This bugs me as well. I see lots of my co-workers still supporting their college age or just out of college kids. Paying for their cars, insurances, health insurances. These are kids who have apartments and jobs. It's almost an attitude of "look how great a parent I am that I can support my kids this way". I look at it as "when are you going to let them grow up". Skids will be like this. They will expect DH to take care of everything because they don't have a clue how to take care of themselves. They haven't been taught the simplest of things-doing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, managing money. I tell my BS that my job is to raise him so he can be an adult and be on his own. I think it is more common with COD because the parents seem to stop parenting when the divorce occurs but in general it is a problem with society today. The kids feel they are entitled to be taken care of and they aren't expected to take care of themselves.

Your kids, whether bio or skids, should KNOW that their options are limited upon turning 18 and graduating high school. They have the summer after high school graduation to decide, but their options are as follows:
1. move out and move in with your friends, but you are responsible for ALL living expenses.
2. move out and go to college. You WILL fund your own college education and ALL living expenses. (My state has a grant where if you maintain a B average, college is paid for, so there is no need for them to go into debt for college and I damn sure am not going to do it.) You are allowed to "visit" for a few days at a time, but you are NOT allowed to move in. If you spend the night, you need to be home before I go to bed because I WILL NOT stay up late worrying about you.
3. move out and join the military. You will be allowed to visit but you are NOT allowed to move in. If you spend the night, you need to be home before I go to bed because I WILL NOT stay up late worrying about you.
See the common denominator in all 3? You move your ass OUT of my house.

Under NO circumstances are you allowed to stay in MY home. PERIOD. Don't care if you want to pay me "rent" and help with groceries and utilities...your ass is out. Otherwise, kids NEVER leave and they just take advantage of you. There is always that whole load of crap of waiting up until 4 a.m. because your 21 year old thinks they are an "adult" and don't have to tell you that they are out with friends and you sit up worrying until 4 a.m. NOPE. Not going thru that. You can move out and stay out until 4 a.m. and I don't have to lose sleep over it.
I have 7 brothers and sisters and most of us did this with our kids and skids and the kids/skids are all out of the house, successful, completed college (some AFTER the military) and raising their own families....the ones that didn't kick their kids out of the house still have 30-35 year-olds living in their homes and they complain all the time about supporting them. Complete, utter bullshit.
If you expect your kids to ACT like adults, you TEACH them how to take care of themselves. It doesn't START at 18. It starts around 2 when you teach them the basics of hygiene, cleaning up after themselves and putting things away. By 12, you should know how to do your own laundry and know how to cook a few simple meals and how to follow a recipe. By 16, you should have a job and be paying for ANY "wants" that you have, i.e. cell phone, going out with friends, gas, car insurance, etc. By 18, you should be prepared to live on your own. Are they going to make mistakes and need help at times? Sure, but helping with an occasional oil change or a new set of tires in the winter isn't the same thing as letting your 23 year old sit in your basement, in his underwear for 23 hours a day, eating cheetos, while playing video games. What the heck is wrong with some of these parents??

The difference between enabling and helping: "Helping" is doing something for someone that they can not do for themselves. "Enabling" is doing something for someone that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. And then there is the flat out "ignoring" that a lot of our DH's like to do.

NO freaking way do I want to raise BS5 to be one of these crippled kids that graduates from high school and is clueless about life. I mean does this crap make parents proud? I think (at least in most of the failures to launch that I have seen or see coming) the parents aren't successful adults either, so maybe it's just the when in Rome concept?

My BS17, who I will admit I treat like a Prince, has shown me just how much he's willing to let me do for him, just because it's easier.
Just recently, he moved from his bedroom across the hall from my bedroom to the downstairs bedroom. His old room is now GB's nursery when she comes over on weekends.
While he slept upstairs, EVERY SINGLE MORNING, I would have to wake him up for school. I told him that once he moved downstairs he was shit outta luck cause I was NOT going downstairs to wake him up.
I haven't had to wake him up ONCE.
So basically, he was ALWAYS able to wake up on his own, but he would let me do it because it was more convenient than having to set his alarm.
Yesterday, he filled out a money order to send to BM. He said "Why can't you fill it out?"
I said "Because that's not my kid and YOU need to do it."
I also made him address the envelope that we were using to mail it in.
I also informed him that while he is on Spring Break, he is to call his job and have them give him more hours since he will be home and able to work. He didn't like that very much, but too bad.