My SO goes to court tomorrow for the final hearing on his divorce and child custody. The 2 kids have been living with my SO full time for the past 4 1/2 years. For the first 2 years, BM was out of state following a guy around the country. After she came back, she lived with a different man about 45 minutes away. Was supposed to see them a day each weekend, but most weekends would come up with excuses why she couldn't see them. Then she moved back to her home state, came back and took them with her without saying anything to my SO. A couple days later she was ordered to bring them back via emergency custody order, and she has only seen them a few times since then.

My SO has no problem with her seeing them as much as she would like, but knows that living with her full time is not in their best interest, especially 3 states away from where he/we live. These kids were born and raised here, one 8 and the other one is 9.

So I am stressing about the court date. Based on everything we know of the situation, he should have no problem getting full custody. Even the court's social worker's report said that they should remain with him. But I know that the facts sometimes don't matter. There are still some judges that give custody to mothers even if it is not in their best interest, etc. I know if for some reason she ends up with the kids, my SO will change completely, and it may be too much for him to handle. However, even if he does end up with custody, I know some things will change too, depending on if she gets any time at all, and how much. I am not looking forward to possibly having to plan our summers around her if she can choose any weeks she wants during the summer. It will be hard to plan for daycare, family trips, and them spending time with their grandparents. I am also worried about if she doesn't get any time with them.

I love the kids and want my SO to get full custody, but I also like having alone time with him too. If she gets no time, then we will only have time alone when the kids spend time with their grandparents in a different state. I am also worried about the kids. Somehow they know that the court date is this week. I know they will be upset about whatever happens. The oldest child actually asked why they couldn't spend 10 days with father then 10 days with mother and keep switching... That is impossible with her moving away like she did. Even if she did live here, she would always be changing that anyway saying something came up and she couldn't keep them..(but what about when things came up with my SO and he had to deal because he had noone to drop them off on?)

I am also stressed about the court date itself, because I have no idea how it works. How long does it take? Will they get an answer right then and there about custody and everything else? It is also possible that it will be extended into Thursday. Even more stressful for everyone.