So I was worried that the SD quarantine would make me go back to the time of feeling terrible and drained by SD behavior and DH lack of parenting. I find that my personal journey of not taking the problem-solver(rescuer) mindset with SD and DH, makes me feel liberated, and I am capable of instead focusing 100% on my own goals and addressing my personal problems. Without this inner anxiety, that I had before (when I was with SD), that I could not really explain the origin of at the time, but it is gone now. And, I am continuing to practice disengagement. 

SD just came to our home last night, and in the morning, DH opened the fridge, and what before was stacked with all kinds of food, is now looted, completely emptied out overnight. His face expression was so shocked. *Well, not my problem. I am busy working not engaging*

Then later, SD came and opened the fridge equally disappointed that the fridge was not magically stacked in the morning. DH did not say anything, but his face did all the talking. Then she announced that because of her serious allergies, DH has to buy more luxurious breakfast and lunch meals (the poor victim of fake allergies). *Again, not my problem. I am busy working not engaging*

On a more serious note, I will have a talk with DH about him increasing his payments to our shared bill account so that it is him that takes the financial hit for letting SD live here for free. I will not make extra payments for sure. *Again, not my problem.*

And just now, SD told DH she is infuriated that all group assignments have become individual assignments, implying that she actually has to do the work instead of free-riding of other group members' hard work. Consequently, her chances of failing HS again is increasing, and she is taking the victim position. *Again, not my problem. I am busy working not engaging* (if you had seen my reaction before, you would know that this is a tremendous improvement. I would most likely jump in and help her by offering to read her work and give feedback on her writing *kicking my old self*)

I am embarrassed to say, but prior to this awakening, I used to drink wine or eat unhealthy to self-medicate the evolving inner anxiety of being with SD and DH (I also went in therapy). Now, I do not need these unhealthy habits anymore, I have lost about 6kg (/13 pounds) of weight, and I have started to exercise regularly and stay committed to my weight loss and health goals. 

I wish I could go back in time and kick the old me in the head. I have learned so much from steptalk, and appreciate all the comments I have gotten on my messy madness, the truth is that my journey of self-care started when I found this site, reading about disengagement, mini-wife, narcs, and other terms like drama triangle. Not to mention, the thoughtful comments that challenge my current mindset and makes me accountable. I have been feeling like I should not give advice to others here since my way of dealing with things was unhealthy, and I am still trying to figure out what healthy looks like. I do hope that documenting my journey here holds me accountable and that if someone akin to my old self, reads it, they might get something out of it. And next for me most likely imply not me dealing with it, instead me putting boundaries with DH (as pointed out in insightful comments), which in turn, will most likely end my marriage. I am working on getting there financially and formulating my deal-breakers, as mentioned, I've been crunching the numbers, and have set the date by the end of August 2020, I am fully committed to that.