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How do you talk about puberty with sd whose mom is not in the picture?

emilymarie's picture

Submitted by emilymarie on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 7:50pm

My SD is almost 10 and BM lives a plane ride away and never sees her. So I guess that leaves the whole puberty discussion up to me. And not knowing if she knows anything and what she knows, how do I approach it? She's very reserved and never even walks around the house in a towel. I'm so dreading this but don't think it's appropriate for her dad to approach the subject.

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ConfusedAndFrustrated's picture

Submitted by ConfusedAndFrus... on Tue, 03/08/2011 - 8:53pm

I agree with Foxie. I also watch a lot of tv with my SD13. When certain subjects come up, I use it as an opportunity to talk to her about those things, and what she would do in those situations. 10 is a little young for her to understand much about the technical aspects of puberty, but I think Foxie hit the nail on the head. First comes the 'acting like a young lady'.
The only other advice I have.. don't take the puberty/sex thing too seriously. It will make her uncomfortable, and you will be uncomfortable. Just talk to her like you talk about anything. Make a joke out of it, even. The more comfortable she is, the more she'll hear, and the more likely she'll be to come back and talk to you when she needs to.

Good luck Smile

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 10:41pm

I've always been the one to get all the questions. I've always been of the mind set if your old enough to ask, you're old enough for the truth & BM lies & tells SD ludicrous things.

For example, BM told SD you couldn't get pregnant until you got married. Um, SD, & three different cousins (all BMs family) were born out of wedlock. Not to mention, what happens if she takes that kind of info literally.

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 2:23pm

My SD9 has been asking me questions since she was 7, nothing really intense but a few questions here and there. SD lives with BM but she will never discuss anything with my SD.

In your case, well someone needs does need to speak with her at some point. This is what I did and it worked out for my SD and I.

I went out and bought her this book called "American Girl" go to the website, www.americangirl.com it's an awesome website and they have wonderful books for young girls which are age appropriate and will guide her step by step on this wonderful journey of growing up and what to expect and then if she has any questions after reading the book she can come to you.

Take a look....

www.americangirl.com

Z Smile

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 2:23pm

My SD9 has been asking me questions since she was 7, nothing really intense but a few questions here and there. SD lives with BM but she will never discuss anything with my SD.

In your case, well someone needs does need to speak with her at some point. This is what I did and it worked out for my SD and I.

I went out and bought her this book called "American Girl" go to the website, www.americangirl.com it's an awesome website and they have wonderful books for young girls which are age appropriate and will guide her step by step on this wonderful journey of growing up and what to expect and then if she has any questions after reading the book she can come to you.

Take a look....

www.americangirl.com

Z Smile

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 2:23pm

My SD9 has been asking me questions since she was 7, nothing really intense but a few questions here and there. SD lives with BM but she will never discuss anything with my SD.

In your case, well someone needs does need to speak with her at some point. This is what I did and it worked out for my SD and I.

I went out and bought her this book called "American Girl" go to the website, www.americangirl.com it's an awesome website and they have wonderful books for young girls which are age appropriate and will guide her step by step on this wonderful journey of growing up and what to expect and then if she has any questions after reading the book she can come to you.

Take a look....

www.americangirl.com

Z Smile

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 10:26pm

Yes this is the book I gave my daughter- I gave it to her when she was 9 as she was showing the early signs of puberty. I feel this is a very gentle book about things like hygiene, menstruation, bras, etc-nothing sex talk or anything like that. In fact I think its time I found it for my other daughter who is now 9.