Single and maybe even NOT dating. I thought my life was stressful as a single mom - the only stress was financial. Not EVERYTHING.

I love DH but I regret marrying him. I would love to go back to a dating relationship. I was happier when I was single, without the relationship drama.

I felt that way with my ex. I hated being married and wanted freedom. We had nothing in common and were not right for each other. I was content to be single and childless forever. I met my current DH and all of that changed. I never believed in soulmates but I do now. I love him with all of my heart and we want to be together all of the time. He is my best friend. I am lucky though that he listens to me and puts me first. His kids are great (for now at least!) and they love me. We have them eowend so we have plenty of time alone. I for one am very happy I took another chance. He is kind and gentle and honest and tries to make me happier every day

Call me naive, but I still have some hope for marriage. I've known people who have divorced and were the better for it, people who have been remained in unhappy marriages, people who have divorced and been the worse for it, and people who have remained in happy marriages. From what I've seen, marriage in and of itself is not the factor that makes things bad or good. There's always other contributing factors when people are unhappy in the marriages.

It does seem like everyone will ultimately get bored of the same old thing; that's just people in general. That doesn't mean that the marriage is unhappy though, or that there is no love or nothing worth staying for. I dunno, I'm certainly no expert. I just think that marriage kind of is what it is; it's a long-term commitment to be with the same person. It doesn't in my mind make things any better or worse than they already were. A lot of people seem to just jump in too soon or have unrealistic expectations.

Can I just be alone? LOL Please? Pretty please, even?

If it was just me and my DH, YES, we are soul mates and I love him with all my heart. We have a wonderful relationship and love spending time together.

Unfortunately we've got a box full of toxic extended family (his side) from his snotty adult SD brats, to his c*zilla SIL's (thanks to the PASing of both the SIL's) and brothers.

I agree with Crayon. Check back with me in 4 years. We've only been married a year, and although the toxic people are presently out of our lives....that doesn't mean they'll stay away forever. And I do not look forward to re-opening our boundary fence anytime soon. (Esp. since DH has his tongue hanging out all the time just waiting for his darling princesses to re-engage with him and want a relationship). I fear I might snap if he "drips needy" when they do.

Lol... I ask myself this question a lot.

In fact i sometimes wonder if i should get out now before i have kids in the picture- but i just dont think i want to go the rest of my life without kids- sigh

Cant live with them.....

Cant live without them???

i love being married to my DH. It would almost be perfect if BM would not have flaked out and sent SS to us at 16 years old. But I only have 5ish more months to go and WE can go back to being us.

I love my DH and I love being married but would I do it again - that I do not know. I hate is bi-polar, drug addict son and I am very resentful that he is in my life because it keep that crazy nut case of a BM around.

Would be perfect is SS and BM were not around. Or if my DH told BM once and for all to never contact him again.

Never wanted kids and SS make me thankful of my decision.

Honestly? I love being married. This time.
My previous marriage was nothing like the marriage I have now with DH, and I can honestly say I never thought that being married could be this way. I was totally prepared to never be married again, but this is a completely different deal than what I was familiar with.
Now, I could do without all the drama from his ex and his kids, and every once in a while he acts like an ass, but overall? Yes, I like this marriage thing.

I'm glad I'm married. Been married for 3 years, been together 8 years.

That "in love feeling" doesn't have to go away, in my opinion. I was absolutely crazy in love with my dh the first couple years of being together. Then those hot feelings faded... but they have come back. I have been all over the man recently. I think the fact that we see less of the skids, and that we asre having our own baby may be part of it.... but also I find myself thinking of what a wonderful person he is, and knowing what a great man I have, makes me just WANT him!

I think also, how you define marriage, and the way in which you value it may help you find an answer to your question. If you see marriage as a way to gain "financial security" then maybe it is no better than staying single.
I personally feel a spiritual, deep bond knowing that we are married. We are not just dating and fucking. We both recognize and with a title (married) let the rest of the world know as well that we are only for eachother and nobody else. I love being married!!

I was previously married 18 yrs. I thought we had our tough patches but overall it was working out just fine. Then he walked out after inheriting all hi smother's property in another ocuntry. I couldn't touch it with a barge pole. We had 4 children 18-8 yrs old.

I thought that was my one chance and somehow I 'blew it'.

Then I met my DH online on another divorce site in 2001 and visited him in 2002. We had a very long distance relationship for about a year (NZ - USA)and married in 2004. This year we are married 7 yrs and it doesn't seem that long at all. In some ways I have known him all my life (not 10 yrs). He is the perfect man for me. He obviously wasn't the perfect an for his ex but he is mine.

He was a bit of a pushover with his boys but I made it clear form the beginning what is and isn't acceptable. And he more often agreed with me rather than disagreed. Probably because his mother and I see eye to eye on raising kids.

He showed my kids (the 2 that lived with us for a period of time)that her loves them almost like his own. He showed them he trusted them and when they let us down he would pick me up, help me draw our line in the sand and stood by our decisions.

He is my rock. He needs me as much as I need him. My parent often tell friends how happy I am now and how DH is my perfect match. and in knowing my parents that takes a lot of saying. My Dad has no problems with me being on the other side of the world because he knows DH is taking care of me.

Now if I had to accomodate him far more than he accomodated me or his kids were uncontrollable brats and never disciplined and distructive.... well I wouldn't be here. I aren't THAT stupid!

DH and I met 21 Jan 2006 and married 03 Jun 2006 - for all the wrong reasons. But we made it work. We grew together, and have weathered some tough situations.

I think what works for us is this:

We have similar jobs, values, interests, and goals.
His family is fabulous (not a single one will have anything to do with BM!)
My family stays out of our business.
We are actually willing to listen to each other.
We take care of each other and think of the other first.

That last ONLY works if you BOTH do it!

I spent my 20s in short-term relationships; not a single one holds a candle to what DH and I have. It's been 5 years, and every day is better than the last.

I'm glad I'm married and am happy about it now, in the beginning before my husband found his balls it was a different story, but my husband redeemed himself and stopped his guilty daddy crap and its been wonderful since. We are going on about 9 months of his new found behavior so it is sticking and ironically his relationship with his oldest improved so much when he stopped the guilty daddy stuff.

I am definitely happier being married. It gives me an extra feeling of being secure. It gives me legal, financial and tax benefits that would not otherwise be available to me. It gives my BD a second legal parent (birth father is completely out of the picture.) It tells the world that we are a team.

The most important factor for me was that since almost the very beginning of our relationship, DH and I have worked as partners in every aspect of life. We combined our parenting duties, households, and finances long before we got married. He is a true partner, someone I do want to spend the rest of my life with. He had never been married before - even though he was with BM for 16 years he never would marry her - so the fact that he wanted to marry me made me feel even more special and wanted, and told me he was sure about being committed to me.

I would like to check in after 4 years too... I hope I still feel the same way.

He stays with me when he doesn't have the kids and when he does he goes back to his house with them. I have alone time. It is perfect for me.

^^^^^^^^^LOVE this!!!^^^^^^^^^^^

I was married for 27 yrs and I can tell you I was happy maybe 3 yrs of that. In the first year of our marriage I became pregnant. I knew I had made a huge mistake we were nothing alike. We both were unhappy, we didn't think alike or even like to do the same things.

This is my situation too, but we've only been married for 2.75 years and honestly I don't think we've ever been happy after about the first month, and of course I got pregnant on our honeymoon weekend!

My husband traveled all the time it was what made the marriage work.

I've accepted that if I ever marry again (doubtful/highly unlikely!) this is probably going to be one of the criteria - that husband either travels or works so much that he's never home (i.e. military) or we will have a long-distance marriage or just live in separate homes because I am convinced that 's the only way it would work! Lol! Sad thing is, my first husband was in the military and gone all of the time, but I was so young when we married (only 19yo) that I didn't really appreciate it until he got out of the military and I had to look at him everyday - we were divorced within a year after he got out!

Needless to say I was done. I told him to move out immediately. When he did it was like a huge weight had lifted. I was happy really happy. No drama, no dark cloud, no taking care of someone who couldn't even pack for himself. I had become his mother. I only had to take care of me!

This is how I feel about my current/second marriage, except the separation is being driven by different reasons, and I have two small children to take care of in addition to me!

Can marriage really be happy? Or do we settle in and get bored and take each other for granted. That doesn't sound happy to me.

I think for me it was more like I simply settled period. I married the first man that came into my life after I became a single mother that knew me platonically before I was single mother. I felt I could trust him and that he would be a good father for my baby, and at that time that was enough for me.

ARE ANY OF YOU REALLY HAPPIER MARRIED? Or do you wish you would have stayed single and dated.

Definitely not happier married. Wish stbxH & I would just continued dating and living separately and we probably would have a better relationship than we do now!