can put up with the skids I am also facing a future without the option of having bio kids. wonder if thats something I want?
I dont expect any answers here, I just needed to talk to someone. even if its just a laptop screen.
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No answers from me. Just
No answers from me. Just stuff for you to think about.
1. if his kids are a nightmare, or you have problems because of the ex, brining your own child into the mess
will only make life tough for your bio-child, if you had one
on the other hand,
2. some who has kids, who expects you to put up with their kids, but won't have any with you, is in my book,
very selfish
So, knowing what I know now, I would have not had kids with my DH...BUT, I would've found someone without kids to have them with.
Good luck. It's tough.
Ive been though this with a 4
Ive been though this with a 4 yr old ss in my previous marriage. He didnt want any more kids, but i had to care for his monster.
I agree with the selfishness. I told him he wouldnt have to do any of the raising, but he wouldnt stand for that. He doesnt want kids, but wont abandon one. which I admire, but its confusing. I wonder if maybe I got prego by accident if he would want to leave me and just support the baby. It seems unfair to trap him, but how unfair is it he has trapped me in the opposite sitcuation? I wouldn't trap him with a pregnancy, no worries. I am not like that. I want my future kids to have a real, stable family with love, not a attitude of not wanting the kid.
I have been thinking about leaving the relationship but I love him. Love isnt enough always, i know.
I wouldnt have the bio kid around the skids at all. not that they would come around. I would keep my own kids from bad influences as much as i can.