We have looked but our area has a really bad shortage of available therapist in the first place. I know this is true because I work in the field. Her insurance is really limited and those places aren't open at all on the weekends. Therapy is expensive and we truly cant afford the on going cost of them being out of network. Trust me he is continually looking.

We have many books on feelings including a lot by Mo Williams which the kids love. Every time something happens we talk about feelings but the son acts in the moment impulsively without thinking. His daughter wont talk about it when she gets upset. We know there's more too it but she wont open up.

It's very frustrating.

Thank you I will for sure look into it.

His daughter loves to read and will sit down and finish a chapter book in a day if she's really into it. I love reading and it was one of the things I kind of started. At first it was really just me and his daughter. We would take turns reading different books. His son wasn't into it but now he likes bedtime stories too. He's even brought one to me during the day asking me to read it to him. SO and I take turns doing the bedtime story but it's become really important to us all.

The children play select video games and honestly they do help because they have to cooperate to get through the levels. They don't get hours or just any game. The 4 year old has Vtech system if he is playing alone and all of those games are educational. We prefer Skylanders if they are playing together. Basicly as a long term gamer and as a therapist I've done research on games. They can be problematic if not monitored but have many positive benifits if parents are mindful.

However we were looking at new board games. I'm getting tried of Candy Land / Shoots and Ladders. Plus the girl is 7 and needs stuff that's not just based on chance. We were looking at one called Tricky Trunks which seemed really cool but she started whining because she couldn't get the parts she was going for. It's a grab them quick free for all type game. SO has talked about teaching her how to play the Pokemom trading card game since she's shown interest and it could be bonding time for them but until she can handle losing there's no way.

SO did discuss the poop issue with the doctor who didn't believe it was a physical health issue. The issue pops up when the child is dealing with change. We think going back to school has triggered this one.

When the child first entered school they did think he had development issues because of his behaviour. They said Autisum but that's a joke. Again my training and my nephew has been diagnosed but more he was examined. After a month being watched the teacher, therapist, and parents agreed it's all behavioral. It's partly the child's fault but when there's no consequences while at mom's there's little that can be done. The kids gets away with anything he wants at moms. She's constantly complaing about having to make him special meals because he won't eat, having to carry him because he won't walk, him refusing to go to bed or demanding to sleep with her. This is not acceptable at our home so it doesn't happen but she let's him. In our home he eats what he's given. Bed time is at 8 and we have NEVER carried him because he's refused to walk. Sure we've delt with temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way but it's not often because we stick to the rules We've agreed on.

They are avoiding court on their CO. Basicly they have been going through the lawyers to come to an agreement that will be passed through. Yes SO spoke with the lawyer about putting it in the order but since BM has refused it would mean fighting in court. Also a therapist would have go be on board. Its just not to that point yet that we could get one to agree and get it court ordered.

He can not take out a loan and it's unlikely he'd win if he did. Right now he's going up against a BM who's had primary custody of them for 2 years. Switching that to him already isn't easy but ontop if that they would be moving an hour from their current home and school district. He has alot of complaints but nothing enough to justify the judge making that large of a change.

He moved due to BM's behavior. She was impacting his ability to work and he was at risk of losing everything. Since the move he's gotten a better job and their interactions are alot better because of the limits the distance places on her craziness. The kids also see less fighting between them so him moving back isn't happening. The area we live in is much better and both of us would take extreme pay cuts to move back plus my work opportunities would be extremely limited. The one place I can use my degree I already know is an issue and would lead to burn out quick. Plus I like not hearing gunshots every other night.

SO attempted to go through the school which is where the was advised of what locations did therapy for children. The school can't do anything for son because of the program he's in. It is privetly funded and not exactly connected to the public school which the school counselor/ therapist works for. Unless the son gets diagnosed with an issue that would give him an IEP there's nothing they can do and even then with his age the services are limited till he gets into the public school system.

The counselor did meet with the daughter but since her issues didn't impact her school performance they couldn't work with her. SO did follow up in person. They said they understood and would keep an eye but until it impacts schooling it's an outside issue that a privet therapist will have to handle. They sympathized but aren't able to do anything.

I do not have children of my own so it's just me going into this. SO is supportive and our relationship is soild. Honestly the issues the kids show are "minor" enough if it wasn't for my education and work experience I probably wouldn't recognize them for the warnings they are. They are young enough it's easy to ignore but SO is present. He is aware of what's going on and the possibilities. He's trying to be proactive but until is gets bad enough he only has control of the 4 days a month he has them. Our worry is the impact the other 12 days every two weeks has in the kids. The fact that the son got so bad during the school year and that the daughter is now avoiding anything that challenges her.

Saddly I'm worried that's what this comes down to. We can impact the days we have them and we have to wait for the explosion.

Simi I'm sorry your situation didn't turn out well but you clearly are ignoring large parts of what I've explained.

My SO first off is not lazy. He is working against a vindictive, lying, controlling BM who doesn't give a damn about the kids having a relationship with their father. She has shown she is willing to ignore doctors orders to maintain control and avoid him being able to care for the children. Short of taking them to an ER or Inpatient facitly he can't do much since she has restricted his time so much. And both of those places would tell him he's wasting his time since things aren't bad enough.

He has spoken to the school which is about all he can do. He's speaking with the lawyer about what else he can do but he doesn't have money to throw into a lengthy court battle that will most likely end with the same results that his current agreement includes. He intends to return when he has a case to present that might actually go his way or do something to support the children.

Yeah he'd like BM to change her parenting because letting a 4 year old pick and choose what he eats, if he feels like walking, and stay up till midnight isn't exactly healthy. BM herself whines about the kids behavior and calls making demands that SO do this or that but it's odd because the kid doesn't do the same thing with us..... it's odd that somehow we manage to get him to eat the dinner we serve and get him to bed by 8 just to make a few differences.

Now realize that I will delete anything further that is simply antagonizing and attacking that contains no actual advice.

Again he did speak with the school. He was told no. I was there when he got out of the meeting. I also was there when BM messaged complaing that he didn't trust her as evident by him setting up his own time to speak to then rather than take her word. The boy doesn't have any disabilities which is the only way to get early intervention at his age and the girl's issues didn't impact her at school at the time. Since its school based therapy they first off must be in the public school system which the boy is not due to his age. Second it must impact school performance / classroom and or playground behavior.

The boy was tested / monitored because his behavior was so bad they thought he was autistic. Nope just doesn't want to behave. We complain so much about how poorly behaved kids put on meds just so parents don't have to parent and SO will not allow this.

The child's behavior was evaluated by an outside professional and it was decided by all involved that the answer was not that the preschool needed to do anything different. The teacher aknowlages it is the difference in parenting. That when dad is present the son behaves but mom does not have the same authority.

The child does not qualify for 504 at this time since his issues are not severe enough to be classified as a disability. As he gets older he may get diagnosed but right now it's just poor behavior as decided by parents, school, and doctors. Even SO doesn't believe his child has a disability due to the difference in behavior depending on which parent he is with.

Daughter also is not diagnosed with a disability. When he raised the issue the therapist did not see any issues present in that environment. He was told to speak to an outside source but is not able to bring them to one due to mothers control during her time. Even then the issue isn't serve enough that the child should be diagnosed and she would not require assistance in school since it doesn't impact school. For a school to provide assistance there must be a need for it which has not been presented in the school setting.

Basicly neither child has a disability which is required for 504 to take effect. Neither parent believes their children has a disability. Not do I from my experience. SO feels the children would benefit from speaking to a therapist to help process everything going on and that is not the responsibility of the school. The issues are not severe enough that an outside therapist would tell a court they should order therapy so for now BM can refuse to provide it on her time.

504 does not impact privet schools IF they do not receive any federal funds by the way. Given that they did examine the boy for autism I'm assuming they do get some sort of funds but they did their job. Neither child has a disability as agreed upon by all those invovled.