Don;t think anything in the lives of Divorcees and Stepparents is normal. You have entered a completely different world. Does he have custody? If so, you have the upper hand. How long has he been divorced? If it is fairly new for him, then he is just working the kinks out.

Now,there is a good side and bad side to the age of Skids. The older they are, the harder it is to be accepted. But, the older they are, the sooner they will be out on their own If you have decided that you want this man in your life and are determined to make it work, then you will have to be ready to ride a roller coaster for a while. Right now, he is just glad to have the kids back and is focusing on them. It is hard when the kids leave for some time. We miss them and the routine very much. The break from them is very nice, but it is not our NORMAL. When ours kids go with the other parents and we actually have time alone, DH and I are different people. We are only husband and wife. But when the kids get home, the parent hats go back on. We have to make time for each other. So BF needs to understand how you are feeling. Put it very nicely because it is easy for Bio parents to get defensive about parenting and our kids. Let him know that he is so wonderful and the time you share is amazing. Let him know that you also accept his children and want to be a part of their lives. Explain that it hurts you when you are not included in their lives because you want to be. And yes, the BM has alot to do with how everyone acts. I have been a SM for two years and everytime SD comes back from the "other" family, we deal with this. So, yes, it is normal. You can make this work, I promise you. But be prepared for a long ride.