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Will be in BioDad's town. To contact or not to contact.

doll faced sm's picture

So, about this time last year, this happened: http://www.steptalk.org/node/116719

That is the last time I or my daughter had contact with him. DD hasn't said anything directly about seeing him, but I know she's still a combination of many emotions including hurt, hopeful, and curious. She recently asked me if there was a chance we might run into him sometime while we were visiting said town. I told her anything is possible. But yeah, she definitely still thinks about it.

This year, we will actually be in Bio-dad's town for 4 days during spring break to visit my grandmother. In my position, would you contact bio-dad and ask if he'd like to see his daughter knowing full well he may say yes and then simply no-show in an attempt to let DD meet her biofather? Or would you simply visit with your family and act as though it never crossed your mind? Somewhere in between?

Comments

Yosemite's picture

Your ex doesn't deserve it, but for your daughter's sake I would ask him if he wants to see her while you are in town. If you're worried he will flake out, then maybe you can tell him it's a surprise for her so you aren't telling her in advance. That way if he doesn't show up, she doesn't get disappointed.

doll faced sm's picture

She turned 12 in Oct. She has never met him that she remembers. When her bio-dad's mom was still alive, she took her to meet him several times, but DD was a baby and has no memory of this.

doll faced sm's picture

Okay, I don't have his email address, so I sent this on FB:

The number I have for you is old, I guess. Anyway, We will be in [town] the 27th through the 30th. Angel still wants to see you. If you'd like to see her, please let me know. This is fine. Text is fine [phone number]. I'm busy all day and rarely check my VM, so calling is not a good option.