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OT - Interrupting Husband

EveryoneLies's picture

Submitted by EveryoneLies on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 12:29pm

DH is a good husband and a loving and involving dad, so don't get me wrong. BUT there is this one thing that just keeps pissing me off - his interrupting habit. 

I've noticed that it has been more frequent than before, many times he didn't even let me start. I would make a sound like TH- or Wh- because I intend to talk, he would then jump in, completely stop me from talking and say "I've got this." Even if he has NO IDEA what I was to say, and you bet he was wrong on many counts in terms of "guessing" what I want to say.

Talked to him about this and he in turn accuse me of not letting him finish what he wanted to say (Excuse me?). Anyone has some good idea of how to deal with a constant interrupter?

Comments

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 12:47pm

I'm assuming you've tried, excuse me I was speaking & it hasn't worked. My situation was a bit different, SD was constantly allowed to interupt adult conversations. My advice-  Get up and walk away each and every time you are interupted. This breaks the conversation completely and calls attention to the fact it is incomplete. Refuse to continue the conversation since it clearly wasn't important. 

EveryoneLies's picture

Submitted by EveryoneLies on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 1:01pm

My SS does the same. He's on the spectrum so he doesn't know when to talk and when not. (I hate this so much but it's freaking valid reason) The "I'm speaking" sometimes works, but I'm damn tired of the constant reminder and he gets all defensive about it. 

I will sure try the walk away next time.

Olivia2020's picture

Submitted by Olivia2020 on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 11:33pm

I've done this on dates...pick up my purse and just leave...who has time to be invalidated? Well, I feel invalidated because if he asks me a question then interrupts....I guess what I had to say isn't important. Or just go quiet and have a blank stare off to the distance...it's funny but it works

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 4:29pm

and it drove me NUTS.  I mean absolutely NUTS.  DH on the other hand most of the time didn't even really realize what he was doing.  The thought entered his head and out his mouth.  He wasn't doing it to be disrepectfull but more because he didn't want to forget his thought since the ADHD has him all over the map somtimes.

Took me awhile to break him of the habit.  Most of the time if he interrupts I just quit talking and stand there looking at him like he has two heads.   I also took to doing the same thing to him...oh boy did he not like that. But it did open his eyes that he indeed does interrupt me. 

He still does it from time to time..but much like my kids..if you keep reinforcing by stopping talking, etc. They can be taught..but they will slip up from time to time.  Dh interrupted me this morning..or should I say didn't let me get two words out.  I simply looked at him and said 
 "Can ya be quiet for 5 seconds so I can talk...because you interrupting me?"  DH laughed, shook his head and said..yea sorry about that....then joking said..you got 5 seconds before my brain kicks back in again.  I got my thought out and we got on the same page.  It wasn't something of great importance, just about some cleaner I wanted from the grocery store.  

And no one is perfect.....DH interrupts, I take over when asked for help and I tend to get snippy if its not done my way due to my anxiety issues.

Should I leave DH of his faults...nah.....would DH leave me over my faults.  Gee I hope not...

Marriage isn't about having the "perfect" partner..it is having a partner that you can work with, despite your flaws and their flaws.   We both work on flaws/faults and hope that we at least make a good effort to overcome them.

 

Sheesh....this doesn't seem to be a LEAVE HIM or else kind of situation.

EveryoneLies's picture

Submitted by EveryoneLies on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 5:23pm

My DH also has ADHD, this explains a lot! (I keep forgetting he has ADHD)

I was definitely not on the leave him camp hahaha. We both are first borns in our family so I guess neither of us like to be talked over (but again, who does?). Thank you for the good strategy and advice Biggrin

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Mon, 10/12/2020 - 1:30pm

I agree. This is an annoying HABIT, a behavior that can be changed. It's a big jump to assume EveryoneLies' DH holds her in contempt or is exploiting her.

Everyone, please simmer down. Settle your differences privately, not by highjacking someone's post.